Thursday, October 22nd 2009

By Myles Herod

When’s the last time you actually stopped to think about Canadian television? I’m thinking that maybe some Communications or Cultural Studies student is probably writing a paper on it right now, but for the most part…, well, you get the drift. This ain’t no Marshall McLuhan “the medium is the message” piece though, it’s about our country and what we’re producing.

My question to you: is Canadian content worthy enough to pay for? Well, the big three (Global, CBC, and CTV) think so, demanding that cable subscribers such as Rogers pay them for the free programming they provide, thus taxing us in the process. Does that make any sense? Correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t these stations been like, readily available for decades? I’m sure everyone has witnessed the snowy static of a cable-less television, where the default lies in watching hockey, or, if you’re lucky, The Simpsons.

When I think of Global, I think of their Sunday night cartoon line-up. With CTV it’s typically American Idol and some other dreary excuse for entertainment. CityTV, doesn’t even count. Hey, wait a minute, aren’t all these byproduct of the good ol’ USA? To be fair, CBC does show hockey still, right?  Honestly, I’d be hard pressed to name a quality Canadian program. For every Dragon’s Den there’s a Battle of the Blades, or, dare I say, Canadian Idol? Damn you Ben Mulroney! Can someone tell me how this man is relevant, and why he has two shows?

Why do these broadcasters insist on alienating themselves with an already essential service that produces such dribble? They should know better. Adding insult to injury, this supposed TV tax with their “save local TV” ad campaign is pathetic in its attempt to produce sympathy. I’ve seen bad, but this is beyond bad. Expanding by a whole two minutes on the usually allotted time for a commercial, we are subjected to an earnest country boy, guitar in hand, singing his case to save our stations. I haven’t got to the worst of it yet.  The commercial is over-mixed, the initial lyrics of the song are drowned out by an overbearing piano score, leaving most dialogue inaudible. What we’re left with is an under-lit production, striving for comedic intentions but coming up desperate. References to cows, lemonade stands and a Ron Burgundy knock off is simply sad. How ironic, a Canadian TV ad that fails due to its creative and technical shortcomings.

Why, in an economic recovery, would three organizations of such clout propose such outrageous intentions? What’s really at stake here? Little Mosque on the Prairie? Frankly, I could do without it. Believe me, I love my country and believe in diversity, I just wish Canadian funding would translate into something that produced dynamic results, a product worthy to say the least. What are we so afraid of? Offending the conservative mindset? Yet, we produce a show so amateur in its authenticity of depicting the Muslim culture, we risk having our entertainment industry become the laughing stock to the rest of North America. Oh wait, too late. Thank god for TIFF (The Toronto International Film Festival), the Quebec film industry, and David Cronenberg to name a few of only a handful. If not for them, we’d lack any international credibility.

Since we’re on the subject of films, let me just tie it in for a moment. Showcase, Canadian run station and division of CanWest Media Inc presented at one time, a diverse collection of world films that were shown every Friday night. What happened? American content began to creep in. Goodbye Ingmar Bergman, hello CSI: Miami! What was once a vital chance to view hip art house fair, has now been gutted to incorporate mainstream blandness. I’ll give Showcase a little cred – fulfilling their Can-Con quota, they brim their schedule with endless episodes of Kenny vs. Spenny and Trailer Park Boys. Good or bad, at least it’s Canadian.

As for films, TVO has picked up where Showcase left off in its efforts to present unique cinema every Saturday night. How do they do it? TVO is a publically funded station.

Broadcasters claim cable companies are reaping all the benefits, reportedly taking in revenue of 10 billion dollars for 2008. Broadcasters, wanting in on this action, are taking their efforts to the CRTC. What will this mean if they get their way? Roughly ten extra dollars a month added on to our cable statements.

Ok, I tell you what, I’ll part with 10 dollars a month, as long as they bring back that delightful Jonathan Torrens and his much beloved Jonovision to the Canadian conscience. Damn, that was a good show.

•Myles Herod

Tags: Can-Con, Canada, CBC, television