Thursday, February 26th 2009
A rewarding sex life makes you happier and healthier. Sex is a workout that includes orgasms! I’d like to see the Pulse beat that. It lowers cholesterol levels and improves circulation. Sex can boost endorphin production by up to 200 per cent. It aids the immune system and helps cleanse the body of toxins. What happens, however, when you find yourself losing interest in sex?
While there is no arguing that a great sex life is beneficial in numerous ways biologically as well as mentally and emotionally, there is a common barrier many people face to achieving a satisfying sex life; their libido. A person’s sex drive is reliant upon many factors. As Richard Driscoll, PhD, a marriage therapist revealed, “The biggest problem I encounter in sex and marital counseling in an imbalance in sexual interest-one partner wants more, one wants less.”
Does sex drive come down to the individual or is it influenced by gender? What do you do if you find your libido lagging?
Firstly, your sex drive can be impacted by many health factors. Medications as well as medical conditions can impact your libido. Illness, stress, depression, thyroid disorders, hypertension, alcoholism, cancer and diabetes are all known to have the potential to lower the sex drive. Medications as well, have this ability—particularly SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) used to treat depression, blood pressure medication and tranquilizers.
According to Psychology Today, statistics that cited a lowered sex drive in women range anywhere from 40-50 per cent and 20-25 per cent in men. These numbers tend to suggest that women are much more susceptible to a lowered sex drive than men, but is this really the case?
One interesting theory which exists to explain the alleged low sex drive in women was put forth by Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic. Esther argued that women have a natural caretaking instinct and this drives them put others first, even in bed. She wrote, “Desire is rooted in autonomy, freedom and selfishness. If you can’t be selfish, you can’t have an orgasm.”
Lara Gaspardy, a fourth year Anthropology student disagreed with this theory when she argued that women are not inherently less concerned with sex than men. “I think women in our society are more sexually oppressed than men in general, but I believe that women place just as much importance on sex, if not more, than men.”
It may be that men are simply embarrassed to admit a low level of sexual desire. A recent Psychology Today article argued that admitting to low sexual desire goes against the cultural perception of what we assume men to be like. It is important to note, however, that generating information and statistics regarding low desire levels in men is difficult because little research has been conducted on the subject.
Chris Erl, a first year Political Science student argued that our ideas about typical behavior for males and females are socially constructed and therefore not intrinsic. “Men are more concerned [about sex] than women, but that’s socially constructed. Men are socialized to be the dominant member of any relationship, and sex is closely tied in with dominance.”
Talking about sex, especially when combating societal norms when it comes to sex and gender roles, is difficult. Instead of attributing characteristics associated with a gender it may be wiser for researchers to examine sex drive on an individual basis rather than arguing that one gender is intrinsically predisposed to be less interested in sex.
The libido is likely more dependent on the individual. As Gaspardy argued, “I don’t think that men and women have varying libidos (as in men have a higher libido than women in general), but that it varies from person to person rather than gender to gender. I think sex is inherently important for both sexes to varying degrees that depend upon the individual rather than their gender.“
Diagnosing a lowered sex drive from hypoactive sexual desire disorder or depression is difficult. According to the Mayo Clinic, the diagnosis for hypoactive sexual desire disorder is characterized by “a persistent or recurrent lack of sexual thoughts of receptivity to sexual activity which causes personal distress.” It is important to note that this condition is not directly caused by medications or medical conditions. A lowered sex drive in general may be.
Depending upon the cause of the lowered sex drive and the length and duration of symptoms a person may need to seek professional help. If it is a short-term slump, however, try taking the advice therapist Michele Weiner-Davis recommended. “Just do it…as the Italians say, the appetite comes from eating.” Like many health issues, the sex drive is dependant upon multiple factors. Incorporate the maintenance of a healthy sex drive into your overall activities to stay healthy, and reap the benefits.
Hey, Did You Know?
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Lara Gaspardy states that women are just as concerned about sex as men. Not true. A recent survey showed that women who have a low sex drive really aren’t very concerned about it. Like Esther Perel says, a woman needs to derive pleasure from sex, to feel like there is something in it for her, if she is going to have sex for herself, and not because of social pressure to do something to please a man.
Dr. Stephanie Buehler
Psychologist & Sex Therapist
The Blog Erotic