Thursday, January 8th 2009

By Lindsay Jolivet

Even though 2008 is dead and gone, we wanted to give it one last chance to shine before bidding it goodbye and good riddance. And so, what follows is a list of the products that made our list of the ultimate ugly, impractical, and just plain ridiculous inventions from the year we no longer call our own. We present to you InsideOut’s worst inventions of 2008.

Woman’s toilet aid: Although the toilet aid came about before last year, people only recently started catching on and numerous new brands have emerged including Shewee, Urinelle, and P-Mate. It resembles a funnel, and essentially, it is one. This product is designed for women who seek an alternative to unsanitary public toilet seats. Granted, it could be immensely useful in sticky situations, but you can’t deny that it sounds laughable. The thought of buying these at the store made us blush—and giggle.

One-legged stool: You can thank IKEA and MADD (Mother’s Against Drunk Driving) for this brainy idea. Although individually they produce wicked furniture and much-needed social change, we think they should take some time apart. Invented as an indicator of excessive drunkenness, the stool actually proved that people don’t have very good balance, regardless of their level of sobriety. This one made Avant News’ worst inventions of 2008 list, and reportedly resulted in a number of injuries, often for the designated driver sitting at the bar.

Oyster + iPod: We’re going out on a limb by bashing one of Time Magazine’s dubbed “Best Inventions of 2008,” but I think we’ll have some support. After the results of a study concluded that oysters taste 30 per cent saltier when the eater was listening to sea sounds while eating them, a restaurant in England decided to serve the appropriate sounds on an iPod with the meal. I guess it’s better than torturing the whole restaurant at once.

Nokia Mobile Smelephone: Tired of irritating rings and jittering vibrations? Try smelling your phone calls! What? Also mocked by Avant News, this company’s flop for the year was a cell phone that omits scents instead of sound. Strawberry and citrus seems like a fabulous way to answer your phone in time, Nokia. Try to keep it away from your eyes.

Apple TamPlayer: Another attempt to resolve issues of female anatomy, the TamPlayer plays music every four hours to remind women to change their tampons. It might prevent Toxic Shock Syndrome, but I don’t know anyone that wants their crotch to sing on a regular schedule. This one is at the top of our list of embarrassing invention blunders.

We hope that you’ve enjoyed yourself mocking the not-so-witty brainchildren of companies around the world, but don’t forget, no matter how ridiculous these are, neither you nor I would necessarily think of anything better. Well, probably. Don’t worry sad inventors, 2009 will be better.

Tags: Apple, IKEA, ridiculous