Infrequent meetings and course updates have left some students worried about the completion of their thesis projects
C/O Janko Ferlic
Some fourth-year undergraduate students in the McMaster University Department of Psychology, Behavior and Neuroscience feel that their thesis courses are currently lacking adequate communication from the program staff and faculty.
Whereas their first semester of thesis in fall 2020 consisted of frequent course-wide meetings and communications from the department, students like Rya Buckley, a fourth-year in biology and PNB and the Silhouette’s Arts & Culture Editor, have found this to significantly decrease this past semester.
“The original meetings were really helpful . . . But then we did stop having those meetings, because there wasn’t really anything [to do] and that was fine at first. [However,] I think we definitely got fewer and fewer meetings and I feel like the meetings became less timely,” said Buckley.
The lack of communication began to grow after reading week and then into March. Buckley explained how stressful this became, especially around times when deadlines were approaching and students had many questions.
“Communication definitely fell off slowly . . . and on top of it, we weren't getting the information [in] another form. We weren't getting regular emails. We have an Avenue page for [the] thesis course, but we don't get regular Avenue announcements or anything like that,” explained Buckley.
On top of the lack of communication, the students’ poster session was also cancelled in February.
“Given the organizational demands of this virtual conference, as well as student stress levels in the busy end-of-term period, it was decided not to hold a program-specific virtual event for thesis presentations this year. Rather, students have been encouraged to present their thesis research at the Annual Ontario Psychology Undergraduate Thesis Conference,” explained Bruce Milliken, chair of the PNB department in an email statement to the Sil.
The department of PNB is hosting their 51st annual Ontario Psychology Undergraduate Thesis Conference this year on June 4, 2021. All thesis students will have access to free registration and an opportunity to present their thesis research projects.
“Personally, I think it was . . . a little easier for the department [to cancel]. I think they were probably having difficulty planning or having the time to plan it. I don't really think students and potentially even supervisors or maybe some internal supervisors were consulted [on the decision],” explained Buckley.
Buckley also addressed the other reason for cancelling the poster session, which was to reduce the stress on students.
“[It] makes sense and [it] doesn't because this was an expected part of our course,” said Buckley.
Communication has not just been lacking with students, but in Buckley’s eyes with supervisors as well. The student explained how many do not receive updates and information about upcoming deadlines for their administrative tasks.
“When we have deadlines coming up, [my supervisor] doesn't necessarily get an email . . . There's been a couple of [times] where she's had to submit by a certain date, but hasn't received an email about that [in] a proper manner . . . Especially with supervisors who are super busy people, it can be difficult when they get this delayed [information],” said Buckley.
Buckley acknowledged the difficulty of facilitating a course in a pandemic and other internal department issues that may have made it harder.
“I feel like there's something there . . . I'm not sure if it's a PNB problem or a campus problem. . . I think it's so difficult in COVID to figure out what's normal because you have no good base,” said Buckley.
Black McMaster students reflect on the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement in 2020
This article is a part of the Sil Time Capsule, a series that reflects on 2020 with the aim to draw attention to the ways in which it has affected our community as well as the wider world.
In the summer of 2020, sparked by the death of George Floyd, there was a resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement. Protests spread across the United States and the world. Businesses and individuals, both with and without a history of supporting Black communities, began posting messages of solidarity on social media and pledged to do better.
In just over a month, it will be a year since George Floyd was murdered. In addition to the killings, we have also seen how Black folks have been disproportionately affected by COVID-19. For Black folks around the world, this year has been exhausting and retraumatizing.
It’s been exhausting and retraumatizing to learn of more killings and what little action has taken place. It’s been exhausting and retraumatizing for our organizers and protesters, who have been met with police violence. It’s been exhausting and retraumatizing to field questions and concern from those in our lives who have never before cared about our Blackness.
It’s been exhausting and retraumatizing for Black students. All year, Black students, alumni, staff and faculty have been observing McMaster University's response to the resurgence and continuing to advocate for safe spaces and meaningful action.
So as this academic year comes to a close, it was important for me as a Black woman at McMaster to use one of my last articles at the Silhouette to discuss how Black students have been dealing with this tumultuous year.
Student activism in summer 2020
On May 25, 2020, in Minnesota, George Floyd was killed while in police custody, for which now-former police officer Derek Chauvin currently is standing on trial, charged with murder and manslaughter. The news and video of Floyd’s murder flooded traditional news and social media. In the days and weeks that followed, protesters took to the streets across the United States and the world.
While this wasn’t the first time a Black person had been unjustly killed, for many, Black and non-Black alike, the summer of 2020 felt different. There are many factors that influenced the increased response, chief among them the pandemic. Black folks, who have been disproportionately affected, were fed up with government neglect while non-Black people quarantining at home had no choice but to pay attention.
“People rioting and actually protesting and doing stuff like that was the reason people started talking about it more, because, essentially you had something for white people to debate about and to fight about . . . [T]hat eventually just made a chain of events so people were being like, “Why are black people rioting?” Okay, well, why are black people rioting and then people were actually looking at it,” said Aaron Parry, a fourth-year student and promotions executive on the Black Students’ Association.
“People rioting and actually protesting and doing stuff like that was the reason people started talking about it more, because, essentially you had something for white people to debate about and to fight about . . . ”
Aaron Parry, a fourth-year student and promotions executive on the Black Students’ Association
Black McMaster students were among those protesting both online and offline last summer, continuing the work that many have been doing for years. For instance, on June 17, 2020, McMaster student organizers held a protest to demand the removal of the special constables on campus and the dismissal of Director of Security and Parking Services Glenn De Caire, who has a history of supporting the highly controversial practice of carding. Students have been advocating for De Caire’s removal since 2016.
Black students also spent the summer further educating themselves and having difficult conversations with friends, peers and others in their life.
“I actually did summer school in June, July . . . Since I'm in political science, race [is] a topic, especially during this course. I feel like I tried, as a Black person, to educate some of my fellow peers about what we experience,” explained fourth-year student and Women and Gender Equity Network Research Coordinator, Shae Owen.
Online, many students responded to McMaster’s statements on Floyd’s death and anti-Black racism at the university with demands that they fire De Caire. Students were quick to point out that McMaster’s statements did little to address Black students’ concerns and calls for action.
Both current and former students took to social media to share their experiences of racism at McMaster. Canadian football player and former McMaster student, Fabion Foote, tweeted about the systemic racism he experienced at McMaster, which was met with support from other Black McMaster students, alumni and faculty.
However, while students were generally glad to see increased awareness, many worried that it was performative or fleeting.
“Doing nothing is no longer acceptable. However, reposting on social media is classified as hardly doing anything, because it lacks your personal tone and influence,” wrote the Silhouette Production Editor and Black Students Association Photographer Sybil Simpson in a June 2020 Silhouette article.
Effects on mental health and academics
While Black students were at the forefront of the activism, many also found the summer and current academic year overwhelming. Students didn’t get to take a break from their everyday lives to grieve, having to continue to work, attend summer school classes and study for tests.
“In Nigeria — this was in October — there were killings of peaceful protesters . . . and that was very close to home. Things don't necessarily slow down. When all of this is happening, it's not like school pauses. You still have deadlines. I used my MSAF for the first time in four years last semester, that's how much I just felt like everything was going on. I had to ask for extensions and I couldn't make deadlines,” explained Toni Makanjuola, a fourth-year student and director of logistics with Black Aspiring Physicians of McMaster.
For some students, these feelings of being overwhelmed were compounded by the physical and emotional isolation caused by the pandemic. Students who were not able to go home to see family often had to deal with the devastating news on their own.
“There's a lot going on with just COVID by itself. I couldn't see my family because of COVID and I was already planning to see them. I think I mentioned I'm an international student and my parents live abroad and my family's kind of dispersed. So it was definitely a lonely time,” said Makanjuola.
“There's a lot going on with just COVID by itself. I couldn't see my family because of COVID and I was already planning to see them. I think I mentioned I'm an international student and my parents live abroad and my family's kind of dispersed. So it was definitely a lonely time.”
Toni Makanjuola, director of logistics with Black Aspiring Physicians of McMaster
Moreover, Black students expressed how the summer of 2020 changed their relationships. Students reported that they got closer to Black family members and friends as well as non-Black allies. On the other hand, relationships fractured with those in their lives that failed to check-in or speak out.
“I found myself being like, “okay, I can't actually be friends with this person, even if they make a racist joke like here and there.” That’s now too much for me. It wasn't too much before, but now that everything's become more extreme, my barriers have to become more extreme,” said Aaron Parry, a fourth-year student and promotions executive on the Black Students’ Association.
Response to university initiatives
During the summer, McMaster put out several statements, some of which addressed how the university intends to tackle anti-Black racism on campus. While none of these intended actions included firing De Caire as students had demanded, some positive actions included the accelerated hiring of Black faculty, the hiring of an anti-Black racism education coordinator and the announcement of a Black student services office.
“In terms of the hiring, I think that was extremely needed because personally, I'm in my fourth year, and this was like the first year that I've had Black professors and that's because I'm taking history . . . I'm interested in research right so [when I found a potential Black supervisor], I emailed her. I was so excited because I knew she wasn't there before. I got to share a research idea with her. But I don't know that I would have felt as comfortable emailing someone else,” said Makanjuola.
“In terms of the hiring, I think that was extremely needed because personally, I'm in my fourth year, and this was like the first year that I've had Black professors and that's because I'm taking history . . .
TONI MAKANJUOLA, DIRECTOR OF LOGISTICS WITH BLACK ASPIRING PHYSICIANS OF MCMASTER
However, the fact that many plans were created without the input of Black students begs whether they’ll be helpful at all.
“What little they do give to Black students, it's not even involving Black students that often and then they just kind of surprise us as if it's a gift . . . They design whatever services they think that we want rather than actually actively involving us and actively asking us, “what do you want, what do you need, what are you looking for in a Black Student Services, what do you think will help?”,” explained Parry.
In response to Foote’s tweets, the university organized a Black student-athlete review, which was completed in October and revealed “a culture of systemic anti-Black racism within the department.” However, many students believe the review did not do enough.
Some of those who were involved in the review noted that internal politics played a role in what actually made it into the report and how what was included was worded.
“[W]e know that they have their agenda and it's not in the interest of Black students most of the time. It was definitely disheartening to know that I was a part of a project that was doing that,” said Parry, who was part of the review’s task force.
Many students wondered why the review was restricted only to athletics when many of the stories told are experienced by Black students across campus. Others were eager to know what comes next.
“[The positive changes] are, however, being done so very slowly and with caution; this is unchartered territory for Mac. However, I’m growing increasingly frustrated, not only with the immediate aftermath but with the contents of the review. How could they let this happen? How has it taken so long for someone to finally put their foot down? Moreover, where the heck do we go from here?” wrote McMaster rugby player Payton Shank in a December 2020 Silhouette article.
Creating safe spaces
Support for Black McMaster students this year didn’t come directly from the university, but through the actions of Black students, faculty and staff. For example, on June 11, 2020, Black staff members facilitated a Black student virtual check-in to give students a safe space to share their thoughts and experiences.
Black community members at McMaster took on this work for no pay on top of their work, school and personal lives. Many Black students at McMaster are executives on multiple Black-focused clubs while the African-Caribbean Faculty Association of McMaster offers mentorship and events with no funding from the university. However, because of the importance of these spaces, Black students, staff and faculty feel an obligation to continue.
“We are going to help ourselves and our siblings because there's not a lot of us at McMaster. But it kind of brought us closer together, because during that time a lot of clubs had talks and chill sessions and discussions . . . I even made some new friends that way,” said Owen.
“We are going to help ourselves and our siblings because there's not a lot of us at McMaster. But it kind of brought us closer together, because during that time a lot of clubs had talks and chill sessions and discussions . . . I even made some new friends that way.”
Shae Owen, WGEN Research Coordinator
All year, Black students have been continuing or creating clubs and events to have important conversations and take a break from the constant stress. Some of these new clubs came from discussions among students that occurred last summer, such as the Black BHSc Association.
Established Black clubs used their platforms to empower Black students and support new Black clubs. For example, BAP-MAC chose the theme Black Resilience for their annual iRISE conference and had talks and workshops dedicated to medical racism and health advocacy. In November 2020, the Black Student Mentorship Program held an event for first-year students that focused on coping with loneliness and online school.
“[The summer] also made me a lot more conscious of other people's mental health and that was like one of the reasons [behind] the loneliness event idea. Because of what I was experiencing during the time, I just thought it would be nice to do something where people could speak out and be vulnerable and know that they aren't alone with that during the school year, especially first years,” said Makanjuola, who came up with the idea for the BSMP event.
However, in creating these safe spaces, Black students had to be wary of other students infiltrating these spaces. On Nov. 20, 2020, the Law Aspiring Black Students of McMaster experienced a racist attack during their Zoom LABS Chat. Since then, Black clubs have been trained on how to avoid Zoom bombing and have had to take special care to avoid similar incidents.
“I was shaking because I never expected something like this to happen at a university, especially because we can’t put a face to the name. We don’t know who these people are. So it’s like am I walking amongst people who feel this way, am I sitting in classes with people who could possibly infiltrate a chat?” said Maab Mahmoud, the vice-president of events for LABS, during diversity services’ podcast, Listen Up.
The incident served as a reminder of the importance of safe spaces, but also made it clear that Black students at McMaster are not safe among their peers. This was also seen in the reactions to Black student initiatives such as the new Black engineering student scholarship, where non-Black McMaster students complained that it gave Black students an unfair advantage.
“Mac did the exact same thing where they just go, yeah, here's the scholarship to help Black students. We're going to ignore all that shit about non-Black students attacking Black students . . . we're going to continually let you go to school with and live with your abusers, constantly,” said Parry.
Yet through it all, Black students have continued to be there for one another and create places where they can be seen and heard. We do not know what the future holds and if the university will become a safer space for Black students.
But I know that we are resilient. As I graduate this year, I have faith that the Black students, staff and faculty of tomorrow will continue to make McMaster a place where Black students can succeed.
Holding space for community stories through arts and culture journalism
C/O Anne Nygard
As the year comes to an end, it’s important to take the time to reflect on the past few months. This serves not only as an opportunity to measure and celebrate our successes but also to recognize our shortcomings. It allows us to hold ourselves accountable to the goals and promises we set out in the beginning.
As a section, there are two tenets that have guided our reporting this year: community connections and Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour perspectives.
We have strived to place particular emphasis on the student community, especially during these strange and trying times. The fall semester saw the return of the Humans of McMaster column and in the winter semester, we have been able to report on how events such Mac Dance annual showcase and faculty musicals have been able to proceed in the pandemic.
We also have been thrilled to feature a number of student-led businesses and initiatives. These include but are not limited to Ashantae Handcrafted, Alethea Clark and her mother’s health and beauty business; the Potential Excellence podcast produced by second-year students Brian Osei-Boateng and Tevin Wellington; Desu Beauty, fourth-year Abi Oladesu’s makeup business; The Wig Hall, second-year Inès Ndzana’s wig company and ISAIAH III, fourth-year student Aaron Parry’s clothing brand celebrating African-Canadian identity and culture.
While many of these businesses were born out of student’s newfound time during the pandemic, they also reflect their unique interests and passions.
“Everyone has their own outlets of dealing with [burnout] and [ways] of finding healing and time to actually rest so that you can reenter the world. Art has always been mine for that. I think developing a business that reflects my creative interest and my community interest is kind of a daily reminder to actually do art to be creative and to look after myself,” said Parry.
“Everyone has their own outlets of dealing with [burnout] and [ways] of finding healing and time to actually rest so that you can reenter the world. Art has always been mine for that. I think developing a business that reflects my creative interest and my community interest is kind of a daily reminder to actually do art to be creative and to look after myself.”
Aaron Parry, founder of isaiah iii
Although the traditional Supercrawl celebrations were cancelled, we were still able to cover how the event affected students and also offer insight into how students have been affected as members of the larger Hamilton community during the pandemic.
There are few articles this year that have not alluded to the pandemic. It’s hung over all of us. It is difficult to forget about as we are constantly confronted with reminders of it, including the monotony of learning and working from home and the shift from print to online publication.
It was important to us to help capture how the events of 2020, including the pandemic-affected students and particularly their ability to form community. This desire spurred the creation of the new Sil Time Capsule series as we sought to share the experiences of students in the larger, international community as well.
“2020 has been an eventful and unprecedented year and as a student newspaper, we have a responsibility to acknowledge these events, inform our peers and raise awareness about them. We also have a responsibility to address the ways in which they have affected and influenced not only the wider world but also our own community. This Time Capsule series is one way by which we are working to do justice to the events and issues of this year and their influence on the communities big and small of which we are a part,” explained both Adrian Salopek and myself in the introductory article on the Time Capsule series.
We also attempted to raise awareness about opportunities for students to connect with the McMaster and Hamilton communities even if they were not in the city proper, such as through pen pal initiatives, the Hamilton Public Library and series like virtual nightclub Bedroom Dancing. These initiatives are examples of the way the community has stepped up to support each other and bring some joy to each other during these difficult days.
“I hope that [the attendees] can feel invigorated to move a little more in their own way . . . [and] connect with the community. That’s my ultimate goal,” explained Rachel Mae, also known as DJ Donna Lovejoy, who co-hosted Bedroom Dancing.
We have strived to hold space for the stories and voices of the BIPOC community at McMaster and Hamilton, which have often been underrepresented in the Silhouette’s coverage.
Representation matters and as a section, it’s been extremely important to us to report on stories that reflect the diversity of our community. We've been delighted to feature businesses and organizations like Mixed in Hamilton, Take Up Space, Beads in the Trap, Shop Boho, BlkOwnedHamont and Filipinas of HamONT. However, in the future, we could strive to feature more Indigenous stories in our arts and culture coverage.
Representation matters and as a section, it’s been extremely important to us to report on stories that reflect the diversity of our community. We've been delighted to feature businesses and organizations like Mixed in Hamilton, Take Up Space, Beads in the Trap, Shop Boho, BlkOwnedHamont and Filipinas of HamONT. However, in the future, we could strive to feature more Indigenous stories in our arts and culture coverage.
In our annual Sex and the Steel City special issue, we endeavoured to bring these two tenets of community and BIPOC perspectives together to do justice to the diversity of cultures and communities on campus and in Hamilton.
“I think COVID-19 has made this issue all the more urgent. This pandemic has upended relationships, cancelled sex lives and wreaked havoc on our collective health. But it has also highlighted the importance of these things. We crave connection perhaps more than we ever have. So in this year’s Sex and the Steel City, we have sought to tell stories of connection. Not just stories of romantic relationships, but also stories of the relationships with our family members, our friends and ourselves. I hope you know that you’re part of a community that loves and looks forward to this issue, be it your first Sex and the Steel City or your millionth,” wrote Arts & Culture Editor Rya Buckley in her opening letter for this year’s Sex and the Steel City issue.
We also attempted to revive the Sil’s Black Futures issue and while it was not quite as successful as we had hoped it would be, we were grateful to be able to offer a platform for Hamilton’s first Black Film Festival, the new Black and IPOC-focused clubs making a difference on campus and what McMaster alum Michael Abraham has been up to. Just as these individuals and their initiatives hold space for the Black community, it was important to us to hold space for their stories.
“The reason why I am part of these clubs is because I want to do whatever I can to best support the Black community. Because oftentimes a major issue is just lack of information. People aren’t aware of these opportunities. In being in these roles, we’re able to share different opportunities with the people who are part of our club . . . and just keeping them tapped in because that’s really important. Overall, [I am] just looking for ways to support the community in whatever capacity that I can. That’s why I’m involved in these clubs,” said Anu Popoola, a second-year student involved in the Black Student Mentorship Program and Black Aspiring Physicians McMaster.
The last few weeks in particular we have placed renewed emphasis on sharing BIPOC stories, especially those close to the hearts of section staff. We are grateful to have featured initiatives such as speqtrum’s Food Talks series, Goodbodyfeel’s fueling reclamation initiative and Red Betty Theatre’s Decolonize Your Ears. We’ve also had the privilege to interview businesses such as Thirty Wolves Designs and Verte Beauty.
“It’s overdue. This kind of investment into BIPOC leadership is overdue [and] it’s easy reparations for the folks who are like, “Oh, I’m so overwhelmed. How I can contribute to anti-racist work?” Here you go, here’s a really easy way to do it. Just help fund it, help spread the word, help empower our future changemakers. If we’re fully fueling BIPOC leadership, we are fueling an equitable future,” explained Robin Lacambra, founder and owner of Goodbodyfeel.
While Lacambra was speaking about her studio’s fueling reclamation initiative, the same can be said of all institutions and industries. Being a reporter is a privilege and it’s one we endeavoured to wield wisely as we’ve strived to support our community through this trying year, while also holding space for BIPOC stories and voices in our section.
There is always room for improvement though and hopefully, in the future, the section continues to allow these tenets to guide their work.
We should continue offering hybrid in-person and online schooling even after the pandemic is over
C/O Mikael Kristenson
By: Belinda Tam, Contributor
Having the option of an in-person and online semester for fall 2021 should continue to be offered to students even after the pandemic is over, whether they are domestic or international.
The flexibility that comes with having this option can impact many students’ university experience and since the pandemic began, the university has shown that they have the flexibility that is required to transition from in-person to fully online.
In terms of course content, having the option to re-watch lectures, having lecture slides beforehand and booking time with professors and teaching assistants are three key beneficial things that have helped my own personal learning and development.
During a so-called “regular semester”, some professors do not record their lectures and if students miss that class, it is up to the student to catch up with other resources. This could include getting a peer’s notes, doing the readings or going to office hours.
However, with online learning, most professors post their recorded lectures and as a result, students are more efficient at studying. They can easily refer back to what the professor said during any point in previously recorded lectures for assessments such as assignments, midterms and final exams. This can be a great benefit for students who may miss classes for a variety of reasons.
For international students, having a hybrid option can be beneficial — for example, if an international student opts-in for online school, they won’t have to worry about housing. In addition to the hefty tuition price that international students have to pay, housing is a major cost to consider.
An obvious downside to doing online school; however, is the time difference. But as previously mentioned, since many lectures are being recorded, this could alleviate the burden of staying up at bizarre times.
Going forward, having online courses should always be an option as online learning can be more accessible for disabled and international students. As some students may be unable to leave their homes or aren’t comfortable with in-person learning quite yet, they should have the option to take course content online.
Going forward, having online courses should always be an option as online learning can be more accessible for disabled and international students. As some students may be unable to leave their homes or aren’t comfortable with in-person learning quite yet, they should have the option to take course content online.
In addition, having an option for both online and in-person schooling is something that would benefit everyone when it comes to time management. We only have 24 hours in a day, after all.
If you choose to live off-campus, time must be dedicated to things such as grocery shopping and potentially long commutes. In comparison, having the option to do online school gets rid of that time running errands and allows one to dedicate it to schoolwork.
As vaccinations are still rolling out, it is important to note that students’ situations can vary and change at any moment. By offering both an online and in-person option, we will be able to be more inclusive and accommodating for each students’ situation.
Reflecting on changes to family relationships during the pandemic
Homebound for now over a year, this has been a time of waiting. Waiting for school days back on campus. Waiting for a vaccine. Waiting for lockdown measures to be lifted to see friends and family again. But despite feeling stuck in one place, there has been much change both in the world around us and in ourselves.
One of the many changes I experienced this past year has been my relationship with my family, particularly my aunt. Standing at just under five feet tall, my aunt is the shortest but also the toughest woman I know.
She immigrated to Canada by herself from South Korea when she was just 21 years old and was forced to carve her own path in the world. She went from being a convenience store cashier, to opening her own video rental business, then to working as a nail technician at a salon.
I moved to Canada at the age of eight with my mom and younger sister. My aunt taught my sister and I to not rely on our mom, but to do our chores without being told and to clean up after ourselves.
I still remember one incident when I was still in elementary school and my sister and I forgot to bring our food containers to the sink after school, one of my aunt’s biggest pet peeves. We woke up the following morning to find no lunches on the counter. Instead, we had to make do with our own emergency five-minute bagels with cream cheese for lunch.
My aunt was extremely strict with us but even stricter with herself. Growing up in her hands with my mom always busy at work as a single parent, I adapted her independent mindset. It has been a fundamental part of who I am for as long as I could remember.
There is not a single memory I can recall of seeing my aunt crying. She always bottled up her pain, hardships and struggles and never revealed when she was having a tough time. Everyone thought she was built like an unbreakable soldier.
On Christmas Eve of 2016, my aunt was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer with metastasis. It was a shock to everyone who knew her well. I didn’t understand how a person as fierce and resilient as my aunt could come down with such a vicious disease.
I only later learned that my aunt had suspected something was wrong with her body for some time, but she was too scared to admit it. By the time we figured it out, her x-ray lit up like a Christmas tree. The cancer had metastasized everywhere and all too much to undergo surgery.
When I saw her for the first time quietly laying in her hospital bed and heard her heavy, stertorous breathing, she suddenly didn’t seem all that mighty. That Christmas, for the first time, I saw how frail she was, how vulnerable she was, how afraid she was.
For the first time, our family opened up to our deepest, rawest feelings and emotions. For the first time, all of us were willing to admit that we were scared.
Fast forward five years to today, my aunt is currently receiving palliative care, but to me, she is still the same strong, mighty warrior I saw her as when I was a child. Although I miss many things from before the pandemic, I’m appreciative of the extra time I got to spend with my aunt and family at home.
I was able to be there for my mom every time she had to take my aunt to the hospital. I also learned more about my aunt — her favourite foods, what she was like when she was my age and friends and people she’s met.
I used to resent her for not telling us about her pain, which would’ve helped to get her diagnosis earlier, but I realized that as a female Asian immigrant, her stubbornness and resilience were characteristics necessary for her to survive. Most importantly, I got to reflect on old memories and create new, truly special memories together with the precious time we have left.
We sometimes feel the need to conceal our emotions from our loved ones out of fear of looking weak or to avoid making them worry. However, these days, my family is unafraid to forfeit our emotional barriers and simply be soft, vulnerable people. Especially during times of hardship, grief and uncertainty, there is nothing more powerful than family to give us hope, support and comfort.
Virtual conferences have helped some students feel connected to the community during the pandemic
C/O Alexandra Koch on Pixabay
Each year McMaster University hosts at least half a dozen conferences, most of which are student-run. Most students are guaranteed to attend at least one of these conferences during their time at university. These events bring together like-minded and passionate individuals, offering them a chance to learn more about niche topics and network with a larger community.
As with all campus events this year, conferences have had to adjust their approach due to the pandemic and make the transition to the virtual environment. For many of these conferences — that typically occur during the latter half of the winter semester — planning has been well underway since the summer or early fall.
Similar to the conferences themselves, this planning took place exclusively in the virtual environment, through Zoom calls and group chats, as students sought out new ways to carry forward events that they had loved in past years in these strange times.
Unlike typical in-person conferences which often follow a similar format, each virtual conference this year looked slightly different, with organizers choosing the platform and structure that best suited their needs.
For example, the arts and science program’s New World of Work Forum used Microsoft Teams to host a week-long series of events as opposed to their typical one-day conference. On the other hand, McMaster Model UN used the platform Gatherly to allow delegates to interact in a manner more reminiscent of a typical conference.
“What was really great about [Gatherly] was that you're able to see everybody's faces and in a way you're able to have different floors. So comparing it to where the conference would have taken place, Gatherly had different floors that you could go through and I know delegates who really enjoyed that. So it wasn't like you had to leave a Zoom chat, and then join another one to go see your friends on another committee, you just go through the different floors. It was like a real Model UN conference,” explained Zahra Panju, one of the MacMUN executives.
"So comparing it to where the conference would have taken place, Gatherly had different floors that you could go through and I know delegates who really enjoyed that. So it wasn't like you had to leave a Zoom chat, and then join another one to go see your friends on another committee, you just go through the different floors. It was like a real Model UN conference."
Zahra Panju
MacMUN executive
McMaster Energy Association and McMaster Indigenous Health Movement both used Zoom to host their conferences, allowing students the flexibility to drop in for events.
“[The conference] usually runs from the morning around till 5 o'clock and this year it was on a drop-in basis. We just provided the same Zoom link for the whole day so no one was obligated to stay the whole time. No one really wants to stay in front of a computer from nine to five. We understood that and so we made it a drop-in basis,” Iyah Alideeb, one of the co-presidents of McMaster’s Energy Association.
Many groups also recorded their events so that if students couldn’t attend the live event, they would still be able to attend in a way.
While this flexibility is something that many students appreciated about virtual conferences, it also might have contributed to the lack of connection others felt. Typically, many of these conferences involve formal or informal networking events that allow students to connect with each other as well as professors and other community members. However, such events are difficult in the virtual environment.
“When you have that in-person experience, you're networking with so many people, you're basically surrounded by so many different people who have similar goals and interests to you . . . So that does build a sense of community. I guess that it was a bit harder this year just because not everyone has a camera and you can just drop in and drop out. There wasn't really a networking session, because it made it difficult to balance the professionalism of Zoom and using Zoom Webinar, versus a regular Zoom call that might not spotlight the speakers well enough,” said Alideeb.
When you have that in-person experience, you're networking with so many people, you're basically surrounded by so many different people who have similar goals and interests to you . . . So that does build a sense of community. I guess that it was a bit harder this year just because not everyone has a camera and you can just drop in and drop out.
Iyah Alideeb
co-president of McMaster’s Energy Association
Although networking in the traditional sense was difficult, some students noted that they appreciated the opportunity the virtual format provided to invite speakers from across the country or even around the world, who may not have been able to attend if the event was in person.
“We had a speaker from the Northwest Territories who was able to join us, who we probably wouldn't have been able to have at an in-person conference, just due to costs and travel and things like that. So that was a real positive of the Zoom format,” said Konrad Kucheran, one of the students behind the Indigenous Health Conference.
Furthermore, many students involved in organizing these events felt that they were able to form strong connections with students also on planning committees. There was not only a sense of solidarity as they navigated these new experiences together but also a sense of community and connection as they worked to make the events they cared for so passionately a reality.
“I think definitely within our team — we have a team of eight executive members plus a writing team — so I think it was definitely good community-building for us, facing the challenge together and all figuring out how to run an online conference,” explained Desmond Kennedy, co-president of McMaster Energy Association.
“I would say the conference and more specifically the club that put it on are really one of the only ways this year that I've managed to have that sense of community. Discussion posts in classes and things like that don't really cut it in terms of creating that connection to community and so on. So [the Indigenous Health Conference] has been great for developing community,” said Kucheran.
I would say the conference and more specifically the club that put it on are really one of the only ways this year that I've managed to have that sense of community.
Konrad Kucheran
Indigenous Health Conference Organizer
Students did note though that they were concerned this same sense of community might not have been felt by the conference attendees, for similar reasons as to why networking was difficult. The virtual environment demands a kind of proactive element to forming connections that just isn’t present when you are physically in the same space as others.
“I think, because it was purely online and certain friend groups had joined together, there was still a barrier, where it wasn't like you could just go and talk to them after [the conference] because everyone is just signing out the platform . . . you just left the platform and went on to do your own work,” said Panju.
Organizers also found it difficult to reach students, first-years in particular, noting that not everyone has social media or follows their particular accounts while almost everyone would have been able to view a poster put up in the McMaster University Student Centre.
It’s important to remember that even though it has been just over a year since the pandemic was officially declared, that these events are still new and that we’re all still learning. The hard work and care these students have done to ensure these conferences continued to run as best as possible are commendable. There certainly would have been much less to look forward to and many fewer opportunities to connect without them.
“Because even if you can't reach as many people, those that you do, it'll still have an impact on them. So I think still providing opportunities for people to get involved, even if it's not the year when people are able to as easily get involved, I think that is still an important thing to do,” emphasized Kennedy.
With sports being shut down just over a year ago, Marauders reflect on their last games before the pandemic.
C/O Esra Rakab
It was March 2020, just over a year ago, when McMaster University decided to suspend or cancel all in-person classes, shut down sports and force students out of residences to completely close down its operations at the start of the pandemic.
For student-athletes, many would begin their individual home workouts, which seemed temporary at the time. One year later, this has become the new norm, as teams haven’t had a single game or match since the March 2020 cancellations.
After having missed an entire season, many of these athletes have been looking back at some of their best moments, and what made the 2019-2020 season so special for them.
Declan Sweeney, a pitcher for the McMaster men's baseball team, recalls quite a few memorable moments during their season last year.
“Our first four games we played were [University of Toronto and Ryerson University], and the next day [University of Ottawa and Carleton University], and we ended up going 4-0 in those games. That was the weekend we realized we were going to be one of the better teams that season,” said Sweeney.
“Our first four games we played were [University of Toronto and Ryerson University], and the next day [University of Ottawa and Carleton University], and we ended up going 4-0 in those games. That was the weekend we realized we were going to be one of the better teams that season.”
Declan Sweeney
Sweeney reflected on the year that the team had, mentioning the somewhat frustrating finishes, but also the massive improvements in the team.
“This season was one of those that kinda sucked because we got walked off twice in two of our tournament [elimination] games, but overall it was a very successful season,” said Sweeney.
“We had the [Ontario University Athletics] Cy Young [winner], and the OUA MVP. Along with that, we made a bunch of improvements throughout the team and had a team we felt would be very good for many years. Although it hurt that we lost these two walk-off games on the absolute soul-crushing semifinal games, I felt that as a team we were developing in the right way, and were moving towards becoming the team to beat,” Sweeny said on the high points of the team.
Tyler Kato — a member of the men's wrestling team — had also been reflecting on his past season, but in an attempt to continue improvement.
“I had a bit of a stagnancy with wrestling where I wasn’t seeing the progress I wanted to see . . . I just wasn’t feeling the drive and the fire that I used to,” explained Kato.
Since the season’s end, Kato has worked to rekindle that fire he once had. Kato used the pandemic to continue getting better by working with other world-class wrestlers, which not only helped with fundamental improvements but also the mental aspects of his game.
“For me to wrestle with them [McNeil’s], nitpick their brain all the time, and have the McMaster coaching staff helping me through technique Zoom sessions myself. . . Through what I’ve been doing now, and realizing what world-class wrestling really is, I’ve re-instilled this motivation back into my system,” said Kato on his growth over the past year of training.
“Through what I’ve been doing now, and realizing what world-class wrestling really is, I’ve re-instilled this motivation back into my system.”
Tyler Kato
Another athlete who spoke out about his last season was Justice Allin, a running back for the men’s football team. After the successful year the team had, even bringing home the Yates Cup after snapping Western University’s 29-game winning streak, there was a lot to reflect on with many emotional moments for the team.
The last game of the season for the team was against the University of Calgary Dinos in the Mitchell Bowl, one of two semifinal games for U Sports football.
“Going into it we felt really good. We were prepared mentally and physically, and we went out there and played the best game that we could’ve. Due to some self-inflicted injuries — we like to call it — we lost the game. It was emotional, as is every last game, but for some of the guys you’ve grown up with and played against for a couple of years, to see them play their last game was emotional for me, and for everybody,” said Allin.
Despite a frustrating finish to the season, Allin still reflects on the year fondly, as one would expect after a Yates Cup victory.
“The tournament [Yates Cup] was probably the biggest thrill that I’ve ever had . . .Going into it — from the beginning of the year really — we were thinking, “we are gonna win the Yates.” We had our goal set for the year, and we won the Yates,” stated Allin.
“The tournament [Yates Cup] was probably the biggest thrill that I’ve ever had.”
Justice Allin
Allin reflects on the 2019-2020 season as a very successful one for the football team, explaining how significant of an achievement a Yates Cup victory was, and how well the team played to get there.
“On a team level, that’s the best we’ve ever done since I’ve been here . . . This year was very team-oriented instead of an I. We were all individuals part of a greater scheme. Everybody got together collectively under one idea, and that was to win as a team, and we got the job done,” said Allin.
Hamilton-based artist Bhairavi Jathar shares thoughts on painting, productivity and the pandemic
C/O Bhairavi Jathar
Bhairavi Jathar is a Hamilton-based artist with a passion for painting. Inspired by the impressionists who painted outdoors, Jathar particularly partakes in plein air painting. She has participated in live art shows across Ontario and her art was recently displayed in the Hamilton Artists Inc.’s window activation series.
Jathar grew up in Pune, India and first learned the basics of drawing and painting from her mother, who is also an artist. She went on to study commercial art and advertising and worked for many years as a graphic designer and illustrator.
“While [completing my studies], I realized that my passion for painting was still there. So I continued painting outdoors and I was always surrounded by great teachers, artists, friends and colleagues . . . so I also learned from them and that's how my painting career started,” explained Jathar.
"While [completing my studies], I realized that my passion for painting was still there. So I continued painting outdoors and I was always surrounded by great teachers, artists, friends and colleagues . . . so I also learned from them and that's how my painting career started."
Bhairavi Jathar
She also travelled with her husband as part of his job and during these travels, she had the opportunity to study French art. Jathar has always loved painting outside and it was also during these travels she had the chance to try plein air paintings. Later she pursued a master of art to get more insight about Indian and western art.
Jathar immigrated to Canada in 2014 and continued to work as a graphic designer for a few years. Then in 2017, she decided to become a full-time artist. During these years, she began volunteering at an art centre that hosted live painting events.
These events are often paired with an auction, so as the artists are painting in front of their audience, the audience is also bidding on the paintings being created.
“These events are very, very interactive because you get to talk to your audience and they can give you feedback because they see you painting and it gives you motivation,” explained Jathar.
"These events are very, very interactive because you get to talk to your audience and they can give you feedback because they see you painting and it gives you motivation."
Bhairavi Jathar
Jathar began participating in these shows at the art centre but went on to participate in others across Ontario. In recent years, she has successfully participated in, juried and curated exhibitions in art galleries in Brantford, Brampton, Hamilton, Mississauga, Paris, St. Catharines and Toronto.
Unfortunately, the pandemic not only shuttered many galleries but also put many of the live events Jathar enjoyed on hold indefinitely. Despite these setbacks, Jathar noted the last year has been her most productive.
Over the last few months, she has been working on a series of paintings depicting important heritage buildings in Hamilton and some of the surrounding towns in Ontario.
“Every city has one building which is prominent there and that city is known by that [building’s] old architecture and so those things are also captured in my paintings . . . every painting is from a different city, in different seasons. So even though it's the same spot, in every season, it looks different,” Jathar explained.
Jathar hopes her art brings people some joy but more broadly she hopes that whatever the scene may be, people are able to connect to it and see something of themselves in her art.
Jathar hopes her art brings people some joy but more broadly she hopes that whatever the scene may be, people are able to connect to it and see something of themselves in her art.
Moving forward she hopes to do a series of more conceptual art around the themes of immigration and balancing different cultures.
“As an immigrant, how do I feel and how my culture is still here . . . and because my kids are growing up here, I always feel that I need to adjust with some things, which I never faced earlier. I grew up in a different atmosphere and my kids are growing [up] in a different atmosphere, so I always try to balance those things. That’s what I want to show [in this series],” explained Jathar.
Jathar has also been offering virtual art lessons for children and adults over the last few months and offered some words of encouragement for students.
“I would [tell them] keep doing what they want to do and don't get distracted with what others are doing. You keep doing your work, your art, because sometimes what happens is we see others are doing something different and sometimes we feel that maybe we are the odd one out, but don't think that way. You keep doing whatever you're doing,” Jathar said.
Inspired by Joni Mitchell and quarantine, Mac student Zoé Freeman created an album all by herself
C/O Zoé Freeman
By: Serena Habib, Contributor
Meet Zoé Freeman, also known as Zoé Alexis. A fourth-year student in the arts and science program, Freeman’s album River was released in December 2020. The process of single-handedly creating an album might seem daunting to most people, but Freeman saw it as a challenge that she felt compelled to undertake.
Music has been a part of Freeman’s life for as long as she can remember. From harmonizing to songs on the radio and recording covers in her basement to performing in choirs and musical theatre troupes in Toronto, Freeman grew up singing. However, she was always afraid to write her own music.
“Music was always a thing in my house so I actually have my parents to thank for that. I got my first little music player when I was seven or eight and I just listened to the same 12 Beatles songs over and over and over again,” said Freeman.
Music was always a thing in my house so I actually have my parents to thank for that. I got my first little music player when I was seven or eight and I just listened to the same 12 Beatles songs over and over and over again.
Zoé Freeman
Her fear of writing music changed when she moved to university. While going through a challenging time during first year, Freeman attempted to write her own melodies. However, she found it to be a discouraging process.
Freeman compared songwriting to flipping pancakes. Practice makes perfect, or in her case, a song she’s happy with. Through practice, the title track of Freeman’s album was born, with each drum beat created electronically and manually placed into the spellbinding track.
Freeman gained confidence while singing with an intense competitive music group in England while on exchange in her third year. When she returned home due to the COVID-19 pandemic, she began a new musical journey.
“I was living completely alone during the first month or two of quarantine and I didn't see a single person, not even my family. So I went into overdrive. And I couldn't stop writing . . . The only reason I even decided to release an album was honestly because I liked the challenge. I thought to myself, “I wonder if I could write, record, produce, edit, mix and release an album, all by myself.” And once the seed was planted, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It became something I had to do to . . . prove to myself that I can actually do it,” said Freeman.
I was living completely alone during the first month or two of quarantine and I didn't see a single person, not even my family. So I went into overdrive. And I couldn't stop writing.
Zoé Freeman
Using the same microphone, mix boxes and editing software she’s had since the age of 12, Freeman was determined to create the album on her own. In her writing, she intertwines memories to make her songs both ambiguous and relatable. This conception of memory is echoed in the childhood photos used as the artwork for her music.
“It was fun for me because I wrote about everything right now. I wrote about things that had happened years ago. I wrote about new things that were happening during quarantine. I wrote about things that people didn't even know I knew about,” explained Freeman.
Freeman’s favourite songwriter and greatest inspiration is Joni Mitchell, who invented her own type of guitar tuning and chord progression structure by ear because her polio prevented her from using traditional methods. Joni Mitchell’s story has helped Freeman overcome insecurities surrounding her own unorthodox way of creating and playing music by ear.
Freeman begins with the guitar, memorizing finger placements for her desired sounds and then designs a mental image of the other instruments. She then records voice memos of herself singing accompaniments and either send them to friends or constructs the harmonies herself. River is a tribute to Joni Mitchell’s song of the same title and the song “Oh Joni” pays homage to the singer as well.
“Part of her being my biggest musical inspiration is that it's made me realize there is no right way to play music. You can sort of just do it any way that you want and, as long as you end up getting the result that you want, it doesn't really matter how you got there,” said Freeman.
You can sort of just do it any way that you want and, as long as you end up getting the result that you want, it doesn't really matter how you got there.
Zoé Freeman
The end product of Freeman’s journey is an exquisite collection of music that stems from personal experience. However, it may be a while before fans have a new album to listen to. Freeman does not feel compelled to continue publicly releasing her music.
“I would love to be one of those people who leads a professional career, but plays in a band on the side, like that's my dream . . . Music has always been and will always be sort of something that I do for myself,” Freeman explained.
Freeman is heading to law school next year, but she plans to continue sharing her music with loved ones. Music has allowed her to connect with friends and family through hardship and it has been there for in times of loneliness. Regardless of whether she releases more songs, Freeman hopes that listening to River provides people with a sense that they are not alone.
Online school is beneficial during a time of uncertainty
Graphic by Esra Rakab / Production Coordinator
By: Ardena Bašić, Contributor
With the COVID-19 crisis, most schools worldwide have had to revert to online learning for sustained periods of time. For postsecondary institutions specifically, this means lectures have been conducted via Zoom, Microsoft Teams or Webex. Proctoring software such as Respondus has been used for exams and there have been significant changes to how and what kind of content is delivered.
All things considered, many individuals have chosen to halt their education until things are back to normal. However, considering that the duration of this pandemic is still unknown, this is likely doing more harm than good.
When you take school out of your schedule, particularly given this situation where we’re in a pandemic, there are not many other activities to fill it. A lot of work is now done remotely and other jobs that are still in-person maintain some risk of catching the virus.
Otherwise, leisure activities like going to the gym, movie theatre or even restaurants with friends neither fill one’s day nor are constantly available in this turbulent environment. Keeping school in the mix can at least contribute to some form of routine, which can be invaluable in such arduous times.
Keeping school in the mix can at least contribute to some form of routine, which can be invaluable in such arduous times.
Moreover, learning, in general, carries a multitude of benefits — COVID or not. At McMaster University specifically, professors are still managing to deliver their course content in engaging and clear ways. Yes, there can be some Zoom fatigue, but instructors are highly aware of that and do their best to accommodate for that during class time, such as providing breaks in class for students. Many instructors have also been more lenient with different forms of testing and applying content, meaning that there are more — albeit different — ways to prove that you are learning.
With online school specifically, no matter whether you like it or not, you will still obtain an abundance of new, useful skills. Organization, for one, can be more difficult for some when navigating through multiple different platforms for classes.
However, this forces you to challenge your previous systems and find new, potentially better ways to stay on track. Furthermore, tech is the future: getting better acquainted with spending a major part of your life on it is good preparation for whatever the future may hold.
Lastly, pandemic life is tough. There are rarely any constants that you can rely on and it seems like every day brings a new challenge to overcome. Yet, by committing to your education during such a difficult time, you are investing in your future self and showing you and those around you just how resilient and strong you can be. If anything, take pride in what you have been able to accomplish during these unprecedented times and look back when you need a reminder of your abilities.
Yet, by committing to your education during such a difficult time, you are investing in your future self and showing you and those around you just how resilient and strong you can be.
With everything that’s been said, there are good reasons for gap years. If you are struggling and you know that your mental health would benefit from the time off, don’t be afraid to do so. Ultimately, as it is often said, filling our own cup is just as important as pouring from it. You know what is best for you.
However, if you are considering taking a year off solely because school is online, take some time to reconsider that idea. Overall, deeply considering your reasons for taking some time off your education can help you make the best decision for your future.
