As midterms lurk in the dark, spooky season is the perfect time for students to take a mental break and recharge with creativity and community
It is no surprise that most students feel overwhelmed and overworked during midterm season as assignments, tests and other commitments start to pile up. With a to-do list longer than the Tim Hortons line at MUSC, Halloween offers the perfect opportunity to take a well-deserved break and indulge in light-hearted traditions with those around you.
While your academic commitments might take priority, Halloween is the perfect excuse to schedule social time and prevent burnout from a hectic time at university. Short and intentional breaks away from academics have proven to be an effective strategy in maintaining good cognition and comprehension long-term.
Short and intentional breaks away from academics have proven to be an effective strategy in maintaining good cognition and comprehension long-term.
Although taking a day off might seem disruptive to your academic routine, it ultimately enhances knowledge retention and mental health, benefiting students in the long run. Breaks such as Halloween allow students to recollect and organize themselves for any upcoming academic demands, improving well-being, productivity and performance.
Aside from academics, the most obvious perk of Halloween is the social events that allow students to interact with the McMaster community. Halloween socials and activities across campus are an opportunity to reconnect with friends and meet new people in creative settings. Themed-social activities such as costume contests, movie nights and scavenger hunts foster social interactions and bring students together.
Halloween socials and activities across campus are an opportunity to reconnect with friends and meet new people in creative settings
These events are particularly impactful for first-year students. While working to solidify study strategies and survive their first round of midterms, they can often feel isolated, especially during stressful times when they are away from home.
Halloween also serves as a creative outlet for many. Planning Halloween costumes, decorating your dorm, or simply walking past the Halloween decor in William's Fresh Café at the Health Sciences Centre brings a sense of festivity. It encourages students to partake in campus events and savour these little moments throughout university life.
With academics being a constant part of a student's life, Halloween offers students more than just a holiday. It is a reminder for students to take a break, connect with others and tap into creativity outside of academic commitments. Taking a small amount of time to enjoy Halloween on campus can make all the difference to help students balance their well-being alongside the academic grind. Take the time off to recharge for the remainder of the semester and enjoy the full scope of university life beyond academics.
While having friends on campus contributes to a great university experience, there are a multitude of benefits to maintaining long distance friendships across universities
The pandemic greatly impacted how students make friendships during their university careers. According to Reddit user u/Bbso1229, “COVID took that friendship building experience away from me and everyone else in my first year.” They further elaborated that although extroverted, they have difficulty creating friendships due to pre-established friend groups formed during the pandemic.
Some McMaster students have noticed the similar struggles that are faced by commuter students and have created the McMaster Society for Off-Campus Students. This society aims to cater to the needs of commuter students and helps them feel included within the McMaster community. McMaster SOCS aims to help commuter students form friendships with those who can relate to their experiences.
Unfortunately, for commuter students or individuals who choose to live off-campus during their first year, the experience of u/Bbso1229 is much more commonly shared than you may think. It is difficult for individuals to make friends during a time of limited social interaction. It proves even more complicated when most of the individuals they interact with on campus have their own established friend groups.
As a former commuter student myself, it has been difficult to make friends with peers during undergrad. This especially rings true if you are attending a different university than your high school peers. On a positive note, the difficulty of making new friendships during the pandemic has lead to some creating stronger bonds within pre-existing friendships. Many individuals, including myself, have turned to childhood friendships for support.
As a former commuter student myself, it has been difficult for students such as myself to make friends with peers during undergrad.
Though distance may make it seem difficult to maintain old friendships, one of the largest benefits of possessing a friendship with a student who attends another university is the professional opportunities, such as research opportunities or jobs, that it could expose you. While McMaster is a research-intensive institute, it could sometimes be difficult for students to secure a position due to the popularity of student-sought research opportunities.
Fortunately, expanding your friend group can also expand your network; your friends could introduce you to their network, thus giving you access to more connections.
Fortunately, expanding your friend group can also expand your network; your friends could introduce you to their network, thus giving you access to more connections.
With an expanded network, students have many more opportunities to connect with individuals who are researching or working in the student’s subject of interest. Although this may sound difficult to accomplish since you do not attend that university, your friend’s own network is now shared with you, allowing you to also explore the potential connections within their network.
Additionally, inter-university friendships do not necessarily result in the same degree of competition between friends and instead spark encouragement due to the lack of similarity in work. Since courses are not structured identically across universities, the variance in coursework downregulates a competitive nature in students. It can be difficult to compare yourself to your friend when you are following a different course breakdown.
It can be difficult to compare yourself to your friend when you are following a different course breakdown.
Although having a friend group at your university can better integrate you into the community and make you feel at home where you study, it certainly does not hurt to expand your network to different universities. With the numerous benefits of having friends living far from you, it may be best to rekindle the childhood friendships that may have fell apart since beginning university.
Internet friendships made during the pandemic are just as important as in-person ones
C/O Ben Collins/Unsplash
By: Anrya Foubert, Contributor
Friendships can be complicated and messy, but they can also be the greatest things to exist. The friends you have can bring you more joy than you ever thought possible.
Yet, during the pandemic and a large transition such as going to university for the first time, it can feel next to impossible to make friends and connections. But thanks to the internet, we are still able to spend time with people that we would be isolated from otherwise.
Many of us probably grew up with the message that “you shouldn't talk to strangers online because it could be dangerous” from our parents or guardians.
But these days, internet friends are becoming more and more important as it connects others while we all have to remain home and provides us with ways to connect with people all around the world.
But these days, internet friends are becoming more and more important as it connects others while we all have to remain home and provides us with ways to connect with people all around the world.
Of course, they can be just as important as real in-person friendships, but many people may believe this is not the case because internet friends can't really interact physically.
The people you chat with online aren't exactly people you can easily go to get food with, have a game night, bonfire or even just a general party. Since they likely live far away and you can't really physically interact with them, internet friendships can feel less real. They can feel as if the person almost doesn't really exist even if you know that they really do.
It may be the subliminal messaging many of us grew up with, the stories of catfishing and lying to others about who you are via the internet, that made us believe that internet friendships aren’t as “valid” or “real.”
However, many people are turning to internet friendships as a way to make new friends during the pandemic. As a first-year student, I haven't been able to meet any of my classmates in person yet but I've been able to create connections with them online. It has still been weird that we haven't gotten to see the people we spend large amounts of time with each week in person.
Even the people I’m moving in with later this year are people I haven't met in person before. But I still am friends with those people and others because of the connection via the magical place we call the internet.
Even the people I’m moving in with later this year are people I haven't met in person before. But I still am friends with those people and others because of the connection via the magical place we call the internet.
Platforms such as Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and Snapchat (to name a few) are amazing ways to meet new people. By using social media platforms, you can meet people that have similar interests to your own.
Some of my strongest friendships have been with people I met over the internet. I have a group of friends based in Australia while I reside in Canada and in all honesty, they are the type of people I have been trying to surround myself with for years.
I had long outgrown my peer group in high school and had ended up surrounding myself with not the best influences or most supportive people about halfway through Grade 11.
For some odd reason, these people I met online and only really started talking to on a regular basis at the beginning of quarantine have somehow been the most supportive people I have met and have helped me in more ways than they could ever possibly know. They are just as valued to me as those who are geographically closer to me and I’ve planned on visiting/going on exchange to Australia for some time.
Now I know that if I should go across the globe to study for a while, I will have people that I know there. While I won’t be able to meet them face-to-face for some time, I look forward to the day I can and I know that my friendship with them is valid, even if we can't do things that in-person friends can.
Now I know that if I should go across the globe to study for a while, I will have people that I know there. While I won’t be able to meet them face-to-face for some time, I look forward to the day I can and I know that my friendship with them is valid, even if we can't do things that in-person friends can.
It’s important to remember that outside of a pandemic, meeting people on the internet is still a completely valid and great way to foster new friendships. We may rely on it more now than ever due to global-scale lockdowns, but they still existed before and will continue to exist after the pandemic.
A guide to staying connected during these trying times
As Hamilton moves into the heart of the winter months and a stricter lockdown removes the option to have socially-distant visits or other outdoor activities, many are looking for new ways to stay connected with loved ones.
Over the break, my siblings and I spent a lot of time thinking about other ways we could safely spend with our loved ones, beyond the typical Zoom call. Below are a few fun activities that we came up with that will hopefully help us all get through these next few difficult weeks.
BOOK CLUBS AND EXCHANGES
Many book clubs have moved online over the last few months, while new ones have also been popping up. If you don’t want to join an established book club, you could also start your own with your family or friends, giving you both something to do and talk about the next time you chat.
Similarly, you could also participate in a book exchange with a loved one. You each send the other a book that you’ve enjoyed recently. To make it more personal, you could maybe include some notes inside sharing well wishes or your thoughts on the story.
Additionally, this kind of exchange could work for almost anything else that you and your loved ones enjoy as well, such as music, podcasts and recipes.
GAMES
Online games, such as Among Us and Codenames, have become incredibly popular over the last year. Implementing a game night, or even perhaps a tournament can be a nice alternative to the typical Zoom call as well as something a bit more light-hearted and fun.
Trivia nights can be fun as well. There also a number of trivia games that you could play over Zoom, or you could create your own tailored to the interests of you and your loved ones!
LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Many have used their new-found time during the pandemic to learn new skills, but why not do this with a loved one? Maybe your friend is excellent at coding, or your grandmother is an amazing knitter and you’ve always wanted to learn. You could each teach one another something or learn something entirely new together!
Many local libraries offer resources for learning a variety of skills. Depending on the skill in question there are also a number of specific resources readily available online. Some local crafting businesses, such as Handknit Yarn Studio offer resources and tutorials on their websites as well.
Language learning especially can be a great option as it requires minimal tools and you’re able to practice together.
PEN PALS
Change up the method of staying in touch! Zoom calls can become draining after a while and most everyone loves to receive letters.
Or instead of sending letters, send postcards either through a service such as Postcards From Anywhere or by creating your own using online templates. While the former can make a great talking point, the latter can be especially nice for grandparents and far away relatives who may not have any recent photos of you.
SHARE A MEAL
Order some food, potentially from the same restaurant, and eat together. As well, some local businesses, like Tea Amo, offer small platters or “lunchboxes” that can be ordered ahead of time and then enjoyed together during a call.
You could also cook or bake something together over a call. You could each make your favourite dishes or exchange recipes. Maybe try teaching a friend to make one of your favourite desserts or ask your grandmother to teach you some family recipes.
Regardless, whatever ways you find to keep connections with loved ones, be creative and considerate. Just as much as you think about things that you enjoyed together before the pandemic, try to think about new things as well. It won’t necessarily be the same as before but that doesn’t mean that it can’t still be something good.
Exam season is now upon us and it’s time to form a strategy to tackle December. The most important part of that strategy is finding a way to take care of yourself during this month of studying. Be sure to take some breaks between your study sessions. Take our quiz to get some suggestions on how to spend these precious breaks.
[wp_quiz id="36279"]
[spacer height="20px"][thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
[adrotate banner="16"]
[feather_share show="twitter, google_plus, facebook, reddit, tumblr" hide="pinterest, linkedin, mail"]
By: Sasha Dhesi
Recently an old classmate sent me a private message to wish me a happy birthday. The message reminded me of how I felt when our friendship petered out. We had a similar sense of humour and shared mutual interests, but as time went on, we found that although we still enjoyed each other’s company, we weren’t running in the same social or professional circles, and fell out of touch. I struggled with losing her, especially because, for all intents and purposes, we were still friends. How was I supposed to deal with our relationship just dying like that? What does it say about us that our relationship ended?
There’s a lot of pressure during your early 20s to find that group of friends that will follow you throughout your life. We’re taught that these are the most important years in our lives to build relationships that last. Every once in awhile, this manifests on anonymous posts, like on Spotted at Mac, where an unnamed upper year stresses over not having a clique despite being at the school for multiple years. While this sentiment is understandable, there are legitimate reasons to why you should occasionally let a relationship die, as opposed to working to save it.
There is nothing wrong with hoping that your social circle will follow you through life; the problem is failing to comprehend that you and those around you are going to change. The person you’re going to be one year from now is going to have different expectations and needs than the person you are this year. Sometimes the people in your life change with you, but more often than not, they diverge onto their own paths and can’t give you what you need.
By going into a relationship with the assumption that it’s going to last a very long time, you project your own needs and desires onto a person, which they may not share. In doing so, you stop treating people as people, and instead as objects to satisfy what you imagine your future should look like. Not only is this unfair to your partner, but it’s unfair to you. You should be in a relationship with someone who wants to give you what you need, as opposed to waiting for someone else to change.
Likewise, by assuming you have to remain in a relationship with someone, you run the risk of remaining in a harmful relationship. You are always going to change, but some people may not want you to. My eighth-grade orchestra teacher liked to tell us that “misery loves company.” Although he just meant we should avoid kids who skip band practice, it still struck a chord with me. Every so often, you will run into people who promote unhealthy behaviour and will want you to conform to their desires even if it hurts you.
A lot of people in university feel pressured to stay in these sorts of relationships because they believe that they’ll lose out on that ideal group of friends you hear about in shows like Friends and How I Met Your Mother. But these are the exception to the rule, and in the case of TV shows, completely made up. Chances are, you’re not going to meet your best friend or true love during your first year of university. You’re probably not going to meet them for a very long time, actually. Psychologically speaking, the brain doesn’t finish maturing until you’re 25, if not later. This is particularly true of the critical decision-making portion of the brain. By this standard, you’re not going to be ready to make any long-term decisions until you’re at least two to three years out of your undergraduate degree.
By going into a relationship with the assumption that it’s going to last a very long time, you project your own needs and desires onto a person, which they may not share. In doing so, you stop treating people as people, and instead as objects to satisfy what you imagine your future should look like.
So where does that leave us? Should you just treat every relationship as casual? The best way to balance your desire to change with your relationships is to let your relationships die when they need to. There will be times when someone you used to speak to everyday stops responding to your texts. There will also be times when you begin to dread going certain places because you have to see this person.
The key to maintaining everyone’s dignity and self-respect during these instances is to understand that it’s completely normal for relationships to die during this time in our lives. Be clear about your intentions with someone, and let them know if you’re not happy or satisfied with your relationship. From here, you can either work on your relationship or end it.
We are going through monumental changes, and different circumstances can mean different people are needed in your life. Some people may not be emotionally equipped to handle what you’re going through and vice versa. Treat this as a moment for self-reflection and not as a personal failure.
As for my friend and I, we’re still on good terms. Our relationship may have fizzled out, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about each other. What it ultimately says about us is that we were mature enough to understand that we grew apart. You will meet a lot of people and many of your relationships will die. It’s not a negative reflection on either of you, but a reflection of growth. Just make sure you wish them a happy birthday, at the very least.
Photo Credit: Matt Mullenweg
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
My entire weekend was not spent writing in the unmade comfort of my bed as I am now. It was in part spent taking a number in the emergency room entrance to St. Joseph’s.
My arrival had been preceded by a not insignificant amount of whining on my part, countered by the steely caring of my housemate, hell-bent on my health. Though accustomed to my insistent independence, this time she’d dug in her heels and forcibly accompanied me to the ER.
In the second waiting room there was a young couple, a man and woman, across from us; the man making jokes despite his possible hip fracture, the woman laughing earnestly. But when he was looking away, I saw her steal glances of compassion so sincere I felt guilty to have seen them.
I remembered an experience I’d had in November of last year, when I was spelunking in Kentucky. It was the first cave of the trip, and my group was made up of myself and about eight other people. About two-thirds through we were about three-thirds covered in mud, and making our way down a somewhat tall space. By tall I mean I could stand up straight, which I was doing, holding onto a ridge of limestone as I waited for the person in front of me to move forward. All of a sudden, my feet slipped in the mud (affectionately called “peanut butter mud”) and I fell onto my side.
Now I’m pretty accustomed to falling, so my legs and hips were fine, but I felt a slight twinge in my left hand’s fingers. I looked down at them, but the palm was so completely covered in mud that it was a rather useless exercise. A few steps later though, my suspected cut had revealed itself as a totally real cut by trying to bleed all over the cave wall. I asked to have the first-aid kit passed back to me, and apologized for the holdup.
Resultantly drawing the attention of two trip supervisors and a fellow student, I grudgingly realized that given the severity and location of the cut, I couldn’t clean and bandage it by myself. As they dotted cheerfully over me like a trio of older brothers, I felt a bit of my reluctance melt away.
I remembered a time a year before that, my first time getting really sick in first year. In between classes I was grabbing some food with my housemate-to-be and she brought me to her residence’s common room so we could eat in peace. I’d bought a hashbrown to cheer me up, but couldn’t eat it I was feeling so unwell. I asked if she would sing to me, “Wave Over Wave” by The Great Big Sea.
I’m not used to accepting help, whether it be forced upon me, because I simply can’t do it or because I’ve reached a point of complete exhaustion and defeat. I’ve described myself as “stubbornly independent,” but it’s probably just a euphemism for a pride that’s somehow bruised by helping hands.
I know that’s silly. I know there’s real strength in being able to reach out, ask for help, rely - even just sometimes - on someone other than yourself. And more than that, I think about how much I like helping the people I like, and am trying to really realize that maybe they like helping me too, and I should give them that chance.
In the emergency waiting room that night, I turned to my housemate and asked if she remembered singing to me, that time in first year as I’d clutched an uneaten hashbrown. She said that yes, she did. And smiled.
@samwisegodfrey
You had a job pressing orange price stickers on discount bottles of shampoo, a nametag pinned to your shirt tucked in to your bellybutton-high pants. In your free time, you re-organized socks at home and read your mother’s copy of 50 Shades of Grey. And be honest, you liked it a little.
This is how you spent your summer.
But your friends don’t have to know that.
Successfully fool those around you into thinking you spent a rocking four months with these simple tips:
Work With It
Your mind-numbing job has left you with a glaze over your eyes - use this to your advantage. By nodding slowly when your friends talk about their summer adventures, your now-permanent look of boredom will make you appear blasé, nonchalant and other vaguely French words.
Waste Money
Buy something unnecessarily expensive to flaunt during your friendly reunions. The gaudy items will make it seem as though you’ve been living large all summer. Your old friends will assume you befriended celebrities in Silicon Valley, and you might make a few new ones, attracted by your shiny baubles. You can afford to splurge this one time, seeing as the only thing you spent money on this summer was clearance-shelf chocolate.
Fake It
Somehow, the flickering fluorescents and perpetually-closed blinds have left your skin pasty and white. This is a problem, because if there’s one thing that says “bikini babes and beach volleyball,” it’s a tan. Actually: tan lines. Take some self-tanner and apply it around your sleeve, shorts, and watch edges. It doesn’t have to be perfect, heck it doesn’t even have to be good. It just has to show everyone how much time you spent soaking in the rays. If you’re feeling real crafty, put self-tanner on your face, outlining those Ray-Bans you totally lost on that girl’s sailboat.
Lie Through Your Teeth - Literally
“Well Venice was alright, I found it rather droll compared to the rich culture of Malaysian villages.” “The yacht was at least as big as BSB, I swear, when you include the dolphin sanctuary out the back.” “Interestingly enough, it turns out the hot-tub could hold another three people.”
“It was great.”
All these lies and more are at the tip of your cortex. Just make sure you keep your stories straight: was the redhead the one you skydived or snorkelled with?
Remember: as you spew these tales, just keep smiling. It’ll guard their trust.
At the end of the day, you’ll have spent a productive, useful summer avoiding skin cancer, but your friends will think you’re pretty much Batman. Batman, who spent his summer fanning himself with hundos in the British Not-Quite-Virgin Islands.
