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By: Jennifer La Grassa
Last week, I locked myself in a bathroom stall on the second floor of the student center and cried. I had just gotten off the phone with my best friend who incoherently informed me through her uncontrollable sobbing that she had to put her dog, Daisy, down later that night. The combination of hearing her breaking down on the other end and the memories that flashed through my head of all that Daisy had been through with us turned me into a crying mess as well.
I was ashamed to be crying for a dog who wasn’t even my own and didn’t understand why, days later, I still felt a lingering sense of grief. When this same friend had broken up with her boyfriend she had been upset, but it wasn’t even comparable to the grief I heard her express over the loss of Daisy.
For those of you who have never been a pet owner, know that losing them is equivalent to the loss of a family member. It seems dramatic of me to be making that comparison, but until you care for and love an animal everyday for its entire life you won’t understand what it’s like. This is especially true for pets like an indoor dog or cat that are constantly involved in the life of their owner; no longer having them around can be emotionally devastating.
Pets provide companionship and love when no one else can or is around to do so. It is through watching television with them, petting them and burying your face in them for comfort that we create a psychological and social bond with them. They are there when everything is going right and are most reliably there when everything is going wrong. Just because we cannot speak dog (or cat or bird or lizard) and they cannot intellectually communicate with us should not be a reason to desensitize their death.
If you are dealing with the loss of a pet, don’t feel guilty or weird for grieving as it is natural and common to do so, especially when they have played such a large role in your life. Looking back on the tears I shed for Daisy, I realize that although she wasn’t mine I sympathize with the loss because I’ve been through it before. It was also difficult for me because I associate Daisy with my friend’s house and I strongly viewed her as being part of the family. I assume that going to my friend’s house and not having Daisy run up to me for the first time in eleven years will be tough to take in, but I know that like all other wounds created by loss, this too will soon heal.
Photo Credit: John Moore/ Getty Images
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Three weeks ago, one of my staff members came knocking on my office door.
“I recently found out about something, and I’m not sure what to do.”
The following 40 minutes were then spent discussing the difficult issue of covering the death of a student in the paper.
When someone the same age as you passes away due to sudden or violent reasons, it is never an easy discussion. It is something that needs to be done while still respecting the privacy of the deceased’s family, while still maintaining integrity and honesty in coverage. As a student news outlet that covers campus-related issues, the passing of a student can be a challenging but important story to cover.
As some of you may have heard, on the night of Saturday, Nov. 21, a fellow Marauder passed away from a tragic accident. Mariel Garcia, a first-year Humanities student, was struck and killed in a hit-and-run. The accused was recently released on bail, and the family is currently raising funds to pay for the funeral.
Garcia is not the first student to pass away during this school year. This is not meant to at all take away from her unfortunate and untimely death, but it is a reality that many students are sheltered from.
Our campus functions just as the rest of the world does — issues arise, conflicts are resolved, and sometimes, unfortunately, people will die.
There is a certain grief that comes across the student body that needs to be respected at a time when the loss of a life is affecting many. When you hear about the passing of a stranger in the paper, does it add or take away from your experience of grief? Is it our place to cover the death of a student?
As a newspaper governed by the ongoings of student-aged people, the notion of death can feel surreal in our community. We are taught that young people are not meant to die, and when it does happen, it is something to study and publicize. And while there can be merit in that, when you see someone’s face on a front page, it can be tough to associate them with a real person who once sat in the same lecture halls you may be in right now.
We have chosen not to write a piece specifically about the loss of one of our students as a way of allowing our campus community enough time to grieve together.
If someone close to you at McMaster has passed, and you would like to see a memorial, article or investigation related to their life or death, we ask that you contact us.
Photos by Yousif Haddad
photos --> news --> unedited photos --> oct 30 --> finerual --> best photos --> 1tiff files
