In humour, the want to stay fresh and unique should always be present. If you steal jokes or concepts, you are deemed a plagiarist. If your topics lack originality, you are uninspired.

What separates a good comedian from a great comedian is how well they can make relatable events extraordinary and how they communicate its amusement and uniqueness without losing what the audience identifies with. Peter Unwin’s newest novel, Searching for Petronius Totem, finds this balance with Hamilton flair.

The basic premise is grounded and simple. The main character, Jack, retreats to a rooming house in Hamilton, then sets off across the country find his life-long colleague who has disappeared after his memoir was revealed to be filled with lies. There is also some understandable tension between Jack and his wife, who will likely shoot him on sight should he ever return home. Nothing is too out of the ordinary when it comes to a premise, and would make a decent novel with that base to work with.

However, the more substantial situation at hand is what will likely catch your attention. The world is being taken over by a multi-national Fibre-Optic Catering business that creates chicken-like food matter that flies. It is absurd.

“There’s a certain sort of repetitive quality to novel writing now. It tends to tell the same story with the same degree of earnestness, and I definitely did not want that. I wanted something that broke the mold,” said Unwin.

It works because of the attention to detail given to the basic premise. Even aspects as seemingly minor as the main characters being from Hamilton and a decent portion of the book taking place in the city have consistent influences throughout the novel. The dialect, how each character is perceived and the mannerisms of those characters are all affected.

“There’s a hierarchy of hipness or something about where we stand. Hamilton’s sort of gloriously outside of that hierarchy. Middle finger, we don’t care where we stand, we’re the Hammer, and this is us.”

As Jack travels across the country, this manages to come up time and time again. The reputation that Toronto and Ontario has plays into the book’s humour on top of these mannerisms.

Even though Hamilton is portrayed as being outside of that hierarchy, there remains resentment when people misinterpret where the characters are from or stereotype them as a result. It becomes a clever and realistic gag that comes up consistently in the middle of preposterous situations.

“People are proud of where they’re from regardless of how small the town is or how ugly. And that sort of pride in place, like when Jack goes to Vancouver, he just thinks Vancouver is a backwater. He’s from Hamilton. It could never be as good as Hamilton.”

This attention to detail remains present in its absurdity. This Hamilton influence continues to be a key factor in larger-than-life situations. It becomes a way of interpreting edible flying mechanical chickens as a metaphor, and most of the humour can hit home even when it does not initially feel like you can identify with it.

“To a large extent, the book is about things coming to an end, like a dystopia, end of the world type of book, getting there. And also, in a sense, the end of the novel or the death of the novel. You set this within Hamilton, it’s fair to say it has this reputation that’s passed now, is a city that’s suffered from this breakdown in industrialized industry.”

Honestly, it is unknown if someone outside of southern Ontario or Canada would find the novel funny. While you could relate through other points, this is a home-grown and tailor-made novel for its audience, and it is unapologetic about being locally focused.

It is not for everyone. However, considering you are reading an Arts & Culture article in a student newspaper that attempts to cater all of its content for the students of McMaster and the Hamilton community, it is likely that you will like it.

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Aquarius

(Jan. 21 - Feb. 19):

You are going to watch a cute dog video. You will find it hilarious and your day will be brightened. But this is a lie. You’re still going to fail your exam.

 

Pisces

(Feb. 20 - Mar. 20):

Don’t eat fish. It’s cannibalism and you’re going to have mad gas and diarrhea in your exam. And then you’ll be on Spotted @ Mac and your asshole friend is going to tag you.

 

Aries

(March 21 - April 20):

You are blessed with ability to cram this month. Please save all your studying for the 15 minutes before the test for maximum effect.

 

Taurus

(Apr. 21 - May 21):

Take a shower, not because it’s refreshing, but because you reek of sadness and failure. Also you smell like shit. Please have some consideration for the people around you.

 

Gemini

(May 22 - Jun. 21):

The gods are shining a warm light on you this month. Feel free to wear shorts and tank tops outside. It’s not cold. Your mind is simply still adjusting.

 

Cancer

(Jun. 22 - Jul. 23):

Now is definitely the time to pick up a new hobby or skill, like knitting scarves with pictures of cats or how to hack into the school system to set off all the fire alarms.

 

Leo 

(July 24 - Aug. 23):

People will be really empathetic for you this month. You should definitely just try crying on the floor outside your professor’s office.

 

Virgo 

(Aug. 24 - Sept. 23):

Your Netflix account is going to freeze. Maybe try “Study N’ Chill?” Nothing like some hard textbooks to get you sweating.

 

Libra

(Sept. 24 - Oct. 23):

Mind planet Mercury is in retrograde (or anterograde? I’m not sure) which means you’re going mess up on your test. Guess you’re out of luck.

 

Scorpio

(Oct. 24 - Nov. 22):

You love telling people that you’re screwed for exams when you’ve made all your notes. Please refrain from telling people this, not only because it makes you a douche, but also because someone’s gonna spit in your food.

 

Sagittarius 

(Nov. 23 - Dec. 21):

You actually still reading these? Christ, stop procrastinating. Get your shit together.

 

Capricorn

(Dec. 22 - Jan. 20):

Your computer’s going to break randomly and all your notes will be lost. Don’t bother trying to back your files up; your usb is also going to combust.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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The other day I came to your store to buy a seven-dollar venti low fat extra whip salted caramel mocha with coconut milk, and the biggest outrage wasn’t the price or your misspelling of my name again, but rather the fact that your cup was just plain red. I couldn’t believe it. #RedCupGate is real.

I mean, I forgot what your cups looked like in past years (I’m pretty sure Jesus on the cross was on the cup last year?), but this is definitely an outrage. I can’t believe that you are against Christmas. What did Santa ever do to you? By the way, you sure as hell ain’t getting a gift from him this year (just like every past year, but that’s cause you’ve always been a bad boy).

These plain red cups are so offensive. Look at it. It’s just red. The colour of blood. It doesn’t matter that you have gift cards that say “Merry Christmas,” Christmas tree ornaments, Christmas CDs, a Christmas blend, and snowman cookies. How dare you say “Happy Holidays” to me? You must say “Merry Christmas.” I don’t care about other holidays. The Jews can get in line. Hanukkah can wait, because Christmas was here first.

There are just a few of us on the #MerryChristmasStarbucks bandwagon right now, so my hope is that this letter will go viral and all the Christians around the land will rally to the cause started by Joshua Feuerstein (praise be). Most of them right now are being good Christians, spreading their faith, and being nice contributing members of society. But it’d be better if they all just dropped what they’re doing and boycott a cup. Thankfully, a lot of people out there are extrapolating the beliefs of my small dissenting group of extreme fanatics to be representative of all Christians, which makes things easier for us.

Christians, if you’re reading this, the plan is to go to Starbucks, pay them money so you can get a drink that says Merry Christmas on it, and then post it on social media so that everyone can see it. We need everyone to be thinking of Starbucks and joining us in buying more drinks from this hellhole. Only then will they learn their lesson.

Alternatively, we can do what Donald Trump said, and boycott Starbucks. Then we can take all the money saved from not buying your drinks to build a wall to push back those dirty Mexicans.

Taking a page from Joshua, I’m also going to exercise the second amendment and bring my gun to Starbucks the next time I come. In fact, I’m heading to Wal-Mart right after this. Wait. We’re in Canada. Damn it. Screw this place and its polar bears.

This isn’t over you Satan worshipping bastards.

Praise God,

The Best Christians

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