Celebrate Valentine's Day with a night of theatrical shows and live music
On Feb. 10, the Gritty City Theatre Company held their first-ever fundraiser event, Gritty City Steels your Heart, at the Spice Factory in downtown Hamilton.
The Gritty City Theatre Company was founded in 2019 by Melissa Murray-Mutch and Jason Thompson. They wanted to explore race, class and all things theatrical in their productions and foster community and family through their spaces.
“We have a great group of people that are working with us and they want to do it and I started to think of our theatre company as a home – we want it to be a home for people,” said Murray-Mutch.
The purpose of the Feb. 10 fundraiser was to bring awareness to their company, thank the cast of their last Fringe digital exclusive performance and celebrate Valentine’s Day with the rest of the community.
The evening of the Gritty City Steels your Heart event was filled with live music by arttheboy, a Hamilton-based artist and filmmaker; a live band performance by Badnew, a local punk band by Lola Medina and brothers Jack & Ben Caunter performing the “Hammered 2.0” soundtrack and an art exhibit and market organized by Jessika and Natasha Reddy. There were also performances from the Canadian Slavery Project, directed by Melissa Murray-Mutch and screenings of “Hammered” and “Hammered 2.0”, directed by John-Riley O'Handley and Lucy Reddy respectively. There was also food, drinks and raffles offered at the event.
Murray-Mutch hoped attendees would learn more about the Gritty City family, their hidden talent and continue to support their work. She also hoped that this event will attract more artists to collaborate with them in future projects.
“[We] want to attract more artists as well. We want people who want to work with us, and we want to let people know that we are [a] driving force in the community as well. Even though we're small, we’re mighty,” said Murray-Mutch.
Most of all, she hopes attendees will have an enjoyable time at the event.
“We want to do quality work, but we want to make it fun for everybody. We want people to come there and just have a great time,” she said.
“We want to do quality work, but we want to make it fun for everybody. We want people to come there and just have a great time."
Melissa Murray-Mutch, Founder of Gritty City Theatre Company
Moving forward, Gritty City plans on starting a new community theatre project and collaborating more with local artists. Additionally, they hope to continue to produce more showings for larger audiences while exploring new genres.
The intersections between love, sex, health and the facets of our identities
Intersectionality is an inevitable result of the fact that people’s identities are multidimensional. A term coined by law professor and advocate Kimberlé Crenshaw, intersectionality reflects how different aspects of who we are — from race to gender, sexual orientation to religion and disability to socioeconomic status — influence our lived experiences. In recognition of this fact and to honour these stories, we have asked our communities to share how identities intersect and shape our unique encounters with love, sex and health in this year’s Sex and the Steel City.
Growing up in a rather conservative South Korean household, I rarely engaged in conversations around love, sex and health, particularly mental health, with my family. I recall talking my mom about what I learned during health class in elementary school. The look of alarm and shock on her face when I said the word, masturbation, in front of her for the first time forbid me from saying it again so openly. In another instance when I was visiting family in South Korea, my dad shot me a sharp, disapproving frown at my spaghetti strap tank top. I remember a wave shame took over as he told me to go change into something more appropriate for a young girl.
Developing a healthy relationship and mindset around love, sex and health took a long time, especially as I learned to accept our differences and overcome my family’s cultural views and biases around these conversations. It probably wasn’t until my senior years of high school when I began to speak more vulnerably about my experiences with these topics. It was all due to the friends, teachers and communities that taught me not be afraid to speak up and made me feel validated.
This is why spaces like Sex and the Steel City where people can freely and openly share stories and deliberate on these so-called taboo topics are important. This year’s theme, intersectionality, was inspired in part by my upbringing and experiences but also in recognition of the fact many others also understand how different systems of oppression and aspects of identity affect how we view relationships, sexuality and well-being.
This issue is home to intimate, perhaps what many may consider controversial, special stories. I want to thank everyone, including the Silhouette staff, who contributed their perspective, artwork and narratives to create this wonderful issue. I’m honoured and grateful for the folks who entrusted me and gave me permission to share their thoughts and experiences with the rest of the McMaster community.
To you, dear reader, I hope this issue can serve as a space to explore, (un)learn and reimagine what love, sex and health can look and feel like. There aren’t enough pages in this issue to capture all the different stories of intersectionality and love and I acknowledge there are missing voices in this issue. However, I hope you find and resonate with at least one memorable artwork, image, article, sentence or word while reading this issue — I hope we made an impact on you. Additionally, if you see a gap in the missing pages that you can fill;, it’s also not too late to contribute to us.
Loving yourself and your body is one of the first step to a steady relationship with your partner
Everyone says love is beyond your looks. But this is often easier said than done for many of us who struggle with our body image, particularly in a world of social media.
Body image tends to be connected to self-worth. Being in relationships often causes us to feel vulnerable and self-conscious about our bodies. In some cases, it prevents people from seeking out relationships as they tend to magnify the difficulties and insecurities they may have.
“You can’t love someone else until you love yourself first,” is a common saying we have heard many times — but is this true? This study from 2016 concluded people who were happier with their body tend to have better romantic relationships compared to those who were dissatisfied. Individuals who struggled with their body image reported having more anxious and fearful attachment styles. Overall, though, of the 12,176 participants in the study, only 24 per cent of men and 20 per cent of women reported being satisfied with their appearance.
Katie McCrindle is a registered social worker, body liberation counsellor and activist who works with women and non-binary folks to improve their relationship with themselves. She aspires to create a world where people of all sizes are confident and are in a place of self-acceptance.
“If they're not feeling worthy, or good, then they start to doubt the relationship,” explained McCrindle.
Once they start to become unconfident, their thoughts can spiral down a rabbit hole as it causes them to feel displeased about their bodies and themselves in general. This is especially prominent during intimate moments when people are especially vulnerable and exposed.
“Especially when people are contemplating having sex, I think that is a huge part that impacts body image and how you feel about yourself [by] being in that vulnerable position. It's vulnerable to being naked in front of somebody,” said McCrindle.
“Especially when people are contemplating having sex, I think that is a huge part that impacts body image and how you feel about yourself [by] being in that vulnerable position. It's vulnerable to being naked in front of somebody.”
Katie McCrindle, registered social worker
Having low self-confidence in their appearance can make people more anxious in their relationship and fear that their partner will leave them. The main reason for this may be due to societal pressures and social media.
On social media, the “ideal” woman is curvy with full lips, perfect skin, white teeth and tanned skin. For men, the “ideal” is to have abs, broad shoulders, be over 6 feet and have defined muscles. Realistically, only very few individuals can check off all of these — and that is okay.
Body positivity is important because not only will it improve everyone’s self-confidence, but it will also strengthen everyone’s relationships, whether they are romantic or not. In short, body positivity is accepting all bodies, no matter their race, size, gender or anything else.
“I usually start with body image. [I help] people to learn more self-compassion for those kinds of thoughts and feelings about [their] body because it's pretty normal to have difficult emotions about one's body,” said McCrindle.
“I usually start with body image. [I help] people to learn more self-compassion for those kinds of thoughts and feelings about [their] body because it's pretty normal to have difficult emotions about one's body.”
Katie McCrindle, registered social worker
It is okay if you can’t love everything about yourself. It takes time and patience, but it is important to remember that you will always be there for yourself.
Life isn’t black and white, so our relationship status shouldn't be either
By Ardena Bašić, SATSC Contributor
We often define our relationship status in terms of a binary: we are either with another person or not. In other words, we can only ever be "taken" or "single".
Like most things in our lives, it cannot be that simple. An intuitive and modern example would be "situationships," where there is no clear line between being single or taken. Yet, I argue that we need to expand beyond this simplified approach. Instead of determining our status based on our ties to others, we should look at it as a focus on our internal or external environment.
In any relationship, there needs to be time to learn about the other person, their different signals and gestures, those little nuances that help you really understand a person. Consequently, when in a relationship, our minds become so focused on analyzing our external environment that we forget to look at our internal relationship with ourselves. As such, many psychologists argue that — while we are busy dating others — we often forget to date ourselves.
Consequently, when in a relationship, our minds become so focused on analyzing our external environment that we forget to look at our internal relationship with ourselves.
As a result, many individuals perceive being single as a time to work on themselves as our focus shifts to something different from the labels of “taken” or “single”. This is a time to look at things like further education, going to the gym more and pursuing hobbies with or without others around. When there isn’t a major distraction — in this case a major relationship to work on — there is more time for these pursuits and the associated self-discovery.
In days of agile relationships based on instant gratification, not defining oneself as single or taken stands out as an outlier — especially in the younger generation when it is the "norm" to define oneself with these labels. However, this new perspective of clear markers puts a more positive spin on working on your relationship with yourself in lieu of seeing oneself as lesser or incomplete without a significant other. After all, if relationships are to add to our overall spirit and not just fill a missing piece, we need to know ourselves enough to find the best energy to complement our own.
After all, if relationships are to add to our overall spirit and not just fill a missing piece, we need to know ourselves enough to find the best energy to complement our own.
So, in conversation, one can say their focus leans more towards external or internal relationships to replace the terms “taken” or “single”. This idea takes away the daunting label that is associated with being alone and instead posits it in a way that focuses on growth and development: the epitome of supporting oneself.
It should be noted that this is not another binary, but instead a continuum with no real "zero" value. Even in strong relationships, we must care for ourselves and equally, when considering our own self-reflection, we must consider our most important relationships. Similarly, we also have to consider our most important relationships when considering our own self-reflection. Life isn’t black and white, so our relationship status should not be either.
Life isn’t black and white, so our relationship status should not be either.
Overall, we should refuse to position ourselves in binaries simply for the sake of societal expectations. This idea applies in every area of life, but especially when it is connected to our own self-worth and development. As we move forward and our priorities change, we can name our relationship status a movement along a continuum instead of a jump between left and right.
A year after its initial launch at McMaster, the Aphrodite Project returns with updated changes
In 2021, an initiative known as the Aphrodite Project was introduced to McMaster University as a way of fostering community by helping students match with a potential romantic partner or platonic friend. Students would answer a number of questions and an algorithm would match them based on their responses.
The project has returned to McMaster on Jan. 24, 2022.
Maya Bozzo-Rey, the lead project manager at McMaster who is also a second-year honours biology student, explained that the project has become rather well known within the McMaster community. Many students have inquired about its return on Reddit and other similar platforms and Bozzo-Rey believes that the project adds a layer of community.
“It just adds a sense of community, especially now, because we’re all at home and online and it’s hard to meet new people, so it’s just nice to even find a friend,” said Bozzo-Rey.
“It just adds a sense of community, especially now, because we’re all at home and online and it’s hard to meet new people, so it’s just nice to even find a friend."
Maya Bozzo-Rey, Lead Project Manager
Last year, the algorithm that is claimed to be used has been critiqued heavily by many as the type to heavily favour one sex as opposed to the other.
However, Bozzo-Rey said that the project has come quite far since last year. Even if last year had not turned out how one would’ve wanted, this year could go better.
Angelina Zhang, a second-year honours sensory-motors student, shared her own experiences with the Aphrodite Project. She participated last year and was paired with someone who she is now friends with. She had gone in hoping to have a romantic match, but explained that the friendship she gained was just as nice.
Zhang shared that the project’s questionnaire section about what personal beliefs mattered to her the most made her need to step back and evaluate. She shared how these kinds of questions aren’t as common on more popular dating apps that have traditionally prioritized physical attributes.
“There are a lot of questions that ask you about your values, like what aspects of life you value the most. I think that’s a pretty interesting choice of questions because I feel like when we actually assess our relationships in real life, we don’t always think about that a lot,” said Zhang.
“There are a lot of questions that ask you about your values, like what aspects of life you value the most. I think that’s a pretty interesting choice of questions because I feel like when we actually assess our relationships in real life, we don’t always think about that a lot."
Angelina Zhang, Honours Sensory-Motors Student
Between the previous and current year there have been updates to the Aphrodite project interface. One key change is the profile section on the page. Students can now add a profile photo and information that would be emailed to matches can now all be seen on their profile page.
Jessica Cui, a member of the marketing and communications team for the project and second-year student at Waterloo University, explained that this was meant to make the site a little more interactive.
“I think overall, we want to make it more interactive and so you can know a little bit more about your match before you speak with them. So, like adding a picture, I think it shows more personality and then maybe even a conversation starter,” said Cui.
As someone who opted to participate once again in the Aphrodite project, Zhang talked about her thoughts regarding the new additions to the interface.
She isn’t sure if the addition of a profile picture is absolutely necessary, considering that to her the main strength of this project was the questions themselves. She wonders if biases may present themselves because of this, stopping a potentially great match from occurring.
Finally, she discussed that, to her, it’s hard to really say if the McMaster community is brought together for the best when looking at this project. She says that, at the end of the day, it is simply more dependent on who one is matched with.
“I would say it depends on who you are matched up with, I guess . . . I think it’s pretty cool if you get matched up with someone that you kind of vibe with . . . It’s like even if you don’t end up dating them, you feel like you gained a new friend. However, I know that some people did not have a super great experience with their match for different reasons,” said Zhang.
Overall, students at McMaster, like Zhang, find themselves with the option to try and see if this project is what they need to form connections. As the years continue, it will be interesting to see how projects like the Aphrodite Project pan out and if they will continue to garner the same level of student interest annually.
C/O Allauren Forbes
A philosophy course offers a space for exploration of some of our most intimate topics
What is love, really? What makes a meaningful relationship? How can our understanding of love and sex shift with the complexities of societal, political and ethical expectations?
The study of philosophy involves seeking out truths about the world, our relationships with one another and our relationship with ourselves. Allauren Forbes is an assistant professor at McMaster University within the department of philosophy. Forbes teaches a course called Philosophy of Love and Sex, which focuses on exploring truths about topics of love and sex.
The course offers students an opportunity to have discussions about philosophical topics, engage in self-reflection and analyze philosophical literature, some of which may challenge their personal views on intimate relationships.
The course offers students an opportunity to have discussions about philosophical topics, engage in self-reflection and analyze philosophical literature, some of which may challenge their personal views on intimate relationships.
Though unique to every individual, such topics are universal and monumental to how one navigates the world and Forbes believes that the importance of love and sex extends beyond just romantic relationships alone.
“[T]hey're really personal things that shape enormous amounts of the way that we live our lives, the kinds of relationships that we pursue, the kinds of choices we make about careers or where we live [and] a host of other things,” said Forbes.
Although not always obvious, love and sex are often complicated by societal values and expectations.
“[Societal expectations] tell us what kinds of relationships are good or valuable [and] what kinds of structures are good or valuable."
Allauren Forbes, Assistant Professor of Philosophy
“[Societal expectations] tell us what kinds of relationships are good or valuable [and] what kinds of structures are good or valuable,” explained Forbes.
One example of how relationships can challenge societal norms is found in polyamorous relationships. Forbes explained that polyamory is not as widely accepted in Western societies given that monogamy is the default understanding people have about what a relationship is supposed to look like.
However, exploring philosophical questions can help investigate the value behind these assumptions in society.
“[I]n the context of romance, you should have a relationship structure that suits your needs and if you are in a society that says, ‘Well, [here] is a very specific narrative: you should find the one and live happily ever after and have two kids,’ maybe that's not what suits you. [Philosophy] helps us question some of these structures. Maybe monogamy isn't right for somebody. Maybe there are other ways to do things that are still in love and still meaningful and valuable [in] all the ways that traditional relationships are,” said Forbes.
In addition to societal norms, intersectional identities such as race and gender can also play a crucial role to how one experiences love and sex.
Often, Forbes explained, this can present itself in the form of racist expectations of what is appropriate or not for a particular race. False stereotypes about people can be damaging and pose extra barriers preventing people from building meaningful lives for themselves.
The community that an individual surrounds themselves with, whether it be their family or friends, can have also significant impact on their experience with relationships.
“I mean, it could be so psychologically burdensome to try and live a life that is authentic and affirming to you if the people around you think that you are living or being in the wrong kind of way or the wrong kind of relationship . . . [Community] has the power to lift you up but also has the power to sort of pull you back, mak[ing] it harder to live the life of your choosing but also harder to feel good about living the life you're choosing,” said Forbes.
“I mean, it could be so psychologically burdensome to try and live a life that is authentic and affirming to you if the people around you think that you are living or being in the wrong kind of way or the wrong kind of relationship."
Allauren Forbes, Assistant Professor of Philosophy
After teaching the course for the last two years, Forbes said that she enjoys teaching the course, though it can require an important balance between open discussion amongst the students and staying mindful of the sensitive nature of these topics.
Forbes aims to be respectful of students’ experiences, recognizing that discussions can be personal, while creating an atmosphere in which students feel comfortable engaging in stimulating conversations. As a way of promoting this environment, an anonymous form is available for students to fill out if they have any concerns they want to bring to her attention.
Stressing the importance of how philosophy can transform our understanding of love, Forbes hopes students can apply their learning to their own lives.
“I want students to come away from the class with the sort of formal school skills of philosophy to question some of these things [and] make sure that they understand the kinds of things that they want to do for themselves. I mean, I think philosophy can help us live better lives and I think that part of it is understanding what it is that we're doing,” said Forbes.
In 2020 and 2021, Philosophy of Love and Sex (PHILOS 2ZZ3) has been offered in the fall semester. Although not certain as of date, students can keep an eye out for future offering of this course on the department of philosophy website.
C/O Yoohyun Park
How social media has been fuelling eating disorders and body image issues
cw: eating disorders, body dysmorphia, body image, self-harm
With today’s society being submerged in a world of social media that advertises bodies that are considered “norms,” it can be quite easy for one to feel down about their appearance. Today, it is not a shock when young teens decide to undergo procedures such as lip injections that are supposedly meant to look “natural.”
It begs the question: how can one be confident in their own body? We are constantly surrounded by images of individuals with body types that may be unachievable.
For example, the current ideal for a woman’s appearance is deemed as someone with big lips, a tiny nose, long hair, thin waist and an hourglass figure. And don’t forget — men need to be jacked, tall and strong.
In my own experience, it’s been interesting seeing the norms change in the media throughout the years. First, we had the Tumblr phase, in which eating disorders, self-harm and anorexia were considered the norm.
It was a competition of who had it worse and whoever did was the most “beautiful.” These were the standards around the same time I was in middle school.
Then Instagram came in. At first, it was lighthearted but as the years went on, it became more toxic.
With the rising popularity of editing apps such as FaceTune, it can become immensely difficult to discern what is real and what is fake.
Popular Instagram models and the Kardashian family have set a “norm” for what beautiful women should look like, even though their beauty may have been attained through personal training and cosmetic surgery.
Due to these overbearing images and social norms, the terms body positivity and body neutrality have become more and more prominent.
In a broad sense, body positivity is loving all bodies, no matter their size, race or anything in-between. Body neutrality is accepting your body — recognizing its remarkable abilities and non-physical characteristics instead of focusing on your physical appearance alone.
For example, let’s say I’m talking about my thighs. From a body positivity perspective, I love my thighs, cellulite and all. From a body neutrality lens, I would simply love my thighs because they help me walk.
While these terms have become more common and helped many, they’ve also negatively affected some people. The body positivity trend has also led to negative consequences such as skinny shaming, which need to be avoided if we truly desire to treat all bodies equally.
Our society also needs to understand that a certain body isn’t the picture of health and having another body type doesn’t mean you’re inherently unhealthy.
Being healthy is allowing yourself to eat what you’d like while balancing a lifestyle that allows you to receive all the nutrients you need. It’s learning how to take care of your mind and body. It’s creating healthy habits.
And it is okay to not love certain things.
It takes time — a lifetime, really. But be patient with yourself and the world and notice all the things that you were given, notice what they do and appreciate them. Practice gratitude towards yourself and others and everything else will slowly follow.
Ainsley Thurgood/Photo Assistant
Have you ever thought of treating yourself the way you treat others?
As individuals, even at a young age, we’re taught to have compassion for others. Every quote, motto and story that we learned revolved around the idea of showing kindness, respect and appreciation for our family, friends and superiors.
It may suffice to say that such emphasis was laid on these foundations because it was assumed that we knew how to extend these values to ourselves.
Even the infamous “golden rule” of treating others the way you’d like to be treated taught us to use ourselves as a benchmark for our behaviour to others. They never mentioned how exactly we establish this benchmark, let alone the fact that the rule implies that it can only be accomplished through the means of others.
It’s not a bad rule. In fact, the rule itself is beautiful. But it is only effective if you’re aware of your self-worth.
As we grew older, most of us became experts at the art of showing others compassion. When a friend feels upset about failing a test, we’re there to tell them how smart they are and when they’re feeling insecure about their outfit, we tell them how good they look.
I’m sure it’s obvious where I’m going with this, in that when similar situations arise for ourselves, how we respond is very different. Suddenly, we’re not smart enough to be sitting in a lecture hall and we wonder why the ogres haven't requested to have their faces back.
You’re free to call others talented, smart and beautiful, but if you dare say those things about yourself, it’s suddenly egotistical and morally repugnant.
There’s a kind of hypocrisy where social media expects you to constantly critique yourself and deflect compliments while simultaneously telling you that you’re “worthy and special in your own way.”
Why is it so hard to think positively and focus on the good things about ourselves?
For example, if we get 70 per cent on a midterm, we’re naturally more inclined to dwell on the 30 per cent of questions we got wrong rather than acknowledging the 70 percent we got correct.
Scientists tell us it’s due to a phenomenon known as the negativity bias, which implies an intrinsic asymmetry between using positive and negative information to navigate our lives. This can easily extend to our perceptions of ourselves, opting to hang on to the negative aspects instead of appreciating the positive.
Originally, this came from an ancestral survival instinct. In terms of survival, it was far more useful for our ancestors to take heed of negative stimuli rather than focusing on positive ones. It’s important to remind ourselves that what we’re doing here on Earth is no longer just surviving but that we have the luxury and right to live.
With that said, it ultimately comes down to the fact that we don’t trust ourselves. Even if there’s a moment where you believe yourself to be worthy, societal suggestions or even childhood experiences swiftly replace the feeling with doubt.
What’s more, society has thoroughly convinced us that we must look for external outlets to fulfil this void of love.
Whether this includes finding someone else to build you up, competing with others or becoming a perfectionist, these tactics will often fail since they are rooted in self-doubt.
Instead, we need to re-teach ourselves to look for fulfillment within. It’s not remotely realistic to attempt to block out all the negativity, but I can practically see the eye-roll if I tell you to embrace it.
Finding a middle ground where you simply
acknowledge your mistakes and alleged shortcomings is a start. It’s difficult to accept the good, bad and ugly parts of yourself, but unless we make an effort to do so, it will prove equally challenging to do the same for others.
If we daringly flip the saying and start to treat ourselves the way we treat others then perhaps we can finally learn to love ourselves the way we were always meant to.
C/O Caleb Shong
Choosing partners through a sole focus on emotion often leaves young folks confused and hurt
As teenagers and young adults, we often fall in love spontaneously and that’s what makes it so exciting in the beginning. At this age, we often don’t have strict standards and boundaries and simply go after what feels right.
Expectedly, our strong sense of passion and emotions seems to take over our barely developed sense of reason and rationality. We choose to overlook certain red flags in our partner and relationship supposedly in the name of love.
But, what is the aftermath of carelessly choosing a partner at a young age?
As I mentioned, in our younger years, we evidently don't choose relationships on the basis of logic — we choose it purely based on raw fervor. Frankly, most of us didn’t know any better and it made sense to choose someone that made us initially feel loved and cared for.
However, choosing a partner purely based on emotions often heavily costs us.
I believe there are three main reasons why young love often doesn’t last and leaves both parties feeling damaged and broken.
Firstly, most teenagers and even young adults are at a malleable stage in life. We are constantly shifting and discovering new aspects of ourselves. The bitter-sweet truth is that we simply don’t remain the same person.
Unfortunately, this has a direct effect on our relationships.
As we and our partners our constantly evolving, we often drift apart in terms of values. Although this is not necessarily a bad thing and both progressions could be positive for both parties, they can still diverge as incompatibilities arise.
The second reason I believe young love doesn’t work out is our poor communication skills. For the majority of us, we have never been taught proper communications skills.
We lack fundamental skills such as managing our anger, communicating clearly, mindfulness and trust-building. Unfortunately, due to the absence of these principal building blocks, we frequently find ourselves confused, angry and anxious after relationship struggles.
Lastly, we often fail to recognize the importance of actively putting effort in our relationship.
Most times, when we enter a relationship at a young age, we feel as if the relationship should work out effortlessly with no bumps on the road. Evidently, this is false as there is significant importance tied to actively aiming to make your relationship a safe space for both.
For all these reasons, when young love ends, we hurt deeply — perhaps because of the feeling of confusion that is attached to it. Often, we cannot pinpoint what exactly went wrong and all we feel is significant pain. Mixed emotions of anxiety, sadness and anger slowly into resentment towards our partners.
Our feelings puzzle us as there is always so much to unwrap and unpack. And because of these extremely perplexing emotions, young love pains us.
C/O Jessica Yang
Holding space for the stories closest to our hearts
One of the first articles I wrote for the Silhouette was for the 2020 Sex and the Steel City issue. As I struggled to come up with an idea, I remember feeling daunted and underqualified to tackle the topics at the heart of the issue. I agonized over that article, rewriting it half a dozen times before I got a draft I was even remotely happy with. But after, I also appreciated the space writing that article offered me to think about the questions of love, intimacy and relationships—and then the space the issue offered to read the stories and thoughts of others as well.
Just like that early article, I’ve agonized over this issue, too. When I started planning it, I felt just as daunted and underqualified as I did before. Sex and the Steel City is a unique special issue, close to the hearts of so many people and I wanted to do justice to that, but I didn’t know what I had to bring to the issue.
And I kept thinking about the space that first article gave me, the spaces I’ve strived to offer interviewees as a reporter and my writers as an editor, and I thought about the unique, wonderful safety inherent in community — in a space where you are free to not only be yourself but also able to even just figure out who you are to begin with, without having to worry about protecting yourself or the expectations of others and knowing you have people in your corner who see you and will support you.
This same sense of safety, of community, is a key part of Sex and the Steel City. It’s what allows this issue to offer the space it does to not only its contributors to share the stories closest to their hearts, but also to its readers to feel seen and heard, to know they are not alone. In this year’s issue, we’ve tried to honour the importance of community, highlight the ones that have built us up as well as those we’ve built through love, intimacy and relationships.
Sex and the Steel City is a community project, a true labour of love. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this issue, who shared their stories and their artwork; it has been a privilege to hear your stories over these past few weeks. Thank you to everyone on staff who wrote for and created and organized this issue. This will be the largest issue of the Silhouette to date and it wouldn’t have been possible without you.
For everyone who reads this issue, though, I hope you feel some of that same sense of community, too. I hope you can see yourself somewhere in these pages, even if it’s just in one image or one story, and know you are not alone.
But if you don’t, because I also know there are stories missing from the pages of this issue, stories still to be told, I hope you know there is still space for you here, just as you are. I like to think that’s why we do this issue every year, so everyone has a chance to tell their story.
