While having friends on campus contributes to a great university experience, there are a multitude of benefits to maintaining long distance friendships across universities
The pandemic greatly impacted how students make friendships during their university careers. According to Reddit user u/Bbso1229, “COVID took that friendship building experience away from me and everyone else in my first year.” They further elaborated that although extroverted, they have difficulty creating friendships due to pre-established friend groups formed during the pandemic.
Some McMaster students have noticed the similar struggles that are faced by commuter students and have created the McMaster Society for Off-Campus Students. This society aims to cater to the needs of commuter students and helps them feel included within the McMaster community. McMaster SOCS aims to help commuter students form friendships with those who can relate to their experiences.
Unfortunately, for commuter students or individuals who choose to live off-campus during their first year, the experience of u/Bbso1229 is much more commonly shared than you may think. It is difficult for individuals to make friends during a time of limited social interaction. It proves even more complicated when most of the individuals they interact with on campus have their own established friend groups.
As a former commuter student myself, it has been difficult to make friends with peers during undergrad. This especially rings true if you are attending a different university than your high school peers. On a positive note, the difficulty of making new friendships during the pandemic has lead to some creating stronger bonds within pre-existing friendships. Many individuals, including myself, have turned to childhood friendships for support.
As a former commuter student myself, it has been difficult for students such as myself to make friends with peers during undergrad.
Though distance may make it seem difficult to maintain old friendships, one of the largest benefits of possessing a friendship with a student who attends another university is the professional opportunities, such as research opportunities or jobs, that it could expose you. While McMaster is a research-intensive institute, it could sometimes be difficult for students to secure a position due to the popularity of student-sought research opportunities.
Fortunately, expanding your friend group can also expand your network; your friends could introduce you to their network, thus giving you access to more connections.
Fortunately, expanding your friend group can also expand your network; your friends could introduce you to their network, thus giving you access to more connections.
With an expanded network, students have many more opportunities to connect with individuals who are researching or working in the student’s subject of interest. Although this may sound difficult to accomplish since you do not attend that university, your friend’s own network is now shared with you, allowing you to also explore the potential connections within their network.
Additionally, inter-university friendships do not necessarily result in the same degree of competition between friends and instead spark encouragement due to the lack of similarity in work. Since courses are not structured identically across universities, the variance in coursework downregulates a competitive nature in students. It can be difficult to compare yourself to your friend when you are following a different course breakdown.
It can be difficult to compare yourself to your friend when you are following a different course breakdown.
Although having a friend group at your university can better integrate you into the community and make you feel at home where you study, it certainly does not hurt to expand your network to different universities. With the numerous benefits of having friends living far from you, it may be best to rekindle the childhood friendships that may have fell apart since beginning university.
By: Ran Ren
It is strange how moving from a high school with 1000 students to a university populating over 30,000 can feel far lonelier. For how much high school is negatively tied with cliques and social hierarchies, there exists a certain stability in its tribalism — in sharing classes and cafeteria tables with the same people every day.
The fact that you can choose your friends in university is liberating. But there is an inherent hurdle to tackle: an increased difficulty in meeting new people. In a lecture hall of hundreds, friends are no longer whom you sit beside. Gone are the arranged seating plans that forced friendships throughout high school. It is disheartening when after all the handshakes and exchanges of names, your newly-made friends are nowhere to be found the next lecture.
A 2016 survey by the National College Health Assessment found that 68 per cent of Ontario students felt “very lonely” within the past year.
For all the glitz and glamour of constant parties and freedom from parents, the reality of university can be lonely and depressing. With the known links between isolation and other health problems, it is unsurprising then that 61 per cent of students also reported feeling “things are hopeless” and a greater 89 per cent feeling “overwhelmed”.
Social isolation is fundamentally a personal struggle. But so long as it results in mental health issues within students and a resultant strain on campus healthcare resources, it is McMaster University’s struggle as well. With the amount of money McMaster spends on fixing what’s already a problem — on counselors or therapy — can they afford to ignore the root cause of social isolation?
Implementing stronger support networks can help students. Friends can aid with studying, edit assignments or share notes for missed lectures. Socializing also provides a much-needed outlet for feelings of stress, frustration and sadness. Students who take care of their relationships also take better care of themselves: they exercise more often, eat healthier and sleep better.
Above all, McMaster as a higher education institution has a vested interest in creating students who will become the next generation’s politicians, doctors, engineers, artists, teachers and many more — careers which require soft skills, especially social skills. In our current market, workers need to be effective in dynamic group settings. And no one ever became charismatic by spending months studying alone in their dorm.
Of course, words are easier than actions, especially with such a difficult, pervasive issue. It’s not as though McMaster can hunt down lonely students and give them a pep talk.
So what can students do to expand their social circles? The easiest way to make friends is to be around people who share common interests. Every McMaster student automatically pays fees that support the McMaster Students Union, which hosts hundreds of diverse clubs across a wide range of topics including culture, recreation, academics or social issues. Finding new friends can be as easy as finding a club that matches your passion. Even outside of clubs, there are opportunities to meet others through athletics or volunteering.
McMaster has a responsibility to support, advertise and encourage new students to become involved in their community. They ultimately reap the benefits by creating students who are more engaged and with stronger soft skills. Most importantly, they’ll have a student body who are happy and healthy throughout their time at university.
Failing everything else, the simplest solution on the individual basis might be to merely introduce yourself to those sitting beside you during lecture or tutorial. In the end, we all need somebody to lean on.
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