When used thoughtfully, technology can deepen emotional bonds, without replacing the power of in-person connection

Technology is often perceived as an interruption to our natural relationships. In fact, many of us believe that our bonds are only really created through face-to-face interactions, real life, conversations, and actual human touch as opposed to FaceTime calls and emoji-filled messages.

At the same time, villainizing technology when it comes to our close relationships masks the benefits that these tools can have when it comes to improving our communication, offering us more opportunities to connect, and our ability to understand each other better. While there are always risks associated with picking up our devices, they are simply tools to be leveraged to bolster our connections with the most important people in our lives.

One of the major benefits of technology comes with medium and long-distance relationships. Video calls, for example, were a major development when it comes to maintaining a connection during long-distance periods in relationships—providing much-needed visual cues which are absent in voice calls or text messages.

Video allows for emotional expression through facial gestures, body language, and the added intimacy of seeing each other in real time. More specifically, research shows that these visual cues can strengthen emotional bonds and reduce feelings of loneliness, ultimately making it easier to feel emotionally connected despite the physical distance. As such, technology enables couples to create shared experiences that help bridge the physical gap and facilitate emotional intimacy.

Seeing how someone interacts with technology offers us a way to understand our partners in a different light. Technology use, whether it’s through communication, the tone of their texts or how they manage online interactions, also reveals aspects of someone’s personality that might not come through in person. For example, the way one responds to messages or engages on social media can indicate traits like attentiveness, introversion, or extroversion.

While these virtual interactions don’t replace in-person connection, they offer valuable insights into how someone processes information, manages conflict, and expresses affection. In many cases, they give us a fuller understanding of who someone is outside of in-person interactions.

However, it’s important to remember the risks of being overly reliant on technology in relationships. While technology facilitates communication, it can also create a false sense of intimacy, leading to superficial interactions. This artificial intimacy not only deprives individuals of real connections but can also create conflict and hinder emotional intimacy.

Digital communication, such as text messaging, often lacks the depth and nuance of face-to-face encounters. Non-verbal cues and physical presence are critical for understanding each other’s emotions.

Spending too much time on digital platforms can lead to a detachment from reality, reducing the quality of in-person interactions and sometimes fostering misunderstandings or miscommunications. This “always connected” culture can lead to emotional burnout, especially if the digital interaction lacks the authenticity that true connection requires.

While technology can enhance relationships by offering more ways to communicate, connect, and understand each other, it is essential to strike a balance. The best relationships are still grounded in real, in-person experiences. Digital tools, when used thoughtfully, can be a supplement to face-to-face connection—not a replacement. The key is to use technology to foster deeper bonds but never forget that the strongest relationships are those that thrive in the physical presence of one another.

Reflecting on changes to family relationships during the pandemic

Homebound for now over a year, this has been a time of waiting. Waiting for school days back on campus. Waiting for a vaccine. Waiting for lockdown measures to be lifted to see friends and family again. But despite feeling stuck in one place, there has been much change both in the world around us and in ourselves. 

One of the many changes I experienced this past year has been my relationship with my family, particularly my aunt. Standing at just under five feet tall, my aunt is the shortest but also the toughest woman I know. 

She immigrated to Canada by herself from South Korea when she was just 21 years old and was forced to carve her own path in the world. She went from being a convenience store cashier, to opening her own video rental business, then to working as a nail technician at a salon. 

I moved to Canada at the age of eight with my mom and younger sister. My aunt taught my sister and I to not rely on our mom, but to do our chores without being told and to clean up after ourselves.

I still remember one incident when I was still in elementary school and my sister and I forgot to bring our food containers to the sink after school, one of my aunt’s biggest pet peeves. We woke up the following morning to find no lunches on the counter. Instead, we had to make do with our own emergency five-minute bagels with cream cheese for lunch. 

My aunt was extremely strict with us but even stricter with herself. Growing up in her hands with my mom always busy at work as a single parent, I adapted her independent mindset. It has been a fundamental part of who I am for as long as I could remember.

There is not a single memory I can recall of seeing my aunt crying. She always bottled up her pain, hardships and struggles and never revealed when she was having a tough time. Everyone thought she was built like an unbreakable soldier.

On Christmas Eve of 2016, my aunt was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer with metastasis. It was a shock to everyone who knew her well. I didn’t understand how a person as fierce and resilient as my aunt could come down with such a vicious disease. 

I only later learned that my aunt had suspected something was wrong with her body for some time, but she was too scared to admit it. By the time we figured it out, her x-ray lit up like a Christmas tree. The cancer had metastasized everywhere and all too much to undergo surgery. 

When I saw her for the first time quietly laying in her hospital bed and heard her heavy, stertorous breathing, she suddenly didn’t seem all that mighty. That Christmas, for the first time, I saw how frail she was, how vulnerable she was, how afraid she was.

For the first time, our family opened up to our deepest, rawest feelings and emotions. For the first time, all of us were willing to admit that we were scared. 

Fast forward five years to today, my aunt is currently receiving palliative care, but to me, she is still the same strong, mighty warrior I saw her as when I was a child. Although I miss many things from before the pandemic, I’m appreciative of the extra time I got to spend with my aunt and family at home. 

I was able to be there for my mom every time she had to take my aunt to the hospital. I also learned more about my aunt — her favourite foods, what she was like when she was my age and friends and people she’s met. 

I used to resent her for not telling us about her pain, which would’ve helped to get her diagnosis earlier, but I realized that as a female Asian immigrant, her stubbornness and resilience were characteristics necessary for her to survive. Most importantly, I got to reflect on old memories and create new, truly special memories together with the precious time we have left. 

We sometimes feel the need to conceal our emotions from our loved ones out of fear of looking weak or to avoid making them worry. However, these days, my family is unafraid to forfeit our emotional barriers and simply be soft, vulnerable people. Especially during times of hardship, grief and uncertainty, there is nothing more powerful than family to give us hope, support and comfort.