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Hating your body is NOT normal
You do not have to hate yourself. It is not normal, even if it is common. Often, our negative thoughts about ourselves become habits and we don’t even notice how much they have taken over our lives. It is perfectly OK to love your body as it is, or even just to come to terms with it. Disordered eating is pervasive, and bodily self-hate is everywhere, but it doesn’t have to be. The mantra of “every body is beautiful, including my own” is one that I repeat to myself constantly, and that I also tell those I love when they are struggling. Find your own mantra and use it wisely. You and your body are on the same team; cultivate a good relationship and you will be astonished what you can accomplish together.
Food is everywhere
And I don’t just mean physically, I mean socially. You don’t realize just how many events — religious, family, or friendly — revolve around food until you try to give it up. Swearing off food is nothing short of social death. In hindsight, the saddest moments in my life were those when I sat and ate my pitiful meals alone, picking at celery sticks and egg whites alone in the quiet confines of my room. Food was never meant to be a solitary activity, yet we spend too much time eating independently or in the company of Netflix. Treasure your communal meals, because the nourishment of company is just as important as what you are eating together.
Everyone is beautiful
A funny thing happened when I started being open about my body dysmorphia. The people I thought would be the happiest with their bodies — the slim and conventionally appealing — were no more satisfied with their appearance than the ordinary looking. What I discovered is that how you feel about your body has very little to do with your body itself. When I was a full 70 pounds heavier than my sickest weight, I was also happier with my body than I’d ever been (and the healthiest I’d ever been too). The best way I’ve found to begin healing your relationship with your body is to stop judging other people for their appearance. If you can learn to accept other people, it becomes a hell of a lot easier to coexist with your own “faults.”
Life is too short for diets
Remember what I said about food and social death? I was not kidding. A diet takes away your focus on the important things in life and replaces it with a cycle of guilt, self-hatred, and smug superiority. While not all diets are eating disorders, they have one important thing in common; they narrow your focus down to one thing and one thing only — the food you cannot eat. They also don’t work. Five years after a diet your chances of keeping the weight off is only five percent likely, and many people actually gain back more weight than they’ve lost. My — admittedly extreme — diet has even had permanent or semi-permanent negative effects on my body and mind. You are torturing yourself for nothing. Seriously, life is too short.
Relearn everything about your health
Thinness is not health. We all have that one skinny friend that eats terribly and does not exercise — and as an autonomous human being, that is their right — but why on earth would we assume that they are healthier than the fat person who exercises daily and enjoys wholesome food? More and more studies are showing that lifestyle has a much larger impact on health than size, and the two are not necessarily correlated. We accept the fact that some people can be naturally skinny, but we can’t accept that some people may be naturally larger, and that there is nothing wrong with that. Some people are naturally fat and they are not any less healthy, beautiful, or worthy of respect.
Photo Credit: Cicanevelde.hu
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I will admit that I am a hypochondriac. The slightest suspicion has me out the door and in line at the walk-in clinic. Unfortunately, this often leaves me feeling frustrated because seeing your family doctor or visiting a walk-in clinic doesn’t always give you the answers you’re looking for. If something doesn’t feel right, it is worth getting it checked out by a medical professional, but depending on what your problem is, doctors might not always have solutions. If you are suffering from a disorder with no physical manifestations — such as mental health concerns — a clinic or family doctor may send you away without resolving the problem.
While many sufferers of mental illness benefit greatly from medication prescribed by their doctors, it is not always necessary or as helpful as one might imagine. Two cases that come to mind in which non-medicinal alternatives can help are situational anxiety and seasonal affective disorder, both very common ailments. Both can vary in symptoms from person to person. Since doctors diagnose based on evidence presented to them, it’s going to be difficult in cases like these for them to be entirely sure of their analyses. Only you have a complete picture of how you are feeling, and while medication may be necessary in some cases, you might find that you simply need a bit of mediation, exercise, and a healthy diet. These are a few options that could help lift your spirits, if not addressing the root cause of your problem. Non-medical treatments also don’t have the side effects that medication can. One option is counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy.
I am by no means saying that doctors should be avoided. They should be consulted, however, it’s important to not rely completely on the medical system when you don’t have to.
CBT works by examining negative thinking in order to change your outlook and responses. The purpose of this type of psychotherapy is to minimize overall distress levels and self-defeating behaviour. Considering the amount of stress we students face daily, therapy is one solution to a wide range of mental health problems that is more sustainable than taking unnecessary prescription drugs.
I am by no means saying that doctors should be avoided. They should definitely be consulted. However, it’s important to not rely completely on the medical system when you don’t have to. We all know how difficult it can be to get an early appointment let alone a same-day one. Wait times can be long, especially when you need to follow up with a specialist. Therefore, one of the best things you can do for yourself if you are struggling is closely examine your own situation. Write everything down. Document your moods during the day, what you’re eating, when you’re going to bed, and anything about your health that seems out of the ordinary. Start looking for trends so that when you do see your doctor you can deliver as full a picture as possible. Sometimes you might feel like things are hopeless and that you have no control over the way you feel, but in many cases, you do have at least some agency. Sure, these tips and tricks may not completely solve the problem, but they can’t hurt. Ultimately, doctors are here to help, but they aren’t all-knowing deities. They want patients to feel better, but they are only human. If there is a problem that we may be able to help fix, we should explore all other avenues available to us.
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By: Sohana Farhin/SHEC
An experiment conducted at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that the single biggest contribution to leading a happy life is showing gratitude to yourself and others in life. Being present in your experiences, taking in all the moments and pausing to show thanks is a significant factor in what makes life worth living. Keeping a gratitude journal to write down what you are thankful for each day is one of the ways in which you can show what you appreciate in life. This finding reflects many of the principles of positive psychology, which is a way of controlling your outlooks, perspectives, reactions and expectations in order to achieve happiness.
Buddhism has greatly inspired the field of positive psychology in western countries, including Canada. Central to Buddhism and positive psychology is the Eightfold Path, also referred to as the Middle Way or the Middle Path. It is an approach that proposes that nothing should be deprived, or taken in excess, but rather that we should strive to maintain a middle ground. Maintaining this “golden mean” is said to be the root of all happiness.
The Eightfold Path consists of eight interconnected “right” elements: view, intention, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness and contemplation. Right view is a way of seeing things for what they are, and not for what you hope they would be. With right intention, one consciously attempts to get rid of negative qualities. Similarly, by working towards abandoning hurtful thoughts and habits, one is embracing the pillar of right effort. Right speech and action refer to speaking the truth with compassion and engaging in respectful actions while refraining from harmful actions, respectively. Engaging in a career that is virtuous reflects the principle of right livelihood. Right mindfulness is a mental state of presence and awareness of your body and environment. Complementarily, right contemplation is being able to fully concentrate your attention towards something. Much research supports many of these elements as integral to health and happiness. For example, a recent study from Harvard found that relaxation-response techniques, such as meditation reduced the need for health care services by 43%. We can employ elements of the Eightfold Path to live life with a positive attitude.
As we grow weary of winter, let’s do our best to remain positive and keep the hearts of others and ourselves warm during this cold month of February. Certainly we can take a tip or two from the field of positive psychology to practice positivity in our daily lives.
Photo Credit: Burnjo
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