The familiar nervous jitters. The incessant rereading of text messages before sending them. The palpable awkwardness of your overly excited hello as you rush pass them on your way to class.

Was that too much?

It definitely was too much.

All of these feelings are often symptoms of the beginning stages of dating or “seeing someone” or whatever label-less emotion-inducing maze that can be best and unfortunately summarized as a “crush.” Sorry about the 90’s and early 2000‘s nostalgia.

I nudged my friend, motioning to my open text message chat, and asked if my question was “too forward.” I was asking my newfound texting buddy to come over to hang out with my group of friends, which was basically an introduction to an already long-established and extremely dysfunctional family. Nerve-wracking indeed.

But the thing was, this wasn’t a “crush.” I wasn’t interested in dating or a relationship. I just wanted to make a new friend, which is precisely when I realized an uncomfortable reality: making friends is very similar to dating.

Most people are familiar with the initial steps of “friend-dating.” First, the friend request on Facebook, otherwise known as the universal language for getting to know someone at a comfortable distance, both impersonal and padded by the online facade of edited profile pictures and overly analyzed comments. While Facebook friend requests don’t necessarily scream best friends forever, the exchange of numbers, often cited for a utilitarian purpose - you know, “in case I need to get a hold of you for school,” opens up a new intimacy. Call me old fashioned, but a phone number really means things are getting friendly.

If your conversations go beyond the realm of worrying about the upcoming midterm in your shared class or switching shifts at work, you proceed to the next step: casual chatting, often involving a hot beverage so you can avoid eye contact when necessary by taking a well-timed sip.

Once you figure out that you hate the same things, you move on to the “meeting the friends” stage, by inviting them to interact with you at a party or other social event. This is crucial. Can they be cool and have fun with your friends? If the answer is a resounding yes, you’ve found yourself a real keeper.

Then, the last and most important barrier to true friendship: the friend date. Typically, an exchange over all-you-can-eat sushi or greasy pizza, the friend date solidifies your friendship. Not only have you found someone you can hang out with after class, rely on to go to parties together, and text while waiting for appointments, but someone you who you can enjoy a one-on-one outing with. Not only are they interesting and fun to be around, but they like good food too. This date makes it official; you have made a new friend, which is a commendable accomplishment because making new friends can be difficult and stressful.

Bonus: sappy drunk texts that may or may not include the possibly misspelled words, “you’re seriously my best friend.” Maybe in that order, maybe not. But who cares? You’re friends now, and your new friend will be delighted to fill you in on your maybe-not-so-sober love fest.

By: Beth Barr

By: Mitali Chaudhary

How do you meet someone out of the blue, and proceed to talk about everything and nothing at all for extended periods of time? How do you navigate that fine line between questioning someone and asking smart questions? How do you practice the art of small talk without looking like you’re conducting a study on human social behaviour? For an introvert, surviving a bout of small talk is matter of life and death, but these tips will make it more like a casual stroll in the park.

1. Draw the other person out

To get someone talking about him or herself, ask general questions. Once you get them talking, half the work is already done and all you have to do is be a good listener. This includes asking questions for clarification to show continuing interest, when appropriate, as well as maintaining casual eye contact and actually listening.

2. Stick to general topics

This especially applies if you’ve only recently met and are still in that sort-of-strangers stage. If you’re at a party, you could start a dialogue about how you both know the host, how the food/drinks are or how the people seem so far. This can then serve as a segue to more personal topics (but not too personal! See point #3).

3. Ask the right (amount of) questions

Remember, it’s a simple conversation, not a job interview. Even though you’re trying to get to know someone, there’s no need for a rapid fire round of questions probing into someone’s personal life and experiences, nor does it add anything to the conversation if you aren’t familiar with the subject matter that you’re asking about. For example, if you don’t watch hockey and ask the other person whether they do, it could stilt the conversation since you probably won’t know what to say after they have responded.

4. Talk about something you’re passionate about

Your interest and excitement will show naturally if you talk about a hobby that you have or an activity you really enjoy partaking in. You’ll also be able to answer any questions easily and your unique personality will also show. However, it’s important to note that conversations are reciprocal. If one of you is doing all the talking, that’s a monologue, not a conversation. Be mindful to not become that person.

5. Act confident

Note that this doesn’t mean “be an asshole”. Instead, try to relax and show that you’re comfortable. This will put others, and yourself, at ease and will let the conversation between you flow more easily.

By: Daniella Porano

Meeting the family is one of the most stress-inducing parts of a relationship. Between the awkward introductions, like fumbling around or going for a handshake instead of a hug, and the onslaught of uncomfortable questions, like what you plan on doing with your life, it can be a downright terrifying experience. But have no fear, with these simple etiquette tips and your rockin’ personality, you’ll be sure to ace the first family date.

1. Do your research.

Remember, your partner is part of this family and is the best person to ask for information pre-meeting. Ask your partner about family customs, what they like, or bits of info to get a better understanding of them. Basically, dig around, especially for something that can be used as a conversation starter or to establish a commonality between a family member and yourself. Also, make sure your partner lets their family know of any dietary restrictions or other critical information to avoid uncomfortable kitchen/restaurant/event scrambles.

2. Be helpful and endlessly polite.

Always ask if assistance is needed in setting the table, preparing food, or cleaning up afterwards. Even if they decline, offering goes a long way.

3. Bring a small gift.

Personally, I think the best gifts are something everyone can share. If they love desert, bring along some pie or delicious pastries. If they enjoy drinking with dinner, bring a bottle of wine.

4. Take a page from the family.

Whether they do European-style double kisses, firm handshakes, dinner at 5 p.m., or 9 p.m., order takeout, or concoct a massive home-cooked meal, observe, follow their lead, and ultimately, be respectful of family traditions.

5. Step away from controversial debate topics.

This is not the time to bring up politics or religion, or really anything that makes people heated.  It never ends well.

6. Don’t just focus on your partner!

Interact with everyone and make an effort to engage in conversation with other people at the table.

7. Don’t put your partner down

Even if it’s a joke. Seriously, don’t .

8. Turn off your phone

Or, at least leave it in your coat pocket.

9. In terms of how to dress,

it’s a good opportunity to showcase a muted version of your personal style. I’d keep the skin exposure to a minimum and always lean towards the more conservative and clean-cut side of the clothing spectrum until you get to know them better. Meeting the family is almost like a job interview, so your first impression is incredibly important and can leave a lasting impact. Trust me, you don’t want to be “that person who wore a t-shirt that featured a sexually explicit Rob Ford quote to meet Grammy.”

10. Most importantly, be yourself.

As cheesy as this tip is, it’s important to be relaxed and show who you are. After all, you’re getting to know them as well.

 

The story of Jian Ghomeshi and his lawsuit against the CBC for wrongful firing will unravel itself accordingly. It will, undoubtedly, be the top media story for the weeks that follow.

On Sunday, when the CBC announced that it was ending its relationship with Jian Ghomeshi, it was revealed that the famous Q host had hired Navigator, one of Canada’s leading “high-stakes” public relations firms.

If it wasn’t clear before, the public now knew that honest or not, Ghomeshi’s Facebook status about his private sex life was a well-crafted PR technique. Ghomeshi has been a radio host since 2002 and running Q since 2007. Media strategy isn’t a foreign concept to him; he has used it to his advantage before, and he can use it again.

It is important that Ghomeshi fans don’t blindly follow his words as they might be inclined to. This is particularly tough in situations like Ghomeshi’s, where the man at the heart of the scandal is a famous radio broadcaster, known for facilitating societal debate.

A closer look at Ghomeshi’s status finds many problematic parts – those, too, clearly crafted with a purpose. In it, he calls his ex “jilted,” painting her as a crazy person who was so angry that he broke up with her that she wanted to defame him by “corroborating” with two other women.

This line worked on quite a few people; many comments on Ghomeshi’s post sound like one bro sympathizing with the other over the sexist myth of the crazy girlfriend.

This is not to say whether Ghomeshi is guilty or not. It’s the language he used to describe his ex, the way he decided to paint her character that makes the status seem disingenuous to anyone with some respect for women.

Then he goes on to talk about how consensual his relationship with these women was.

Knowing the definition of the word consent doesn’t mean much more than that. This controversy will hopefully spark a larger debate about consent, one that goes deeper than what we’ve limited ourselves to so far. Our conversations around sexual assault have been about rape on campuses, about no meaning no, or yes meaning yes, if you live in the more progressive parts of North America.

But we need to delve deeper than that.

In the case of Ghomeshi, whether he is guilty or not, there is a lot to be said about the complexities around consent. The women that the Toronto Star interviewed who accused Ghomeshi of sexual assault expressed concern that their consent to one thing over phone or text would be misinterpreted as consent to other, unwanted and violent acts. In this context, a “yes” at some point in their conversations didn’t mean yes to everything, or anything. What the public needs to understand, and what I hope mainstream media will emphasize in future articles is that consent is not transferable, nor is it a one-time deal. Consent is an on-going process that has to make both partners feel comfortable and heard.

Just because Ghomeshi knows when to use the word to incite the most sympathy from his followers doesn’t mean that he knows how to practice it properly, or that he does so at all.

On Tuesday, Lights, a well-known musician from Toronto, came out in support of Ghomeshi, stating that he has been her creative confidante and manager throughout her career. She said that he was someone who preached female empowerment to her, and therefore cannot be someone who would disrespect women in such a gross, offensive way.

This is a harmful and hasty generalization to make. It assumes that progressive people, men or women, cannot possibly be abusive. This sort of claim trivializes the experiences of anyone who has been abused by a partner who identifies as a feminist. It is unfortunate that these messages are being spread by public figures, but on the other side of the spectrum there have been celebrities like Owen Pallett who have refused to take Ghomeshi’s words at face value.

Ultimately, the radio host’s use of consent doesn’t necessarily mean that he didn’t abuse these women, and neither does his apparent history of support for female artists. Conversations like these are critical and how we approach them will determine how safe people feel opening up about their experiences with sexual and domestic abuse. Ghomeshi should not receive any special privileges because he has a faithful fan base, or because he can hire a company that knows how to shift blame away from their clients.

The controversy should be followed with a critical and open mind. Regardless of whether Ghomeshi is guilty of sexual assault, let’s not cause any more harm to survivors of abuse along the way. We can start by calling out Ghomeshi and his PR firm on their sexist and victim-blaming language.

By: Em Kwissa

Ah, post-Thanksgiving – the time when the honey-dipped optimism of summer makes way for the cool gray reality of autumn. The time that brings to an end the idealism of hometown hookups and vacation exploits, finding them far less attractive when faced with distance, obligations, and even just generalized staleness. A time of beginnings that bring endings. A time of turkey dumps!

So, right in time for the end of the summer fling or the three-year relationship that won’t survive the start of university, for all you evolved and civilized once-flame-now-burned people who are still friends on Facebook: A guide to the modern breakup, from the people watching it all unfold from the sidelines of your social media.

 1. Post constant status updates on Facebook and Twitter, preferably ones that can be accompanied by pictures of your face and/or body.

Obviously you’re handling this whole thing with maturity and grace. You are not emotional or really thinking about your ex at all, so the whole idea of taking some personal time to heal and move on is clearly for people who are Not You. Time to assure everyone that you’re doing well. What better way to do that than with pictures of your face and body? Look how cute and fun you are! You are clearly loving the single life! This barrage of staged photographs of you smiling in a bathing suit / in spandex / in a towel while you’re “At the beach!” / “At the gym!” / “Just relaxin’ today!” is neither transparent to your ex nor annoying as fuck to everyone else.

 2. Accidentally run into your ex.

Get dressed up and go out. Maybe go to places you used to go as a couple. Maybe go places you know your ex loves. Maybe go places you heard Julia say your ex would be. Better make sure you have a great pair of jeans on. Not that you have to prove to anyone that you are a total catch. You will just be chilling with your friends.

3. Catch up with old friends.

You know, the ones you never spoke to or saw for ages because you were too busy dating someone. Call them up! Let’s hang out! It’s not like you were at all crummy or neglectful! Take tons of selfies together! Look how many friends you have! And you know, you always wished you were closer with your ex’s friends... They seemed really cool. Well, breakups are a great time for self-improvement. Get out there and make friends, you! This won’t be weird at all.

4. Keep everyone updated on your every passing emotion throughout this process.

Sure, it’s a raw, emotional time, and your mind and heart are going to be changing every two to five minutes, but that’s why they made mobile apps. Why have an actual conversation with someone when you can just shout your feelings at everyone from your co-workers to your grandparents? It’s better this way. No one’s going to comment on a public Facebook post, “didn’t you say really awful things during the breakup?” or “do you think you’re maybe being a bit dishonest with yourself?” or “your poetry is really bad.”

5. Keep trying to “work things out” with your ex,

even though that is something people do to prevent a breakup, and you are, in fact, broken up. Give your ex that highly comprehensive list of character flaws you compiled. Dredge up all that old crap you never talked about when it was actually happening. Keep tabs on them through mutual friends and social media. If you’re going to stay friends, you’ll want all this out in the open. You’ll want to have it all worked out. And who wouldn’t want to be friends with you? You’re really nice until the chips are down and things get difficult, at which point you react the way any reasonable adult human would – by being mean to people you supposedly care about. Fair trade, right?

By: Alexandra Killan

On Sept. 8, a video of football player Ray Rice physically abusing his then-fiancée was released to the public. This high-profile case once again opened the difficult, sensitive, and serious discussion about the realities and complexities of domestic violence.

Domestic violence is any kind of abuse (physical, sexual and/or emotional) perpetuated by an intimate partner or ex-partner. Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate.  It is prevalent in all social groups, regardless of race, religion, gender, or income. Importantly, while domestic violence is often presented as a women’s issue, recent statistics support that men and women are affected almost equally, but with a higher degree of reporting among women.

In addition to being classified as a human rights violation, domestic violence can also have serious health consequences that can haunt the survivor after the tumultuous relationship has ended. Research has documented a wide range of serious problems that manifest themselves among victims, ranging from physical injuries and chronic pain, to sexual health issues, to mental health disorders, as well as post-traumatic stress disorder. The physical, mental and sexual consequences of domestic violence are often not addressed in a timely manner and because of this they can worsen, partially due to the shame many victims feel is associated with seeking help.

Where does this shame come from? It stems from the silence, stigma, and societal taboos around domestic violence. Those abused stay silent for a variety of reasons. As many victims are in long-term relationships, there is often some level of emotional involvement . They often blame themselves and excuse the behaviour of the abuser, while believing that they are the only ones that can help the abusers confront their demons.

Most importantly, the silence surrounding domestic violence means that many victims do not recognize the warning signs and patterns, which means they may fail to identify that they are being abused—and that they are not alone. One does not enter a relationship with an abusive partner willingly. That is, abusive and violent character traits are not visible from the beginning.  In addition to bringing attention to the horror and prevalence of domestic violence, the Ray Rice case also demonstrates a lack of societal understanding and sensitivity to this issue. Janay Palmer, now Rice’s wife, was his fiancée back in February, when the initial video of the abuse was recorded. In the aftermath of the video release, people were incredulous towards Palmer in her decision to stay with a man who beats her. In contrast, there was seemingly less outrage at Rice’s behaviour than one might expect. American author Beverly Gooden turned to Twitter in support of Palmer. She chose to disclose her reasons for staying in an abusive relationship and ended the tweet with the now iconic hashtag, #WhyIStayed. Soon, many joined in solidarity with Palmer, Gooden, and countless others who remain silent in the face of pain and suffering. The plethora of tweets and stories surfacing through other media emphasizes the prevalence and complexity of the domestic violence that surrounds us. As well as ignoring the intricacies of an abusive relationship, we often fail as a society to think about the consequences of ending an abusive relationship. The abuse doesn’t always end after the relationship is terminated; the abuser often stalks the victim, can manipulate related court proceedings, and may even resort to murder. Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has ended the relationship.

While the stories and their victims are unique, many of the themes are common: Family. Isolation. Love. Fear. Shame. Guilt. Dependency. These are some of the many emotions involved. Other considerations, such as careers, finances, and social status, are also taken into account.  Most dangerously, silence and loneliness pervade. In breaking down the silence, encouraging discussion, and offering a support, we can take the first steps in preventing more men and women from falling into the psychological trap of domestic violence.

So… you’re thinking of moving in together?

If you’re thinking of moving in with your partner, chances are you’ve thought long and hard about it. Making a legal commitment to someone is a huge step – one that you can only hope will turn out well. Most of the things people tell you to consider are often common sense: Can you be yourself around them? Do the two of you deal well with conflicts and disagreements? Are you doing it because you want to, or because you feel pressured? Do you feel comfortable farting around them?

Okay, fine, maybe not always the last one, but you get the point. There are so many questions you can ask, so many conversations you can have, and yet, how are you supposed to know what time is the right time to pack your bags, book a U-haul, and make a home out of your destination?

Jyss and Daire are moving in together in May. After sharing their love of television, Jennifer Lawrence and ice cream sandwiches for almost a year and a half, they’ve decided to add a home to the list of things they share.

Q: Why did you decide to move in together?

Daire: We spend almost all our time together, living in either my or her place. We have been really looking forward to it for a while, and since we know each other so well, we know exactly what we needed in our new place…Dishwasher! Laundry! Character! And also, you know, all the romance and stuff.

Jyss: We love each other, we live well together, and it feels like a natural step. Plus, we’ve been spending money on two separate apartments and two sets of groceries, so saving money is a huge bonus.

Q: Which one of you brought it up?

Jyss: My dad was actually the one to bring it up when I was searching for my own apartment last year.

Daire: We had only been dating for five months at that time. We were really surprised [by his suggestion] (“Whoa! Too soon!”), but we have not spent a night apart since… We have been casually apartment hunting since the fall, and started seriously looking after the holidays.

Q: What was the hardest part of the decision?

Jyss: We’ve been lucky. I can’t really say that there were any hard parts. Because we decided to live together several months before our leases end, we’ve had a lot of time to talk about what we’re looking for, in both our apartment and in our relationship, before we even started viewing places. It’s been a nice transition. If anything, deciding what amenities we wanted, along with location, was the hardest part, and reconciling that with our budget.

Daire: If I had to pick one, it’d probably be deciding whose furniture to keep and whose stuff to toss.

Q: Is there anything you’re concerned about?

Jyss: I’m a little worried about us making time to be apart. We love spending time together, and we share a lot of the same friends and interests, so we’re pretty inseparable. I want to make sure we have time apart to keep things fresh and keep our relationship healthy and long-lasting.

Daire: I think it’s normal to feel concerned, especially for couples moving in together who haven’t essentially lived together before. So I do have a little bit of apprehension – maybe it will feel different when everything is a mutual decision, rather than half of our decisions occurring in one or the other’s domain. This applies especially to decisions regarding buying things, as they will now take up shared space, rather than live in my place or her’s.

Q: What aspect of living together are you most looking forward to?

Daire: I can’t wait to officially start a life together, even though we’ve been “living together” for so long. This is the next step in our relationship and in our lives. I’m especially looking forward to waking up next to her in our bed, making her breakfast in our kitchen, and putting the dishes in our dishwasher!

Jyss: I’m excited to see our things together, to have “our” place. I’m also really excited to create a new home in Hamilton, instead of the compact, temporary nature of student housing, and I couldn’t imagine anyone better to do that with.

Q: Any advice for other couples considering moving in together?

Jyss: My best advice would be to talk about it− a lot. Talk about groceries, talk about money, talk about furniture: what you’ll have to contribute and what you’ll have to give up. I also think having a test run of say, a month, living together at one of your places full-time is really helpful. You get to know each other’s habits and pet peeves and you can create strategies for living together before you’re locked in legally.

Daire: I would definitely say to make sure you know that you can live together. How well do you deal with chores, housework, etc. as a couple? Do you have schedules conducive to living together? For us, since we’ve essentially lived together for our entire relationship it is hard to imagine not living together.

From a more practical standpoint, we have set up a joint bank account that we will use to pay our common expenses, such as rent, utility bills, groceries, cleaning supplies. This way, we don’t end up leaning on one person more for groceries, as we can both access the account and both contribute equally.

Miranda Babbitt
Assistant LifeStyle Editor

Having a panic attack on Valentine’s Day? First up, breathe. Second, peruse through the following suggestions to some common problemos.

I’m the only one alone!!!
Even though you’re not someone’s “one”, you’re not “the only one” single. 40% of the population won’t be going home to a cuddle-mate. Unless you count your furry friends in the feline and canine world, in which case 56% of us are going home to a glorious night of adorable cuddles. Bonus, they’re not expecting chocolate anytime soon (as in they die from it, yes).

My movie life is bombarded by rom-coms.
Teary eyes on Valentine’s Day are only okay if they’re from ROFLing (but I get if that’s too much physical activity - LMAO is cool too). So ditch the “rom” and stick to the “com”, with the near-classic, Bridesmaids. Or get in touch with your inner cooties-believer and watch “Frozen”, which graced the Oscars so it’s worthy for our adult, cultured eyes.

People think I have no plans.
Well, here is the riskiest but perhaps the easiest: lie. Nothing too grandiose, like saying you’ve been asked by three tall, dark, and handsome men if you would accompany them to Hawaii, but a small, “A fella from my stats class asked if he could make me dinner. Can’t give up a cooked meal on V Day.” Then go on about how you both love food, because I think that’s a universal similarity between all humans on Valentine’s Day. Or, stay moral, and say you’re planning on rounding up a bunch of gals and hitting the clubs (clubs, as in a sleepover for twenty-somethings who love the Notebook).

General anxiety issues.
Let me hear you say, namasteeee! Throw yo hands up in the air! But only if you’re doing a sun salutation, because we want you in that addictive meditative state all yogis strive to achieve. Yoga has the ability to reduce stress and decrease physiological arousal (in terms of symptoms related to stress… yoga doesn’t harm your sex life), so you can walk away super calm and super cool.

I just want someone to buy me a drank.
Turn on some Beyonce and and get your hands dirty! A blood orange margarita promises that Valentine’s Day festivity without the potentially sleazy offer of that guy lurking on you from down the bar. Invite a friend or two over and you’re night is now flawless.

Miranda Babbitt
Assistant LifeStyle Editor

Up until my graduate year of high school, I had always imagined my upcoming trips to campus to be a pleasant ritual of a ten-minute car ride, give or take the time to brew a cup of tea, orient myself with the local headlines or some other blissful sounding way to start my morning – like a sun salutation in an all white yoga suit. Of course, I can safely say now that the expected ritual I once imagined turned into a four-hour flight across the country, with five bags of luggage and quietly weeping parents in tow. Home is now a three-hour time difference away and has left me with a vocabulary of apparently province-specific words, like “pinner” (something small and meager) and “LG” (stands for “little girl”; a young person who dresses like an adult). Ah yes. It is the beautiful land of British Columbia that greets me every winter break, the odd reading week and each summer. It will always be my one and only home.

And yet, how can it be? A home is a place of safety and comfort and can extend beyond the walls of your residence. It’s a place where once foreign landmarks, be it a touristy statue or that mailbox on the corner of your street, have distinct memories engraved into their structures. It’s a place complete with relationships that leave you feeling loved and respected.

By this logic, Hamilton has been a place I can call home since only a few months into first year. I remember arriving back home for winter break and saying to my family, “That jail cell sized dorm of mine is just like home already.” First there was the string of defensive remarks contesting how I could even have our home and “jail cell” in the same sentence, but then came an instinctive understanding from my parents who’ve also found a sense of home in spots all over B.C. and Ontario.

Finding a home takes time though, no matter where you are. The beginning of first year can feel as though you’re getting suited up for a new life so quickly you haven’t had time to let them know that one foot is bigger than the other and you won’t be able to fit now and this whole thing is just not going to work and put me back on that plane.

But then life slows down again. And one day you’ll wake up realizing that this city is the perfect fit for you, hugging you just like home did.

Okay, once in a blue moon does it happen that dreamily. Yes, some people may have experienced a transition as dreamy as waking up and considering what’s around them home overnight, but others had to work for it. I had to work for it. And I feel as though most people do too. But today Hamilton has opened my eyes to a home I never once imagined growing up, and fuels each return to BC with a renewed recognition of the totally applicable clichéd, “Home is where the heart is.”

Speaking from personal experience, I’ll leave you with some tips on what worked for me in tackling homesickness and finding love for a place far from home.

1.Explore your city as much as you can, and as soon as you can. Knowing the quirks and secret gems of a city you once viewed as nothing but a foreign land of different fast food chains is both liberating and adventurous. It’s as though you share a personal relationship with the city itself. Sharing your favourite spots with a visiting friend or family solidifies this notion, as you guide them through art galleries and coffee shops unique to your new home.

2.Make wherever you rest your head at night look like a place you could call home, even if it doesn’t feel that way just yet. Even though my dorm may have always looked like a jail-cell to my parents, and likely yours as well with those white brick walls and grimy window, a dorm can feel like a cozy little sanctuary. And it should feel this way! (See B8 for some ideas on how this can be achieved.)

3.Try calling your family on the way to class if your phone plan permits. Those ten-minute phone calls can fit in an impressive amount of catching up and are key to feeling as though you’re not simply building a new life and forgetting who’s thinking about you from back home. Make sure to slip your home address to a few family and friends too, because, you never know, they might decide to brighten your day with a little package of bath salts and chocolates.

4.Visit a friend’s home nearby. Sometimes just going through the motions of living in a family home can provide a comforting sense of positivity that you’re not that far off from going home again, or allow you to appreciate the quirks of what makes your house back home. Even if it’s not your own, clean bathrooms, home-cooked meals, and fresh sheets can drill themselves into your psyche that you are cared for.

5.When the holidays come around but you can’t make your way back home, an empty house can appear to be the perfect place to catch up on some sweet, much needed rest. But don’t overestimate the amount of alone time you’re able to handle. I once made the mistake of choosing to spend Thanksgiving on my own rather than visiting a friend’s house, only to very quickly realize that the images of myself singing and baking cupcakes were meant to be replaced with a suddenly echoing house and creaks in spots I thought were uninhabited (re: attic). After recognizing that I am no ghost buster, my sleeps were blissfully uninterrupted by paranormal activity at a friend’s house nearby.