By: Andrew Richards
Being on the other side of my five years here at McMaster, I cannot picture my journey any other way. Although there were times when things may not have gone as planned, there was never a moment in time where I felt like I was not in the right spot.
When I was first asked to write this article, I was kind of uncomfortable because I felt like it makes it seem like I have my act together when I really do not. I am just a senior university student who is still figuring things out. But these are the things that I have learned during my time at Mac and maybe they can help others, especially those who are just starting out on their journey.
One thing we are often told to do in athletics and academics is to set these goals for ourselves, especially big end goals. I used to be a big believer of that, and I have made my own goals, but I think there's a different way to look at it.
If you change your mind from, ‘I'm focusing on one big goal’ to, ‘what's one thing today I can get better at’, you are able to get more results. Instead of just chasing after one thing, you are also trying to make yourself better. For me, working on improving every day has made me go further. For example, instead of setting a goal of getting a certain grade, set a goal to study harder every day, and eventually you can reach that goal of getting the grade you want.
It sounds a little cheesy, but I think university is very hard especially as a first-year. Everyone experiences those moments where things really are not going well. So I think one thing that's really important, no matter what you're going through, is to be your own advocate and your own friend.
Things are not always going to go so well, so you have to be the first one to let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself. In the past, I have put a lot of pressure on myself and have been my own worst critic. Looking back now, I know that you cannot expect other people to forgive you or let you off the hook if you can't do that for yourself.
One thing that we are lucky to have at Mac is the amazing people that are around us. It is a lost opportunity for someone to try and get through four or five years on their own. Everyone you meet at McMaster, you can take something away for them. Whether it be by building a relationship with them, or by being inspired by them.
Even if you don't love stuff about them you can still learn from them, and it would be a disservice to yourself and to others to not take advantage of these connections.
This is something that I struggled with earlier on. Before I came into university, all the teams that I played on before I had a large role. But when I first got here, I was a small fish in a big pond. So it was difficult for me, and I'm sure a lot of other athletes, because you want to start feeling like you're contributing right away.
Though when I look back at the past five years, I am super proud of everything I have done with my team. I know now that everything happens in time and if you try to force things to happen when it is not time, it will not always work out the way you want it to. Don't be upset if things are not going your way right away, just know that you have time and if you have a plan, things will work out eventually.
One really important thing in all this is realizing there's no one way to do all of this. There's a lot of amazing people at Mac, but the coolest thing is that everyone is unique. As athletes, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to fit a mould, or to be a certain way.
Looking back, something I wish I allowed myself to do more was just be my unique self. I think it is exhausting trying to put on a face. After being around so many unique people at Mac, if I could go back and encourage my first-year self anything, it would be to just be myself.
I may not have it all figured out, but one thing I do know is that these five things are principles I am going to carry with me as I move forward in life. Whether I go on to play professional volleyball or into the work world, I know that if I always take these lessons with me, it will help take me to my next goal.
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Kyle West
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This photography series was inspired by comparing classic symbolism of unity and strength with consideration to the themes of Sex and the Steel City. Across the world and throughout many diverse culture, the symbol of holding hands can be seen to communicate intimacy or a close relationship.
Taking this symbol and empowering it through strong vertical compositional choices lend the viewer to perceive these couples and their love as prevailing. The stylistic choices are a nod towards the strength and monumentality of the landscape work of Ansel Adams and the influential portraiture of Platon. Ultimately, Come Together is a story of love, unity and partnership and my best ability to document this.
Kyle West is a Hamilton-based photographer. He is in his final year of art history at McMaster University and is currently the Photo Editor for the Silhouette. West has developed a particular interest in portraiture over the years, often times turning to digital and film photography to capture his subjects in a beautiful light. From perfectly timed scenes of bustling city streets on film to carefully composed landscapes and journalistic endeavours, West also utilizes his photography as a means for storytelling.
Erin Nantais
This digital drawing entitled “Shower Scene” explores ideas and themes of intimacy that are typically uncomfortable for individuals to openly discuss.
Sex and sexuality are often unnecessarily forbidden topics that need to be reimagined as natural and normal.
Through this piece, sexuality is explored and depicted as natural, normal and familiar.
Simple lines and colours along with a minimalistic look are used to enhance the idea of intimacy as a normal and acceptable human experience.
Erin Nantais is a fourth year multimedia student at McMaster University. She typically works with photography and graphic design. Her personal style of work emphasizes strong lines and simple colour schemes to create a distinctive digital feel. Creative portraiture and animal photography are main sources of inspiration for most of Nantais’ work. Nantais has always been interested in art and photography and through her work she’s found a digital style that incorporates elements of both.
Jet
[Best_Wordpress_Gallery id="221" gal_title="SATSC Jet"]
Jet’s artistic process relies heavily on research into my chosen focus. It starts with the inquiry: “I want to understand more about…” as they then experiment with different mediums until they find the right material and presentation of their idea. Visualization is the key to their process where they push the boundaries of my idea and test as many possibilities as they can. When the piece is ready for an audience, Jet prefers the audience takes part in the outcome of the work itself.
Jet works mainly with performance, video, sculpture, photography and painting. They try not to ever limit myself to one medium. Jet encounters ideas that seem to float in the air and works with them, listens to them, becomes them and finds the best method to allow the work to exist in harmony with the audience.
Jet’s practice often explores the human body in all of its physical and ethereal elements. Throughout their life they have always made space for themselves to imagine and work out complex issues. This gives them the head space to create and transform what is not yet physical into a tangible piece.
Jet is a multidisciplinary artist who emigrated from Mexico in 2009. They grew up feeling that they didn’t always belong. Social norms, family, friends, peers, the state, and especially an oppressive culture of dominance, sought to limit the creativity of their soul. Now their work reflects a rebirth of expression, and the power of the artist’s will to transform the unseen beauty that surrounds them.
Cait Gautron
[Best_Wordpress_Gallery id="225" gal_title="SATSC Cait Gautron"]
In her first piece, Eviscerate (3016), in using fruit to mirror anatomy Cait Gautron was seeking to question ideas of ripeness and primacy in media surrounding sex. Shadowing the piece are ideas of destruction and decay. With these characteristics she playfully seeks to evoke viscera while using approximate substitutes to create a surreal and dreamlike atmosphere.
Coercion (2018), oil on canvas. With this work, Gautron seeks to raise issues around social and institutional factors which motivate consent and the fear felt by participants who may unknowingly fall in to the role of perpetrator or victim.
In oil paints Gautron seeks to explore the delicate balance between desire and disgust, growth and decay, inherit in human anatomy. Raised by an artist mother, the majority of her early artistic education came from exploring the galleries and museums of Europe in her early teens. In that time she became enamoured with the lustre of Vermeer’s still lifes and the contortion of Schielle’s portraits. Currently enrolled in her second year of McMaster University’s studio arts program, Gautron has just began to show her work around Hamilton and Ontario.
Kayla Da Silva
[Best_Wordpress_Gallery id="227" gal_title="SATSC Kaylita"]
or nothing at all.
It’s 11:07 am.
You check your phone.
For a moment
you can’t breathe
and then breathing
happens all at once.
Too fast. Too frequent.
Depression lingers
in the depths of your mind
and anxiety holds
you by the throat.
_
It’s 9:27 pm.
You ask them to choose you,
but they show you
they never will.
Over and over again.
You knew all along
this was going
to happen.
The red flags
waved furiously
but they were in
your blind spot.
_
Now.
You are accompanied
by your old friend,
insomnia.
You are enveloped
with exhaustion,
and gently embraced
by the solace of truth.
Sometimes
you have to choose if
you want to pick
the dandelion
or the rose
or nothing at all.
The artwork accompanied by the poetry is meant as a reflection of relationships that are emotionally damaging. More times than never, an individual in the relationship may not be aware of how complicated the situations were until leaving them.
The series is meant to highlight the mental turmoil an individual can experience when the pattern of behaviours from a partner negatively impacts their state of mind. When being in a complicated relationship, it can often lead to an internal conflict when they are in-love with their partner.
The difficult question is; how long can one hold on to what appears to be a rose when the thorns cause trauma? A partner should never put you in a position where you need to routinely put your wellbeing at risk.
Kayla Da Silva, also known as Kaylita, is a creative and a designer. She has found her poetry to be a suitable companion to the visuals she creates. She holds a Bachelors of Arts in multimedia and communications from McMaster University and currently resides in Hamilton, Ontario working full-time as a junior graphic designer.
Instagram: @iamkaylita
Matty Flader
CW: Disordered eating
For me, sex and food have always had their limbs awkwardly intermingled (in a no eye contact Grindr hookup sort of way). I know what you’re thinking: “how deep, bananas look like dicks and I’m entirely enthused and kind of turned on.” Yet, the story of this photograph is really one of inner turmoil, anguish and ultimately resistance. The food/fuck correlation, as I call it, has lingered like an unwanted houseguest in my head for quite some time now. It goes something like this: the less sex I’m having the less I feel I’m allowed to eat. In times of plentiful or at least grandiose sexual conquest, I can take a breath… or, a bite I guess. The logic is as desperate as it is simple. If I’m not getting laid, I better stop snacking and start looking like a snack. The food/fuck correlation not only problematically frames sex as some prize for me to win, it also leads me through disorderly cycles of eating. It’s all too easy for the things I did or didn’t eat to change my self-perceived body image.
This self portrait is meant to picture the undying torment food puts me through. Putting a voice to this struggle challenges the hegemonic belief that men, those wonderful, tenacious beasts, could never develop eating disorders. The photo challenges the societally constructed ideal of a man who is too tough to feel pain. Inability to conform to this ideal can strip one of his own masculinity. As men the borders of our gendered and sexual identities are constantly under scrutiny by our peers. For most, it’s far easier to conform by reproducing masculinity however they see possible. As a result, men are taught that being normal means never being vulnerable. Expressions of masculine insecurity like my food/fuck anxiety are constantly pushed to the margins of society. I say fuck that. Through this photo I proudly shout: I am a man, I have feelings, sometimes I feel insecure, but here I am. And hey, I bet you’d still fuck me.
Matty Flader is an emerging artist based in Hamilton, Ontario and Vancouver, British Columbia. He takes an interdisciplinary approach to art projects, with a specialization in portrait photography. Flader’s work concerns a broad range of topics, including gender performance, eating abnormality and responses to current events. He often challenges difficult ideas through a humourous lens in attempt to bring attention to the absurdity of this world.
Instagram: @matt_der
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By: Jackie McNeill
When I had friends over as a kid, I would pull my mom aside after a few hours and ask, “When are they going to leave?” It’s not that I wasn’t having fun — I loved seeing my friends, but this time with others never failed to become draining and leave me with a need for some alone time.
While I once thought this desire to be alone was abnormal and unhealthy, as I got older I learned to take advantage of it to promote self-improvement. Left alone with just my thoughts, I’ve had the opportunity to think critically about who I am as a person, what I like about myself and what I want to do better.
Learning about who I was, both outside and inside of my relationships with others, and working to better myself has helped to increase my self-esteem exponentially over years of self-reflection.
I’ve experienced how this increase in self-esteem has aided my relationship with myself, but studies show that it can also benefit the way we interact with others.
Megan McCarthy, a professor in the department of psychology at the University of Waterloo, suggests that people with low self-esteem are more likely to stay in unhappy relationships with others, resulting from their resistance to recognize and address problems.
“People with a more negative self-concept often have doubts and anxieties about the extent to which other people care about them,” explained McCarthy.
The self-concept is our idea of self, constructed through a combination of our own beliefs about ourselves and how others respond to us. A negative self-concept, then, can cause someone to assume negative reactions towards them and therefore avoid confrontation or conflict as a defense against these assumptions being actualized.
So, an increase in self-esteem can certainly improve romantic relationships, but those are not the only relationships we experience. Every interaction we have, be it with friends, family, or even our co-workers, can benefit from the practice of self-love and self-care.
Time alone also increases communication with the self through self-awareness. When I spend time alone, my own thoughts, feelings and desires become my priority. This has helped me realize that communicating with myself should remain a priority throughout my life, including when I interact with others, paving the way for honest and open relationships.
In addition, being self-aware has allowed me to be more receptive of others’ thoughts, feelings and desires, which may reflect similar concerns or insecurities that I possess. By reflecting upon the self, we can become more sensitive and considerate towards the people we build relationships with.
It is important to note that my idea of alone is not one size fits all. Spending time alone can simply mean loneliness for some people, and as a Psychology Today article explains this can lead to anxieties, depression, or reminders of loss and abandonment.
McMaster University’s Prof. Tara Marshall illustrates this idea through the example of a breakup.
“After a breakup, people who are more secure in relationships and have higher self-esteem are more likely to desire some time alone,” explained Marshall.
“They may engage in some personal growth-enhancing experiences. People high in anxious attachment, on the other hand, desire to go on the rebound after a breakup,” she added.
Marshall went on to explain that humans are social by nature and we have a need to belong to social groups as our survival has depended on it throughout history. So it is important to balance time spent alone with socialization, just as it’s important to get to know yourself and what will work well for your own self-esteem.
The point of this time spent alone is to improve your feelings about yourself, but also to use this to positively affect your relationships with others. What works for me won’t work for everyone, but maybe by sharing my experience others will venture to learn more about themselves and how they interact with others.
Of course, when trying to self-reflect as a student several issues present themselves. Our days are packed with studying, interactions with peers everywhere on campus, trying to balance friends, a job, finishing that essay and visiting family; our minds never get a break.
So how do you get some quiet time in a busy day? Try the silent study in Mills— it’s a great way to ease yourself into being alone because you’re surrounded by other students, but everyone is focused on their own work. There’s no opportunity for socialization to distract you from yourself.
Sitting still can be difficult, so go for a walk alone in a quiet neighbourhood. No phone calls or music, just reflect on that day or what’s to come and make an effort to think positively.
If these options take too much time, go to bed 20 minutes earlier than usual and let your mind wander while trying some deep breathing. This can help ease stress and relax your mind, leaving it open for reflection.
This time alone allows you to drop what Psychology Today calls your “social guard.” Pay attention to how you behave alone and compare it to how you behave around others, and maybe work to let some of your “alone” self bleed into your public persona.
Whether you crave alone time like me or not, we can all benefit from a bit of self-reflection to better our relationship with ourselves and others. Self-awareness and the resulting higher self-esteem make an impact on the way we interact with others, and can keep our relationships open, honest and healthy.
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If you browsed through social media on Jan. 30, chances are you saw #BellLetsTalk circulating around. Political leaders, celebrities, corporations and even McMaster University shared the hashtag in support of “ending the stigma” around mental illness.
Success and meaning can be found along many paths, but the paths can be rough and winding. | @McMasterSWC #BrighterWorld #BellLetsTalk https://t.co/fzBIjSte6G
— McMaster University (@McMasterU) January 30, 2019
But like #BellLetsTalk, McMaster’s mental health initiatives seem more performative than anything else. While offering “self-care” tips and hour-long therapy dog sessions can help students de-stress and perhaps initiate conversations about mental health, it alone is not sufficient.
This sentiment is shared amongst many other students and has been brought up time after time. It is truly disheartening then that the university seems to do little to meaningfully address students’ concerns.
https://twitter.com/calvinprocyon/status/1090777829510397952
Instead of investing in more counsellors at the Student Wellness Centre or restructuring their support systems on campus, starting Feb.4, McMaster is running Thrive Week. Thrive Week is a week-long initiative aimed to “explore [students’] path to mental health”. The week boasts events including yoga, Zumba and meditation circles.
There is no doubt that engaging in wellness and mindfulness activities, including activities like yoga and Zumba, can help alleviate some of the stresses of university and can positively benefit your mental health.
However, it is in itself not enough to actually help students overcome mental health issues. McMaster acknowledges that most students seem to experience, at least during some point in their undergraduate career, mental health issues. This is telling of a systemic issue. Mental health issues are largely attributable to socioeconomic factors. Financial strain, food insecurity and lack of a responsive administration can all factor into developing mental health issues as a student.
The best way to help students is to address the root of the problem, which often lies within the very structures of the university. Until McMaster addresses these systemic issues, yoga classes and wellness panels will do little to remedy students’ concerns.
Beyond addressing systemic issues, students struggling with mental health issues can’t colour their issues away; they require professional help. It is true that the university offers trained peer-support volunteers at services like the Student Health Education Centre and the Women Gender and Equity Network, but again, this is not enough. The responsibility of students’ mental health should not fall on the shoulders of other students.
If the university truly cared about their students’ mental health, they would invest in more counsellors and actively work towards ensuring that waiting times at SWC aren’t months on end. They would make systems for receiving academic accommodations more accessible, as they currently require students to provide documentation of diagnosed mental health issues.
Talk is cheap. So are free Zumba classes. While raising awareness and reducing the stigma around mental is important, what students need is real change to ensure there are actual support systems on campus. The university has a responsibility to make that change happen.
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Shamudi Gunasekera
The Silhouette
Once, when my high school philosophy class was having a discussion, one of my closest friends mentioned that he liked to play video games as a hobby and a girl in my class asked him why he wouldn’t rather go out with his friends. He didn’t reply but I felt that he didn’t like that question very much. What the girl didn’t understand was that his way of connecting with his friends was playing games with them online. Just because her idea of having fun was to go out to clubs with her friends, it didn’t mean that others had to share that same idea. Personally, I despise clubs, but I see why people would consider them to be fun.
Growing up, I never fit in.
I liked to keep to myself. In middle school, I used to read in class while my friends giggled amongst themselves. It was easy for me to drown out the sounds of people talking.
Even now, I don’t really seem to fit in anywhere. I’m tired of being made fun of by others for my taste in music and activities.
For instance, I listen to My Chemical Romance. But that doesn’t give anyone the right to make me feel inferior just because they may not like their music. The fact that they’ve stopped producing music does not matter to me at all.
They will always remain a favorite of mine, and no one can make me feel like I should have a “better’ taste in music. It’s just an example of one of the many genres of music that I listen to.
I’m scattered all over the place. A little bit of everything.
That’s what most people are.
It’s just so easy for us to throw people into a category. We go around compulsively labeling people we see. I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand that we are all diverse. We are all unique. We can’t be neatly fit into a stereotype.
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to read John Green. You don’t have to enjoy reading for pleasure to be considered an intelligent individual.
There’s always going to be someone who hates something you love.
So go ahead and buy that Panic! At The Disco album. Sing along to One Direction in the solitude of your room while dancing. Go to that My Chemical Romance concert - actually, you can’t because they’ve disbanded. Do things you like. Listen to bands you like. Read books you enjoy. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You don’t have to pretend to like things that you don’t. You don’t have to adhere to anyone else’s view of what’s good or bad. It doesn’t matter what they think. Do whatever makes you happy. The best thing you can do is be yourself.
Graciela Analiz
Things are looking dismal out there. We’re more materialistic than ever; we can’t tell the difference between needs and wants and we equate happiness with material goods. And despite the rather pessimistic view of what has become of us, I’ve noticed something over the past few years—I’ve become a little less attached to stuff.
I wasn’t the only one with this inkling. The Journal of Consumer Research noticed it back in 2007, when Lan Nguyen Chaplin and Deborah Roedder John conducted a study looking at materialism in children and adolescents. It so happens that between ages 8 and 13 our lust for possessions reaches all-time highs, but by late adolescence this lust begins to decline.
This brought me back to the good ol’ tween years, the age I thought (rather naïvely) that I could make myself twenty times better than I actually was. I was hopeful, maybe too hopeful, and definitely too idealistic. This is exactly what advertising takes advantage of - presenting us with an ideal self. They don’t want us to be content with who we currently are and what we own. It’s not surprising then why they flock to this age group.
But getting older has this thing of thwarting these sorts of hopes. So you get more realistic and realize that this is about as good as it’s going to get. Sure, you and I, and a whole lot of other people are still figuring it out, but with time we grow more comfortable with ourselves and plant our feet a little firmer to the ground. It’s not that advertising stops working altogether, consumerism is enough evidence against that, but it loses a bit of its edge.
The surer we are about ourselves the less effective advertising is, and advertising is, after all, what fuels materialism.
Mind you, becoming a little less attached to worldly possessions doesn’t suddenly make me an ascetic. The passage of time won’t ever completely heal us of our materialistic ways.
But in this age and generation characterized by the incessant need to have, getting older and a little less materialistic is a victory, a small one, but a victory nonetheless.
