On the evening of Jan. 24, Josh Marando was voted in as the next unofficial president-elect of the McMaster Students Union.
Marando, a fourth year arts and science student, garnered over 600 first-choice votes compared to the second-place candidate Jeffrey Campana.
Overall, Marando received 40 per cent of the 2,654 first-place votes.
Marando’s platform consists of 12 pillars, touching on issues like mental health support, sexual violence and education costs.
Marando learned of the news of his victory via a phone call from the current MSU president Ikram Farah at 9:00 p.m. on Jan. 24.
He was surprised by how early he got the call.
“I was not expecting to hear as soon as we did. Last year, I knew that they heard at around 3:10 a.m, so when Ikram called me at 9:00 p.m., I was not really sure. I thought she was joking at first. I really expected her to say, ‘Just kidding,’” Marando said.
Marando was relieved to hear he won, admitting the last few days of the campaign were the most stressful ones. On the last day of polling, he went home in the afternoon to relax on his own before his campaign team gathered to await the results.
“We just invited the core team over because either way we just wanted to be happy because I think we did run a pretty good campaign and I think we are all pretty proud of the work that we did, regardless of what the outcome would have been,” said Marando.
After receiving word of his victory, Marando quickly sent a text to his parents.
“I sent a nice little text in our group chat just saying that I won,” Marando said. “I think my parents still don't fully understand what it is. They do not really know what the MSU does. There are obviously so supportive because they know it's something I have been working on for a very long time and they're just very, very excited.”
Looking ahead to the next few months, Marando said he will begin implementing smaller projects, like creating a student lounge in the McMaster University Student Centre, while continuing to consult different services on bigger projects, like academic accessibility and mental health support.
Marando is also focused on formulating a plan to advocate against the provincial government’s changes to the Ontario Student Assistance Program and student fees.
“Something that I am trying to do is fully understand the changes, fully see what impact that will have on students and see what we could do differently than what we were doing before,” Marando said. “We have been advocating to this government for however many months now and we still saw this happen, so clearly something needs to change.”
Reflecting on his campaign, Marando believes he was successful because his message resonated with what students truly wanted.
“Something that we really try to do is just talk to students and see what exactly they wanted, and also some things that they would have wanted when they were in first year,” Marando said. “The people see the MSU president that shirt and jacket and suit and it feels very disconnected from students, but I think the real way that you can create meaningful change is by being one of the students and really connecting with them during this process.”
Slated to begin his term in May, Marando is excited and optimistic about the job in front of him.
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One of the biggest talking points that most candidates make when running for a seat on the Student Representative Assembly is transparency. The word has been tossed around so much that it has basically become a buzzword. But transparency is more than just a talking point; it’s an incredibly important behaviour that the SRA needs to adopt.
During the SRA meeting on Jan. 20, the SRA discussed how they can make their assembly more survivor-centric. Namely, a motion was passed to task the vice president (Administration), in collaboration with the sexual violence response coordinator Meaghan Ross, to develop an amendment to the constitution which includes an emergency response procedure for sexual violence.
This occurred after an SRA member was accused of engaging in sexual assault and another member supported that member. As of now, the SRA cannot ask these members to step down from their positions, only suggest that they should.
The proposed changes to the constitution could allow the SRA to remove such members from their assembly. This is important news in support of survivors, but unfortunately this information has not been made widely available.
Navigating the SRA website is far from an easy task. While the interface itself is user-friendly, information is difficult to find. For example, one would think that meeting minutes from SRA meetings would be listed under SRA minutes but this webpage only contains broken links from April 2018. The actual minutes from SRA meetings are posted under SRA documents amidst other documents and memos.
The minutes themselves are lengthy and filled with unfamiliar jargon that the average student should not be expected to know. This length and volume leads to the vast majority of students not reading the minutes and remaining unaware of the changes that are occurring within the university.
Beyond the content of the minutes, it is also unclear when the meeting minutes are posted. Two weeks ago, on Jan. 9, I was searching for the Jan. 6 meeting minutes, found nothing, and was forced to watch the hour-long livestream to understand what happened.
Though the Jan. 6 meeting minutes are posted now, they are posted under the Jan. 20 heading. I’m not sure when they were posted considering that nowhere on the SRA site do they state when they post meeting minutes after each meeting. Students should not be expected to consistently check the site or watch hours of livestream footage to stay informed.
Instead, minutes should be posted as soon as they are available. A three-day turnaround seems more than reasonable.
If the meeting minutes take long to post, at the very least the SRA or its individual caucuses should create summary documents for students to review. These documents can forgo the jargon and essentially list the important details that were discussed.
Students interested for more information can then consult the meeting minutes, or better yet, review a transcript of the livestream, which remain available to view after the meetings occur. I understand that it is difficult to transcribe a live meeting however, in the interests of accessibility, SRA meetings should be transcribed afterwards to allow individuals who require accommodations the ability to access the livestream videos.
Moreso, when watching the Jan. 20 livestream, a comment was made that some of the information that was discussed would not be included in the meeting minutes. There must be a reason — not all comments made are deemed important enough to include in the minutes — but if the SRA would like to be considered transparent, these comments should be made available for students to interpret on their own. A transcript of the meetings could provide this transparency.
This is not the first time that the SRA has been called out for its lack of transparency. As a governing body that is meant to represent the entire student body of McMaster University, the SRA has a responsibility to do better. The SRA is making some important, positive changes for the university — if only students were aware.
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WARNING: This article contains graphic descriptions of rape and mention of suicide.
I was a Welcome Week representative in 2012, and I met John Doe*, a fellow rep, through some friends. We didn’t work directly together, but he hung out with us often. I thought he was funny, we had the same taste in music, but I never thought of him as anything more. My friends were close to him, and I liked my friends, so it all seemed great. It was after our fourth encounter with each other that he raped me.
It was the day of the Yates Cup. I had gone to a friend’s before the match for some drinks. I was happily drunk but felt the cold November wind hitting my cheeks as the game crept closer to half time. My friends texted me that they were at TwelvEighty and there was an extra seat for me.
As I entered TwelvEighty, I saw John and my friends. I had run out of money and waved my debit card around, asking for a drink. The bartender said that if I had no cash, I had to buy a pitcher in order to use my card. I did so and ended up drinking most of it.
John got up and stretched, and announced that he was going to go for a walk. I was beginning to feel nauseous and figured that joining him would be a good way to sober up. We walked until we found a stairwell. He sat on the stairwell while I fell on them. I remember his face getting closer to mine slowly. He kissed me and I could hear footsteps approaching. People passed by, the match was still going on. I felt exposed and uncomfortable.
I suggested to him that we should go into a private room. I wanted to talk and I wanted for us to be alone. I wasn’t thinking about kissing him more. To be honest, I genuinely wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, I was just drunk. I know I didn’t encourage him, but I clearly didn’t express myself as properly as I wished.
We went into a room in the arts quad basement. He turned off the light and I sat on the ground as standing had become too tricky.
He pulled his pants down and tried to shove himself into my mouth. I was frozen. Somewhere in the back of my mind the phrase “freeze, fight or flight” popped up, and I cursed myself for having the worst reaction.
“Get on that bench.” he said. At that point in time I was so dumbfounded that any short instruction seemed sensible. He pulled off my jeans. I realized what his intentions were, and mustered up the strength to cover myself with both of my hands and said loudly, “No. Stop. I don’t want to. No. Stop.”
I remember him pulling my hands away. He pressed his lips against mine, hard. I remember hearing him grunt, and the occasional loud cheer from TwelvEighty came through the walls. My insides were screaming for my body to get up, to punch, to do anything, but I was incapable of moving. I was scared of his strength. Not physical, as he was short and smaller than me, but his mental strength – the fact that he ignored my pleas frightened me.
Something began to buzz in the room: my friends whom I left outside at the game were attempting to find me. They kept calling. Eventually, he stopped. I had sobered up enough by then to hop off the piano bench, pull up my pants, pick up my phone. We left the room and he headed back to TwelvEighty while I made a beeline for MUSC. As I left he called out, “See you around, eh?”
Somewhere in the back of my mind the phrase “freeze, fight or flight” popped up, and I cursed myself for having the worst reaction.
I went to the Student Centre and ran into my friends. The shock settled in minutes after and I told my friends what had happened. They took me to Shoppers to buy a Plan B.
The next few days blurred together. I showered for 45 minutes washing every inch of my skin, hoping that the harder I scrubbed, the less dirty I’d feel. I couldn’t sleep. School didn’t matter. I lived off-campus and I would leave the house earlier because I didn’t want to face my parents.
I told my friends later on that day. It was confusing to them because they knew him for years. They said they believed me, but within that week they also told me that he made a mistake and they would remain friends with him.
John Doe called me the very next day and told me he knew I told our mutual friends, and that I was wrong. He declared he did have consent because I took him to the private room. A few days after this, I was with a friend, who was also a good friend of John Doe, but was supporting me during this time. John Doe called me, and I put it on speaker so she could hear what he was saying. He warned me again not to tell anyone, and claimed I was being ridiculous. “Am I always supposed to ask a girl if she wants to have sex with me?” he said in a sarcastic tone. I was stunned. His friend looked at me with an unfathomable expression. I hung up.
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My close friends were trying to convince me to report him, but even I was confused as to whether this was rape or not.
I even went to my old high school and confronted two of my closest teachers about what had happened. It hurt me to tell my friends and teachers. I’d see their faces register shock, worry, sadness, frustration, but I didn’t know what else to do. It felt as though I had such a big weight on my shoulders, and it had become too much for me to carry it by myself. I had to tell people who knew who I really was, who knew me before this happened, so I could cling onto my sense of self.
However, I also told people I regret telling. I shared what had happened with friends I wasn’t really close with. At the time, I thought that telling people would help bring some sense into this situation. However, the thoughts some shared with me confused me even more:
“Well, you did tell him to go into that room with you…”
“You were really drunk…”
“You are a super friendly person, so he just mistook that as flirting…”
“I’m not sure if this is considered rape because you probably enjoyed yourself once you started having sex, right?”
Another friend approached me at university one day and handed me a brochure explaining rape and that was when it finally clicked for me. I was raped. Some of my other close friends encouraged me to attend counselling, but it wasn’t until I saw the brochure that I did.
When telling the police, I had to replay every single thing in my mind. It felt like picking at the scabs of a wound that was trying to heal. We had to figure out how long John Doe and I were in the private room, and calculated that I was raped for 45 minutes.
Two weeks after the incident, I went to see a counsellor in the Student Wellness Centre. My counsellor was nice enough but I felt rushed having to explain what had happened within my 30-minute time slot. It took me 10 minutes to stop crying. She referred me to the hospital and I headed there after my appointment.
Because I didn’t go there straightaway and had showered after being raped, they could not get his semen off my body. Instead, I underwent a physical exam and a mini counselling session. They took my urine sample and I had to take a pregnancy test. Afterwards, they gave me a handful of crushed up pills and water, telling me that these would wipe out any sort of STDs I could have contracted from him.
Within a month after it happened, I attempted suicide. To summarize it all into one sentence: I felt like a failure, like a used up rag that needed to be disposed. I am grateful that it was a botched attempt, and that I had friends around me who let me talk to them openly about it and made me realize it was not the way out.
One month after being raped, I contacted the city’s Sexual Assault unit and talked to a police officer on the phone. We arranged for them to meet me at a friend’s house, where they would interview me and fill out a report. At the time, that was the hardest thing I had to go through. When I told my friends or teachers what had happened, I was able to skip some parts. I was able to provide a summary. When telling the police, I had to replay every single thing in my mind. It felt like picking at the scabs of a wound that was trying to heal. We had to figure out how long John Doe and I were in the private room, and calculated that I was raped for 45 minutes.
I ended up going to the police station about a week afterwards and had an interview with the police. He said he met with John Doe and spoke with him. He asked if I wanted to take this to court, and added that it would take one year. I turned it down. I didn’t want this to drag on. Because I said no, it only says on John Doe’s profile that he was questioned for rape, but that’s it. The police officer patted me on the shoulder as I was leaving and said, “Take care of yourself. Next time, try not to get yourself into this sort of situation, like the drinking...”
The following summer, I found out that John Doe was going to be a Welcome Week rep again. I contacted friends involved with Welcome Week and was referred to the Office of Student Conduct. I went to their office and told them everything. They informed me that had I approached them right after it had happened, they could have done more. John Doe could have faced more serious consequences. I had no idea that I could have approached the Student Conduct Office. I wish I had known, and hope that more information is given to first years about it now.
The office asked me if I could provide a witness. I immediately thought of his close friend that overheard our phone call after it happened. I messaged her and explained the situation. She sent back a lengthy response, acknowledging that she heard what John Doe said, but that she wouldn’t be able to be a witness for me. She added that I seemed to be holding a grudge and keeping in some pent-up anger. She then closed the message saying that her and other friends were also upset about what happened, but they found ways to move on. Her closing sentence was wishing me all the best. I was disgusted, and still am as I type this.
I showed the office the message, and since she acknowledged what John Doe had said, that was all he needed. He told me that he would meet with John Doe and that he would be monitored at all times during Welcome Week. He also said that John Doe wasn’t allowed to approach me on campus, and that I could call security if he did. While that was comforting, that wasn’t the point of my actions. I didn’t want him to harm anyone ever again, especially first year students.
The conduct officer advised me to go to the Human Rights and Equity office, which I did. I met with someone who was extremely nice and warm. It was comforting to open up to such a wonderful person. She informed me of an upcoming event SACHA, the Sexual Assault Center for the Hamilton Area, was hosting at Mac, which was aimed towards friends of sexual assault victims. I attended the session with one of my great friends.
After being raped by someone who I thought was my friend, the most difficult part was letting go of my friends who still supported him. It genuinely crushed me to have my friends tell me they still considered John Doe a friend. One friend messaged me an apology this spring, saying that she finally sees how horrible John Doe is, and that she will always regret not supporting me. Her message was what I had wanted for so long, but when she finally sent it to me, it had lost its value. I had to go through the rest of my undergrad avoiding my Welcome Week friends and certain parts of MUSC where they hung out.
I would think about it at least once every single day for the first year. I would find myself taking the car and driving to a random parking lot to break down and cry without any interruptions. I’d cringe every time I heard a rape joke, pretend I wasn’t affected while inwardly accepting the fact that the joke would stay in my mind for the rest of the day. I began to join numerous clubs and kept busy. I picked up more shifts at work to avoid being home.
Some days, I would have such a good time with friends that it wouldn’t be until I went to bed that I finally realized I hadn’t thought about it all day. I learned to congratulate myself with every little step towards improvement. I dread November a little less now. I didn’t have sex again until a year and a half later. When I did, and I realized it is still pleasurable, I was elated. John Doe may have become the focus of my life and taken things away from me, but this was not one of them.
Sometimes there are setbacks, though. I recently went home with someone and was triggered by the sexual position he wanted us to be in. I ended up crying in his arms. I was lucky because he was kind and understanding. I am now seeking counselling.
Less than two weeks ago, a good friend of mine approached me and told me she had been raped. She brought a guy home who asked her if she wanted to have sex. When she said no, he proceeded regardless. As she was telling me what had happened, I was trying to control my emotions, to be her rock. But how could this have happened? How could someone assault such a kind-hearted human being? What had she done to deserve this? I felt heartbroken all over again.
While I will never be able to fully understand what she’s going through, it’s safe to say that I have a general idea. The pain from being in the position of a victim’s friend was different, but still prominent.
These situations made me realize how often people question what rape really is. I now know that, put simply, it is any form of sexual activity with another person without their consent is sexual assault.
The statistics are disgusting: one in four women in North America will be raped. While the media normally reports rapists as being strangers in parking lots (which does happen often, unfortunately), that is not true for the majority of rapists. 80 percent of the time, your rapist is someone you know. It’s a close friend, or acquaintance, or family member.
I hope people can learn from the experience I’ve had dealing with this crime on campus. There are resources on campus to approach and consult if you have had a similar experience, but it still isn’t enough. If you have been in a similar situation, please contact the Human Rights and Equity Services department at the university.
*Name has been changed.
The author of this article has asked to remain anonymous. If you have any questions, email thesil@thesil.ca.
RESOURCES ON AND OFF CAMPUS
If you or someone you know is in need of a support service, below is a listing of local centres that are able to provide a variety of services and couselling.
On campus
Human Rights and Equity Services
Provides confidential complaint resolution according to the University’s Sexual Harassment Policies.
(905) 525-9140 x. 27581
hres@mcmaster.ca
Meaghan Ross, Sexual Violence Response Coordinator
(905) 525-9140 x. 20909
rossm4@mcmaster.ca
Student Wellness Centre
Provides a wide range of counselling options and medical services and testing.
(905) 525-9140 x. 27700
wellness@mcmaster.ca
WGEN
Provides confidential support for all victims of sexual assault.
(905) 525-9140 x. 20265
wgen@msu.mcmaster.ca
SHEC
Provides confidential peer support, referrals on and off campus, anonymous and confidential pregnancy testing.
(905) 525-9140 x. 22041
shec@msu.mcmaster.ca
Off campus
SACHA
Provides a 24-hour support line, counselling services and public education.
(905) 525-4573
(905) 525-4162 (24-hour Support Line)
Hamilton General Hospital, Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Care Centre
Provides a 24-hour support line, counselling services and public education.
(905) 521-2100 x. 73557
sadvcarecentre@hhsc.ca
Hamilton Police Services
Takes crime reports from city constituents.
(905) 546-4925
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Anonymous contributor/ WGEN column
For all intents and purposes, I felt that I had consented to what my partner did to me. I invited him over, we engaged in sexual activities and we stopped when I wanted to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later to find his hand between my legs I felt violated and in distress, but I pretended to sleep. I didn’t tell him to stop what he was doing, but I also didn’t say that I wanted him to touch me like that while we slept. It took a very long time for me to feel comfortable with sex after that encounter, and an even longer time to realize that what he did was wrong.
It can be difficult to tell the difference between someone asking for your consent and someone demanding it.
My story is not unique; many people have had similar confusing and upsetting encounters where someone they are dating crosses a line. Justifications for your partner’s actions are commonplace and understandable and usually stem from the belief that you already gave consent or owe your partner sex even when you don’t want it. This stems from unhealthy understandings of relationships on the one hand and a partner’s sense of entitlement on the other.
Consent should be an easy concept to grasp; when two adults both express that they want to engage in sexual activity, they do. However, consent in relationships can be a grey area because you’ve already established that you are attracted to your partner and want to have a physical relationship with them. In addition, the vulnerability required in a long-term relationship can lead to someone agreeing to sex against their will because they feel that it is their duty to their partner. For those such as myself who’ve never been in a healthy relationship before, it can be difficult to tell the difference between someone asking for your consent and someone demanding it. A partner who respects consent will respect boundaries and take no for an answer (and ask for a “yes” in the first place), while a partner who does not respect you will push and push until you “consent.”
Dating someone doesn’t mean you are entitled to their body at all times. Like casual relationships, just because someone has agreed to something before doesn’t mean that they have to do it again. In a healthy relationship both parties feel comfortable expressing their desires and only proceed if both people are interested. If you find that your partner continually pleads and manipulates you into engaging in sex that you aren’t comfortable with, it’s probably time to take a look at your relationship and its power dynamics.
It’s important to remember that while sex can be a wonderful way to feel closer to someone, it isn’t the only way. We sometimes forget that vulnerability exists outside of the bedroom and that relationships require emotional partnership to be sustainable. Look at most of your platonic relationships — I’m sure those are just as fulfilling as your romantic ones, and probably have few, if any, sexual components to them.
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By: Kaiwen Song
Television programs, with their widespread reach and exposure, can have many beneficial impacts on individuals and society. TV not only provides entertainment, but can also help generate societal acceptance of minority groups such as the LGBTQ community through positive representation. Looking back we can see the impact that TV shows featuring LGBTQ characters, such as Will & Grace and Glee had on the increasing acceptance of queer people in North America. These shows had a snowball effect, with many others beginning to feature LGBTQ characters. Indeed, 2015 saw a plethora of attempts at positive representation. Unfortunately, they often left much to be desired. Here are three major ways in which we could improve LGBTQ representation on television in 2016.
First, give LGBTQ characters enough screen time to fully develop. Creating a character that only says a few inconsequential words every episode — or worse, flashes by on screen for mere seconds — is not enough to leave a lasting impression. One example is Captain David Singh in The Flash. While the show is theoretically highly inclusive, Singh, the gay police captain is only featured in 16 of the 23 total episodes with a total screen time of less than two minutes. Similarly, Teen Wolf featured the token gay lacrosse player Danny for less than five minutes throughout its first three seasons before the character disappeared altogether with no explanation. These token LGBTQ characters are extremely disappointing. How can an audience enjoy or relate to a character they don’t get the chance to know?
Secondly, ensure that your attempts at positive representation don’t end up doing more harm than good. Quantico, one of the most anticipated shows of 2015, had commercials that highlighted the inclusion of a major gay character named Simon — the show held extra promise as it was created by Joshua Safran, who is openly gay. This promise was shattered almost immediately when it was revealed that Simon was only pretending to be gay, meaning that TV was robbed of some potentially fantastic queer representation. Safran didn’t stop there; the other minor gay character on Quantico was depicted as cowardly, running away from a bomb while others stayed behind to defuse it, later committing suicide at the prospect of facing imprisonment after being caught for a crime. Both actions perpetuated the negative stereotype of the cowardly or incapable gay man. Needless to say, LGBTQ characters do not, and should not, have to be perfect human beings, however, with so few representations of queer characters on TV, we must take care that the few rare portrayals of LGBTQ characters on TV don’t buy into pre-existing negative stereotypes.
Thirdly, do not be afraid to show LGBTQ characters engaged in romantic and sexual relationships. Modern Family, a comedy series with several LGBTQ writer-producers, is a success on many fronts: it features a gay couple in major roles and allows them to be both good and bad, nuanced just like the rest of the characters. However, Modern Family has long been criticized for glossing over displays of physical intimacy between its gay character. According to the American Sociological Review’s 2014 study, although people may support civil rights for the LGBTQ community, many are still be uncomfortable seeing same-sex public displays of affection. Thus, it is important for TV shows such as Modern Family to play a role in normalizing same-sex physical intimacy. Seeing characters at their most affectionate and intimate is an important part of seeing them as human.
2015 saw a plethora of attempts at positive representation. Unfortunately, they often left much to be desired.
Fulfilling all three criteria, all the while maintaining critical and commercial success, is not impossible: take a look at How To Get Away With Murder. The show features a lead bisexual character and a major gay character, each with individual strengths and weaknesses, who are part of romantic relationships that are depicted with as much explicitness as their straight counterparts. By taking the time and effort to portray members of the LGBTQ community in a meaningful way, TV shows can be elevated from being simply entertaining to being influential and important. Writers and producers — straight and LGBTQ alike — take note!
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McMaster’s Human Rights and Equity Services has just launched the university’s first-ever Sexual Violence Response Protocol.
Spearheaded by Meaghan Ross, the recently hired Sexual Violence Response Coordinator, the protocol is an effort to provide university staff and community members with the information needed when accepting a disclosure about sexual, gender-based or other related violence.
“The response protocol is really about ensuring that survivors who have experienced violence receive a consistent response and a response that is survivor-centered,” said Ross.
The SVRP was developed through two primary initiatives — the work of the Anti-Violence network as well as a joint program between the Sexual Assault Centre of Hamilton and the YWCA, which involved research on current disclosure responses on campus.
“We know that it’s been people’s experiences [on campus] that when they disclose instances of gender-based violence that they could get really good responses or they could unfortunately get very victim or survivor-blaming responses. So it’s meant to provide some clear guidelines about ways to be more consistent in providing responses that really honor what those survivors are saying,” she said.
The protocol was officially implemented at the end of November with the launch of a website outlining its details as well as references and HRES contact information.
The website also includes a series of important definitions of terms like sexual violence, gender-based violence and survivor-driven response, that are meant to give community members a better understanding of the disclosures they may receive and how to react to them.
The protocol itself has nine bullet-pointed concrete commitments including a “highest priority on survivor safety and ensuring that the campus is welcoming, safe and inclusive for all members of our community” and “Communicating that sexual violence is not — and will not be — tolerated and will be actively addressed on an ongoing basis.”
Ross explained that in particular there were two parts of the protocol that she was impassioned about discussing and including: confidentiality limits and creating a non-judgemental space.
“We know that survivors have come forward to speak to make disclosures, but they haven’t always been informed about what the person receiving the disclosure’s confidentiality limits are. And the difficult thing about that is that survivors start to tell their stories and they don’t know where that information might go,” she said.
Limits of confidentiality refers to the fact that not every community member has been trained to safe-guard the information they have been provided, and may feel the need to share the information they have been told with someone else who can then in turn deal with the disclosure. Both Ross and the website explained that if someone is coming to you with a disclosure, you need to make it clear to them that their words will remain confidential.
“Folks need to be aware of their limits, and if they have questions about that or they are worried about that then I have a very high level of confidentiality so they can refer it to me,” said Ross.
In terms of creating a non-judgmental space, Ross and HRES want to ensure that those receiving disclosures are not asking any leading questions, or providing inappropriate advice or comments.
“So folks aren’t asking questions about what the survivor did or didn’t do, or making any sort of assumptions about that. And that they also are not providing advice … it really needs to be about the survivor and what makes sense to them,” said Ross.
Ross and HRES will be hosting three information sessions about the SVRP during the upcoming week: Dec. 7 at 12:30 p.m. in MUSC 224 and 5:30 p.m. in MUSC 313, and Dec. 9 at 3:30 p.m. in MUSC 224.
The protocol and its corresponding website are both very comprehensive and its existence is a formidable step for McMaster as an inclusive and understanding community.
“It signals a good moment in McMaster’s history, that we’re really saying that we have a commitment to survivors,” said Ross.
“It’s a really good starting place that the university has this commitment.”
Photo Credit: svrp.mcmaster.ca
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By: Jennifer La Grassa
It all started this past summer when a girl at my work rubbed her pregnant belly and said “Yup, straight out of Netflix and chill.” The phrase she had used to describe the conception of her child was obviously a joke, but one that I couldn’t shake. All of a sudden, I began to see “Netflix and chill” on every social media account I owned. The popular page on Instagram, the trending hashtags of Twitter, and my Facebook timeline were consumed by memes of the world’s latest trend. Ladies, I’m sure there is nothing new I could tell you about Netflix and chill that you don’t already know. With it gaining recognition as the male’s newest mating call, my advice to all females is to not mate with the men who use it as we don’t want these Netflix and chill genes being naturally selected for.
I refuse to believe that this trend is representative of today’s modern dating scene. Netflix and chill is not a date, but rather a cop-out way to request casual sex from someone you barely know. It is a trend that belongs strictly within the world of Tinder and should not be confused with actual dating. Before I continue, I should mention two key facts. I am an avid Netflix user and I have never been asked to Netflix and chill, but I do offer my sympathies in advance to the guy who might ask.
You may wonder why I am so passionate about the topic. To be honest, I’m just over the hype. It was funny for the first two minutes, but if I’m forced to scroll past one more meme I will toss my phone, crawl into a cave, and live there for the rest of my days. In other words, I’m ready to move on, so if you still have “like to Netflix and chill” in your Tinder profile, you better believe I’m swiping left.
The fact that there are people out there who continue to use the phrase boggles my mind. It’s similar to the “YOLO” phase people went through, when you were deemed funny and cool when it first began, but if you’re still using it today people may give you one of those who-says-that-anymore faces.
I’m waiting for the day when Netflix and chill becomes a phrase of the past. Granted something else even more absurd will take its place, but I’ll cross that bridge when social media gets there.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand why someone would agree to Netflix and chill without actually Netflix-ing and chill-ing. As a third year university student, the amount of time I have allotted to watching TV has reached an all-time low, hence it is very precious to me. If I actually agree to Netflix and chill with you, I expect there to be a hot pizza, red wine, and a Friends episode on. Otherwise, I will develop severe trust issues about our relationship. It’s nothing personal, I just take my Netflix and chill time seriously.
So fellow females, as we ride out the last of this “Netflix and chill” fad, let us remember and pray for the return of a time when this wasn’t a common expression. We can then all go back to actually watching Netflix and enjoying the many pleasures it alone has to offer us.
Photo Credit: Redbubble
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The Office of Human Rights and Equity Services (HRES) gained a spunky personality and welcoming face when Meaghan Ross joined their office as McMaster’s new Sexual Violence Response Coordinator. The position was created in response to recommendations made by “It’s Time To End Violence Against Women on Campus,” a McMaster project commonly referred to as “It’s Time.” Ross and Status of Women Canada, a government initiative, partnered to head the project, and found that there was a gap in the school’s protocol for responding to survivors of sexual violence.
While Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne is pushing towards the creation of a specific sexual assault policy, there are no current legislative requirements for how to respond to survivors. This means that survivors who are disclosing may get a response that ranges from accepting to victim-blaming.
“[Survivors] may connect with a very good T.A. who knows this information who understands this kind of work and refers them to the appropriate folks. On the other hand, they may connect with a T.A. or staff member or faculty member ‘X’ and they may get a victim-blaming and a very unaccommodating response,” Ross explained.
Currently, work is being done to implement a protocol of response for which people likely to get disclosures—teaching assistants, people working in athletics, student leaders and academic advisors—will undergo response training.
In her new role, Ross will be implementing a two-part approach to sexual violence on campus. The first will be response to survivors. Disclosures can come from incidents that occurred either on or off campus as long as there is a nexus to McMaster, including incidences of sexual violence that occur at an event hosted by a McMaster student off-campus.
The second pillar of her approach is a reformation of cultural views.
“In dealing with sexual violence, institutions tend to think [of sexual assault as] one individual case rather than seeing it as a culture and thinking about the norms created in society,” Ross explained.
The #Consent campaign run through the Student Wellness Center and SACHA training for Welcome Week representatives centered around sexual violence is a move in this direction. Training focuses on bursting some of the preconceived notions floating around.
“Sexual violence has been linked with sex. You hear lots of things about perpetrators, who are most likely people we know, … being just too attracted to someone or not being able to control themselves. The danger in that argument… is that sexual violence is not about sex, it’s actually about power, like other forms of violence,” Ross said.
The other side of the issue is the reality that our culture relies on an evidence-based system of proof. This has proven to be a large barrier in the case of sexual violence, which often occurs out of sight. While society at large may not yet be at the point where these experiences can be communicated in a safe environment, Ross can certainly be that helping hand.
“I think that is where the analysis of power comes in. For me folks don’t need to [provide] proof because the reality is that is the way that power systems work,” she said.
Despite her new position, McMaster has long been home to Ross. She completed both her undergraduate Bachelor of Arts degree in Social Work and Labour Studies and then went on to earn a Masters of Arts degree in Globalization Studies at McMaster.
She brings in experience working in social services and at a sexual assault center, both of which have contributed to a deep understanding of the conditions in which violence occur and the intersections between violence against women and other identities.
“I think I am bringing both an analysis of what makes a good survivor response and [an understanding] of how folks navigate the university in order to make policy change,” said Ross.
Anyone wishing to connect with Meaghan Ross can reach her in person at the office in room 212 on the second floor of MUSC, through the phone at 905-525-9140 ext. 20909 or through email at rossm4@mcmaster.ca.
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