By: Neda Pirouzmand
Being a student should involve learning about global issues. I have only recently become aware of the opportunities that McMaster University has to offer for global education beyond the tutorial rooms, lab spaces and lecture halls.
On Nov. 2, the film “I am Rohingya: A Genocide in Four Acts” was screened at the Concert Hall in L.R. Wilson Hall. When a close friend told me about the screening, I did not think much of it. It was only afterwards when I talked to her about the film that I realized what I had missed.
The documentary was a heart-wrenching production that showed the story of the Rohingya people against the ongoing escalation of military violence in their homeland of Burma. Fourteen young Rohingya refugees act in the film to retell their families’ oppressive experiences in Burma which include brutal beatings, kidnappings and killings that have impacted over half a million individuals within the community.
Following the screening, there was a panel discussion with the director Yusuf Zine, the producer and cast members. The impact of this event cannot be understated. Not only did McMaster promote a film that provides insight into global affairs, but it also gave students a chance to hear a first-person account of the vision and process of executing such a film.
In partnership with McMaster’s Office of International Affairs, Zine’s special film screening was part of MacGlobal. MacGlobal, which took place from Oct. 22 to Nov. 9, showcased three weeks work of programming to shine light on international perspectives.
One can only imagine how much work went into planning and executing this amazing three-week initiative. MacGlobal was created by the university in support of McMaster’s Global Engagement Strategy, as outlined in the 2016 document “The McMaster Model for Global Engagement: A Strategy Document”.
Back in 2016, the university had set a priority to develop a strategy that would increase its integration of internationally-inspired programming. This document continues to be a key player in the progression of said strategy, and will hopefully inspire more initiatives like MacGlobal.
A key quote in this document is that there must be a call to action for “the transformation of the university on its own ground, whereby […] our approach to any problem is informed by a global awareness.” This is the kind of perspective that we should be seeking from all of our degrees, and it should be made possible for students from any faculty to achieve.
The unfortunate thing is that you have to actively seek opportunities like MacGlobal or know someone involved in them, as they are otherwise difficult to find. Part of this issue is because we lack streamlined communication of events occurring on campus on any given day. The monitors across campus can only show so much, OSCARplus offers a select niche of events and our Twitter accounts are just as selective.
This is something our student leaders should consider addressing. What can be done to create a central hub for daily opportunities, events and special programming to be accessible to all students and faculty members? Questions like this are worth considering so that events like MacGlobal do not go unnoticed by a large proportion of the McMaster community.
This is what we need more of. We need it because this is the kind of stimulation and education that is missing from many of our courses. The kind of learning that comes from MacGlobal is the kind that makes you a more informed global citizen. It sheds light on things that we can become oblivious to in our student bubbles. With this new insight comes a greater ability to learn and apply knowledge.
Without a doubt, I have learned an extensive amount of information and developed a variety of skills thanks to my classes. However, what I believe I still lack in my current undergraduate education is an integration of course material with current and relevant global issues or contexts. Until this can be achieved in-class, initiatives like MacGlobal should be made known to more students on campus.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
By: Elliot Fung
If you are a full-time undergraduate student enrolled in at least 18 units, you are eligible to vote in this year’s McMaster Students Union presidential election. Here is some more information about the election and how you can successfully cast your ballot.
The president is the primary spokesperson for the MSU and serves as the representative for McMaster students to the university, Hamilton and the provincial and federal government.
The next MSU president will hold the position for a one-year term beginning on May 1, 2019 and ending on April 30, 2020.
The MSU president is also the chair of the board of directors of the Student Representative Assembly, which is comprised of the vice president (Finance), vice president (Administration) and vice president (Education).
This year’s election has four candidates: Madison Wesley, Jeffrey Campana, Josh Marando and Justin Lee. More information about their platforms can be found here.
The voting system will be “single transferable vote.” What this means is that, on your ballot, you will get to rank candidates in order of preference.
In particular, you will have the opportunity to rank your preference of candidate from one to four. However, you do not have to rank all candidates.
Your vote will count towards the candidate you rank first.
The candidate with a majority of total first choice votes will be the president-elect. If a majority is not achieved through the initial counting, the candidate with the least number of first-choice votes is eliminated.
However, if you voted for the eliminated candidate, your ballot still counts. Your vote will be transferred to your second-choice candidate. Votes are then recounted.
If a majority is still not achieved, the process of vote transfer is repeated until a candidate has a majority of first choice votes.
Should a candidate be disqualified or withdraw from the election after polling takes place, your vote will still count too as long as you indicated a second-choice candidate.
In this case, your vote would be transferred to your second-choice candidate.
Voting opens on Jan. 22 and closes on Jan. 24 at 5 p.m. Ballots are being sent out via email, so check your McMaster email as soon as you get the chance!
You can also vote at www.msumcmaster.ca/vote. Log in using your Mac ID and an election link will appear if you are eligible to vote.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
One of the biggest talking points that most candidates make when running for a seat on the Student Representative Assembly is transparency. The word has been tossed around so much that it has basically become a buzzword. But transparency is more than just a talking point; it’s an incredibly important behaviour that the SRA needs to adopt.
During the SRA meeting on Jan. 20, the SRA discussed how they can make their assembly more survivor-centric. Namely, a motion was passed to task the vice president (Administration), in collaboration with the sexual violence response coordinator Meaghan Ross, to develop an amendment to the constitution which includes an emergency response procedure for sexual violence.
This occurred after an SRA member was accused of engaging in sexual assault and another member supported that member. As of now, the SRA cannot ask these members to step down from their positions, only suggest that they should.
The proposed changes to the constitution could allow the SRA to remove such members from their assembly. This is important news in support of survivors, but unfortunately this information has not been made widely available.
Navigating the SRA website is far from an easy task. While the interface itself is user-friendly, information is difficult to find. For example, one would think that meeting minutes from SRA meetings would be listed under SRA minutes but this webpage only contains broken links from April 2018. The actual minutes from SRA meetings are posted under SRA documents amidst other documents and memos.
The minutes themselves are lengthy and filled with unfamiliar jargon that the average student should not be expected to know. This length and volume leads to the vast majority of students not reading the minutes and remaining unaware of the changes that are occurring within the university.
Beyond the content of the minutes, it is also unclear when the meeting minutes are posted. Two weeks ago, on Jan. 9, I was searching for the Jan. 6 meeting minutes, found nothing, and was forced to watch the hour-long livestream to understand what happened.
Though the Jan. 6 meeting minutes are posted now, they are posted under the Jan. 20 heading. I’m not sure when they were posted considering that nowhere on the SRA site do they state when they post meeting minutes after each meeting. Students should not be expected to consistently check the site or watch hours of livestream footage to stay informed.
Instead, minutes should be posted as soon as they are available. A three-day turnaround seems more than reasonable.
If the meeting minutes take long to post, at the very least the SRA or its individual caucuses should create summary documents for students to review. These documents can forgo the jargon and essentially list the important details that were discussed.
Students interested for more information can then consult the meeting minutes, or better yet, review a transcript of the livestream, which remain available to view after the meetings occur. I understand that it is difficult to transcribe a live meeting however, in the interests of accessibility, SRA meetings should be transcribed afterwards to allow individuals who require accommodations the ability to access the livestream videos.
Moreso, when watching the Jan. 20 livestream, a comment was made that some of the information that was discussed would not be included in the meeting minutes. There must be a reason — not all comments made are deemed important enough to include in the minutes — but if the SRA would like to be considered transparent, these comments should be made available for students to interpret on their own. A transcript of the meetings could provide this transparency.
This is not the first time that the SRA has been called out for its lack of transparency. As a governing body that is meant to represent the entire student body of McMaster University, the SRA has a responsibility to do better. The SRA is making some important, positive changes for the university — if only students were aware.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
By: Natalie Clark
One of Madison Wesley’s largest and most promising platform goals is to introduce a textbook rental service to the McMaster campus store. Although students would likely be fond of the idea, Wesley has failed to assess the challenges associated with this goal.
According to Donna Shapiro, the director of retail services at McMaster, the McMaster campus store explored this idea in the past but was unable to bring it to fruition.
“Each faculty would need to commit to their course material selection for several years in a row to pay off the initial cost of the book,” said Shapiro. “Without this commitment, it is impossible to move forward with a rental program.”
In addition, according to Shapiro, the issue of storage is also a concern.
“For the number of courses at Mac that are not taught on a regular basis, space for storage of the rental textbooks becomes an issue,” said Shapiro.
Wesley also has not consulted with the Student Wellness Centre regarding her promise to improve the mental and physical health of students on campus. The SWC would be an essential service to consult in order to implement the changes she is seeking.
One of Wesley’s main goals is to increase the number of counsellors on campus.
“The SWC has increased the number of counsellors this past year and is currently at capacity space and budget wise for the number of staff that the SWC can hire,” said Taryn Aarssen, a wellness educator at the SWC. “The budget for counsellors comes from student fees.”
Wesley would have to acquire additional funds to hire more counsellors. However, in her platform, it is unclear where specifically this funding would come from.
As for Wesley’s promise to introduce a walk-in clinic to McMaster, according to Aarssen, while the SWC is not exactly a walk-in clinic, it is a place where students can make health clinic and medical appointments on campus.
The SWC currently has a significant number of the same resources as walk-in clinics. In light of this, Aarssen notes that adding a second clinic on campus “would not be a valuable use of space or resources.”
Overall, Wesley’s platform would seem more feasible if she made efforts to consult a number of McMaster’s services prior to the start of campaign season.
[button link="https://www.thesil.ca/meet-your-msu-presidential-candidates" color="red"] RETURN TO ALL CANDIDATE PLATFORM OVERVIEWS[/button]
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
By: Andrew Mrozowski
From Jan.12 to Jan.19, the Hamilton Philharmonic Orchestra will run their fourth festival in their composer festival series. This year, the focus will be on Baroque-era composer, Johann Sebastian Bach.
“Bach is arguably the most influential and relatable composer of all time. His beautiful orchestral music and his fascinating life will be a joy for everyone to experience. I do think that Bach is the ultimate composer. He has that perfect balance of musical skill, transcendent spirituality, and human emotion,” said Gemma New, the music director for the HPO.
The HPO has partnered with various venues and amateur orchestras across Hamilton with the goal of teaching the community more about composers’ music and life.
“What we really wanted to do was connect people in the community to a single composer’s work and give the public many different perspectives on that particular composer,” said Diana Weir, executive director of the orchestra and McMaster alumna.
With previous festivals spanning the lives of Mozart, Beethoven and Haydn, the HPO has seemingly been on a roll with the popularity of their artist festival series and the community’s engagement.
“We really wanted to do something to see amateurs and professionals work together in other organizations. [Hamilton] has a very strong amateur music scene, so everything must reflect what Hamilton is interested in and what Hamilton needs,” said Weir.
“Music contributes to a person’s sense of wellness and we are committed to explore how to use our artists to contribute to the wellbeing and life satisfaction of the community.”
This year, there are nine different events spanning the course of the seven-day festival. There is an event for everyone in this year’s Bach Festival whether you are an avid fan of this era or not. The Sil has highlighted three events that students may enjoy:
[spacer height="20px" id="2"]
Redchurch Café and Gallery, 68 King Street East
Inspired by Bach’s coffeehouses in Leipzig, Germany, HPO’s Associate Concertmaster Lance Ouellette is hosting a casual night in conjunction with Redchurch Café and Gallery. Enjoy Bach on the violin accompanied by beer, prosecco, or a latte as well as the current art exhibition, Fell Through by Paul Allard and Jonny Cleland.
Tickets $20
Shawn & Ed Brewing Co., 65 Hatt Street, Dundas
The fan favourite event returns to Shawn & Ed Brewing Co. Enjoy a night of Bach music performed by an HPO trio while drinking specialty beer at this local craft brewhouse.
Bar opens at 5:30 p.m. Music and drink pairings from 6-7 p.m..
Tickets $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
FirstOntario Concert Hall, 1 Summers Lane
Concluding the week-long festival, expert Baroque conductor Ivars Taurins and the HPO are putting on one final show featuring the works of Johann Sebastien Bach. At the end of the concert, stick around for the Pro-Am jam.
You can have the chance to perform with professional musicians and conductor Ivars Taurins in this professional-amateur jam session of Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring by J.S. Bach.
Tickets start at $10
Must purchase a ticket to register and participate in Pro-Am Jam
[spacer height="20px" id="2"]
This festival is different from other music festivals you may find. As the HPO’s main goal is to break down barriers to access in the community, they’ve aimed to make the events affordable, especially for a student-budget. They’ve also brought the music outside of the typical performance in a concert hall where guests may feel intimidated.
“I really hope that people will feel like they are connected to the HPO and [the HPO] is connected to the community. The HPO is somewhere where people can develop memorable experiences with their friends and loved ones,” said Weir.
So enjoy a drink and listen to Bach at a café, or perhaps go to the library and attend an insightful talk and beautiful performance, wherever and however you experience the Bach Festival the HPO will be sure to take you back to the Baroque-era.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
In light of recent discussions made by the Student Representative Assembly concerning the fate of Incite Magazine, talks of the supposed “death of print” have once again circulated campus.
Incite Magazine is McMaster University’s creative arts and writing publication featuring student work across a wide range of mediums. The magazine, which prints three times a year, is entirely student-led and student-funded, receiving $1.02 per student annually.
Recently, the Finance Committee of the SRA made the recommendation to send Incite Magazine to referendum to determine its budget. If passed, the referendum had the potential to reduce Incite’s budget byhalf, or even remove it altogether.
When a university that arguably undervalues the arts proposes cutting funding from a magazine that serves as one of the few remaining spaces on campus for creatives, the student body should be alarmed. While the motion to send Incite Magazine to referendum failed to pass at the SRA meeting on Jan. 6, even the idea that the magazine could nix their print publications and simply “shift their operations to an online platform” has harmful implications.
It’s no secret that many publications are going digital. Just last year, Teen Vogue, a popular magazine among millennials, discontinued their print editions. As more publications shift towards an all-digital platform, advocates for print media must stand strong.
But if the content is the same online, why bother printing? Print publications are much more than their content — it’s the experience of reading a print magazine that holds value. Content is obviously important but elements of production including graphic designs and layouts add just as much value to the finished product as the content itself.
Studies have even shown that time after time, readers will continuously choose printed magazines over their digital counterparts. Unsurprisingly, after a transition to an entirely digital platform, those print readers aren’t transitioning with the publication. They’re just gone.
Consider where you’re reading this editorial. Chances are, you picked up a copy of The Silhouette offhand, flipped through the contents, and skimmed the articles that piqued your interest. As far as technology has advanced, this experience cannot be replicated online.
So no, print isn’t dead. Nor should it be. As an editor of both The Silhouette and Incite Magazine, I’ve witnessed firsthand the hard work and dedication put into creating print publications. It’s my hope that readers recognize the efforts put into each issue and stand in support of print publications.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
[feather_share show="twitter, google_plus, facebook, reddit, tumblr" hide="pinterest, linkedin, mail"]
Every March, past and present MSU student leaders, University administrators and some members of The Silhouette, get together for Student Recognition Night, an evening that highlights achievements and successes in student politics and service provision. Apart from the awards ceremony, one of the most anticipated parts of the evening is the current MSU Board of Directors’ Swan Song — a humorous and final goodbye from the President and the Vice Presidents of the MSU that has traditionally been used to poke fun at student politics, sing a couple self-deprecating lines and throw a few (welcome) jabs at our coverage.
Unfortunately, this year the song crossed the line from humorous to offensive. Although much of the song was funny and light-hearted, I have two issues with it: the individual attack towards a student activist, and the way it ridiculed the efforts of student activism, specifically the pro-Vice Presidential election reform campaign team and the Student Mobilization Syndicate.
Addressing student concerns of increasing tuition rates and groups that have requested that the MSU be more active beyond its role with OUSA, the song included lines like, “They say that tuition has doubled; maybe because they’ve been here for 10 years,” and in the same vein, “They’re now on the SRA; at least I’ll soon be gone.” For anyone involved with the MSU, the identity of the person the BOD was referring to is very clear. It’s also well known that this person is also a mature student who used to attend McMaster and has now returned for reasons that we’re not aware of and which frankly are none of our business. Whether their choice to leave was because of financial reasons, health reasons, or simply a matter of personal choice, whatever angle you decide to look at this line from, it is extremely offensive.
The person in question is also, as the song gives away, a new member of the Student Representative Assembly. The lines only create unnecessary and damaging animosity between the executive branch of the MSU and its governing body members, which should expect more respect from the BOD. There is a difference between inside jokes and personal attacks towards people you don’t engage in constructive dialogue with. That the person was also not present (or invited) to Student Rec Night makes the whole thing even more uncomfortable.
Beyond the personal attack, I was also disturbed at the willingness of the Board to ridicule the efforts of student groups whose goals are to push for change within the MSU. I’m not arguing that their stances are good or bad, but students should feel free to speak their mind about how they want to govern their student union without being ridiculed. For example, one line from the song about the VP reform petition was: “VPs-at-large they tried to file a petition once or twice… by once or twice I mean maybe a couple of hundred times.” It later added, “It’s too bad you lost VP to some Yik Yaks and memes… 21 votes,” referring to the small number of votes the pro-reform side lost the referendum by (a sad 0.3% under the two-thirds majority needed). What good does it do to ridicule the efforts of students with good intentions and students who want to improve the democratic process of our union? The BOD are the people in power. Whether you choose to respect their opinions or not, they still hold a lot of ground. Ridiculing student movements creates a hostile environment that discourages people from expressing opinions that the larger voices within the MSU might look down on.
Before anyone messages us to let us know that we don’t get the “point” of the Swan Song, that it’s meant to be in jest, let me assure you that we know. We know that it is meant to highlight the sometimes ridiculous and immature nature of student politics, and give the BOD a chance to respond to criticisms they’ve faced throughout the year. But it is not meant to be malicious or attack individual people. It’s not meant to discourage student activism, especially not activism that doesn’t align directly with how the MSU sees itself. The petitions and activist groups get attention because they speak to people — the numbers speak for themselves: both in the number of people who signed the VP reform petitions and those who voted in favour — and the last thing the MSU should be doing is making people feel that they will be ridiculed for wanting to make a change or be involved. Though the Swan Song does not take away from this BOD’s accomplishments, it ends the year on a sour note.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
[feather_share show="twitter, google_plus, facebook, reddit, tumblr" hide="pinterest, linkedin, mail"]
By: Sasha Dhesi
A few weeks ago, my mom left the country to visit some relatives. With me in Hamilton and my brother juggling university, work and a research job, neither of us are home particularly often, leaving my dad by himself. My dad started calling me at least twice a day, and began asking me what he was supposed to do for fun now that his wife and kids were too busy for him. I had to confront something I’d never really considered before: my dad’s just as needy as I am.
I never really viewed my parents as people who needed me in any way. Sure, I help out around the house and take care of my parents, but it always felt more one-sided, and that I needed them for support and care. After all, while they’re a constant in my life, I’ve only been in theirs for a fraction of the time. I was lucky enough to have parents who nurtured a healthy environment for me to grow in and I saw them as superheroes, making it difficult for me to see them as people who may feel insecure from time to time.
Chances are, growing up, you saw your parents as superheroes in some sense. If you were lucky enough to live in a healthy and stable home, they took care of you and most of the problems in your life. Your parents most likely hid most issues that were affecting your family so that you could continue living a carefree childhood. But, as you grow up, this changes. Now that you are an adult, you have to face the reality that your parents are just normal people who happened to have raised you. As your parents age, you may feel the onus of their care fall onto you, their next of kin, but if you’re anything like me, that also conflicts with your growing desire for autonomy.
It’s well known that university marks the beginning of a slow break away from your parents. Even those who opt to live at home for their undergraduate degree find themselves staying later and later on campus, usually juggling school, work and a growing social life. This usually brings forth the inevitable internal dilemma of leaving your older parents on their own. My parents are both in their fifties and suffer from several chronic ailments. They both have histories of heart disease and have lost close friends and loved ones to cardiac arrest. One particular reason I have to go home sometimes is to just make sure that they’re doing okay; something I’ll admit is a little irrational. But as we get older, the dynamic between our parents undeniably changes.
I’m going to level with you: I have no idea how to deal with this. Do I give up on all my dreams of traveling and living abroad one day on the assumption that my parents may one day need me to care for them? Do I jump the gun and leave them in the lurch now, and only contact them when I need something? No matter what decision I make on Friday when I decide whether or not I want to visit them, it feels like a decision between these extremes. There’s a double whammy of guilt going on here, where I’m losing out on what I want or being overly cold to the people who raised me. It’s an odd place to teeter.
As someone who’s South Asian, a cultural clash also comes into play. For those who are unaware, many South Asian cultures stress familial bonds, and it’s not uncommon for people to live with their parents for their entire lives. I personally grew up with my dad’s grandma, who lived with us until her death in 2014. Now, my parents understand social contexts, and by no means are forcing me to stay with them for the rest of my life. But every time I mention going abroad, or looking at grad schools even a few towns away, my mom always deflates ever so slightly as she remembers that our relationship isn’t nowhere near as close as hers was with her mom.
Now that you are an adult, you have to face the reality that your parents are just normal people who happened to have raised you.
Ultimately, it’s just come down to taking it day by day. I call my mom in the morning, and my dad in the evening. I haven’t thrown away my autonomy just yet, but I’m not willing to completely separate myself from my parents. I can’t tell you some magical way to maintain your familial relationships, but I can tell you that a call goes a long way and that even just telling them that yes, you’ve eaten, and yes, your friends are fine, and no, you’re not doing drugs, can go a long way.
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
[feather_share show="twitter, google_plus, facebook, reddit, tumblr" hide="pinterest, linkedin, mail"]
WARNING: This article contains graphic descriptions of rape and mention of suicide.
I was a Welcome Week representative in 2012, and I met John Doe*, a fellow rep, through some friends. We didn’t work directly together, but he hung out with us often. I thought he was funny, we had the same taste in music, but I never thought of him as anything more. My friends were close to him, and I liked my friends, so it all seemed great. It was after our fourth encounter with each other that he raped me.
It was the day of the Yates Cup. I had gone to a friend’s before the match for some drinks. I was happily drunk but felt the cold November wind hitting my cheeks as the game crept closer to half time. My friends texted me that they were at TwelvEighty and there was an extra seat for me.
As I entered TwelvEighty, I saw John and my friends. I had run out of money and waved my debit card around, asking for a drink. The bartender said that if I had no cash, I had to buy a pitcher in order to use my card. I did so and ended up drinking most of it.
John got up and stretched, and announced that he was going to go for a walk. I was beginning to feel nauseous and figured that joining him would be a good way to sober up. We walked until we found a stairwell. He sat on the stairwell while I fell on them. I remember his face getting closer to mine slowly. He kissed me and I could hear footsteps approaching. People passed by, the match was still going on. I felt exposed and uncomfortable.
I suggested to him that we should go into a private room. I wanted to talk and I wanted for us to be alone. I wasn’t thinking about kissing him more. To be honest, I genuinely wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, I was just drunk. I know I didn’t encourage him, but I clearly didn’t express myself as properly as I wished.
We went into a room in the arts quad basement. He turned off the light and I sat on the ground as standing had become too tricky.
He pulled his pants down and tried to shove himself into my mouth. I was frozen. Somewhere in the back of my mind the phrase “freeze, fight or flight” popped up, and I cursed myself for having the worst reaction.
“Get on that bench.” he said. At that point in time I was so dumbfounded that any short instruction seemed sensible. He pulled off my jeans. I realized what his intentions were, and mustered up the strength to cover myself with both of my hands and said loudly, “No. Stop. I don’t want to. No. Stop.”
I remember him pulling my hands away. He pressed his lips against mine, hard. I remember hearing him grunt, and the occasional loud cheer from TwelvEighty came through the walls. My insides were screaming for my body to get up, to punch, to do anything, but I was incapable of moving. I was scared of his strength. Not physical, as he was short and smaller than me, but his mental strength – the fact that he ignored my pleas frightened me.
Something began to buzz in the room: my friends whom I left outside at the game were attempting to find me. They kept calling. Eventually, he stopped. I had sobered up enough by then to hop off the piano bench, pull up my pants, pick up my phone. We left the room and he headed back to TwelvEighty while I made a beeline for MUSC. As I left he called out, “See you around, eh?”
Somewhere in the back of my mind the phrase “freeze, fight or flight” popped up, and I cursed myself for having the worst reaction.
I went to the Student Centre and ran into my friends. The shock settled in minutes after and I told my friends what had happened. They took me to Shoppers to buy a Plan B.
The next few days blurred together. I showered for 45 minutes washing every inch of my skin, hoping that the harder I scrubbed, the less dirty I’d feel. I couldn’t sleep. School didn’t matter. I lived off-campus and I would leave the house earlier because I didn’t want to face my parents.
I told my friends later on that day. It was confusing to them because they knew him for years. They said they believed me, but within that week they also told me that he made a mistake and they would remain friends with him.
John Doe called me the very next day and told me he knew I told our mutual friends, and that I was wrong. He declared he did have consent because I took him to the private room. A few days after this, I was with a friend, who was also a good friend of John Doe, but was supporting me during this time. John Doe called me, and I put it on speaker so she could hear what he was saying. He warned me again not to tell anyone, and claimed I was being ridiculous. “Am I always supposed to ask a girl if she wants to have sex with me?” he said in a sarcastic tone. I was stunned. His friend looked at me with an unfathomable expression. I hung up.
[spacer height="20px" id="2"]
My close friends were trying to convince me to report him, but even I was confused as to whether this was rape or not.
I even went to my old high school and confronted two of my closest teachers about what had happened. It hurt me to tell my friends and teachers. I’d see their faces register shock, worry, sadness, frustration, but I didn’t know what else to do. It felt as though I had such a big weight on my shoulders, and it had become too much for me to carry it by myself. I had to tell people who knew who I really was, who knew me before this happened, so I could cling onto my sense of self.
However, I also told people I regret telling. I shared what had happened with friends I wasn’t really close with. At the time, I thought that telling people would help bring some sense into this situation. However, the thoughts some shared with me confused me even more:
“Well, you did tell him to go into that room with you…”
“You were really drunk…”
“You are a super friendly person, so he just mistook that as flirting…”
“I’m not sure if this is considered rape because you probably enjoyed yourself once you started having sex, right?”
Another friend approached me at university one day and handed me a brochure explaining rape and that was when it finally clicked for me. I was raped. Some of my other close friends encouraged me to attend counselling, but it wasn’t until I saw the brochure that I did.
When telling the police, I had to replay every single thing in my mind. It felt like picking at the scabs of a wound that was trying to heal. We had to figure out how long John Doe and I were in the private room, and calculated that I was raped for 45 minutes.
Two weeks after the incident, I went to see a counsellor in the Student Wellness Centre. My counsellor was nice enough but I felt rushed having to explain what had happened within my 30-minute time slot. It took me 10 minutes to stop crying. She referred me to the hospital and I headed there after my appointment.
Because I didn’t go there straightaway and had showered after being raped, they could not get his semen off my body. Instead, I underwent a physical exam and a mini counselling session. They took my urine sample and I had to take a pregnancy test. Afterwards, they gave me a handful of crushed up pills and water, telling me that these would wipe out any sort of STDs I could have contracted from him.
Within a month after it happened, I attempted suicide. To summarize it all into one sentence: I felt like a failure, like a used up rag that needed to be disposed. I am grateful that it was a botched attempt, and that I had friends around me who let me talk to them openly about it and made me realize it was not the way out.
One month after being raped, I contacted the city’s Sexual Assault unit and talked to a police officer on the phone. We arranged for them to meet me at a friend’s house, where they would interview me and fill out a report. At the time, that was the hardest thing I had to go through. When I told my friends or teachers what had happened, I was able to skip some parts. I was able to provide a summary. When telling the police, I had to replay every single thing in my mind. It felt like picking at the scabs of a wound that was trying to heal. We had to figure out how long John Doe and I were in the private room, and calculated that I was raped for 45 minutes.
I ended up going to the police station about a week afterwards and had an interview with the police. He said he met with John Doe and spoke with him. He asked if I wanted to take this to court, and added that it would take one year. I turned it down. I didn’t want this to drag on. Because I said no, it only says on John Doe’s profile that he was questioned for rape, but that’s it. The police officer patted me on the shoulder as I was leaving and said, “Take care of yourself. Next time, try not to get yourself into this sort of situation, like the drinking...”
The following summer, I found out that John Doe was going to be a Welcome Week rep again. I contacted friends involved with Welcome Week and was referred to the Office of Student Conduct. I went to their office and told them everything. They informed me that had I approached them right after it had happened, they could have done more. John Doe could have faced more serious consequences. I had no idea that I could have approached the Student Conduct Office. I wish I had known, and hope that more information is given to first years about it now.
The office asked me if I could provide a witness. I immediately thought of his close friend that overheard our phone call after it happened. I messaged her and explained the situation. She sent back a lengthy response, acknowledging that she heard what John Doe said, but that she wouldn’t be able to be a witness for me. She added that I seemed to be holding a grudge and keeping in some pent-up anger. She then closed the message saying that her and other friends were also upset about what happened, but they found ways to move on. Her closing sentence was wishing me all the best. I was disgusted, and still am as I type this.
I showed the office the message, and since she acknowledged what John Doe had said, that was all he needed. He told me that he would meet with John Doe and that he would be monitored at all times during Welcome Week. He also said that John Doe wasn’t allowed to approach me on campus, and that I could call security if he did. While that was comforting, that wasn’t the point of my actions. I didn’t want him to harm anyone ever again, especially first year students.
The conduct officer advised me to go to the Human Rights and Equity office, which I did. I met with someone who was extremely nice and warm. It was comforting to open up to such a wonderful person. She informed me of an upcoming event SACHA, the Sexual Assault Center for the Hamilton Area, was hosting at Mac, which was aimed towards friends of sexual assault victims. I attended the session with one of my great friends.
After being raped by someone who I thought was my friend, the most difficult part was letting go of my friends who still supported him. It genuinely crushed me to have my friends tell me they still considered John Doe a friend. One friend messaged me an apology this spring, saying that she finally sees how horrible John Doe is, and that she will always regret not supporting me. Her message was what I had wanted for so long, but when she finally sent it to me, it had lost its value. I had to go through the rest of my undergrad avoiding my Welcome Week friends and certain parts of MUSC where they hung out.
I would think about it at least once every single day for the first year. I would find myself taking the car and driving to a random parking lot to break down and cry without any interruptions. I’d cringe every time I heard a rape joke, pretend I wasn’t affected while inwardly accepting the fact that the joke would stay in my mind for the rest of the day. I began to join numerous clubs and kept busy. I picked up more shifts at work to avoid being home.
Some days, I would have such a good time with friends that it wouldn’t be until I went to bed that I finally realized I hadn’t thought about it all day. I learned to congratulate myself with every little step towards improvement. I dread November a little less now. I didn’t have sex again until a year and a half later. When I did, and I realized it is still pleasurable, I was elated. John Doe may have become the focus of my life and taken things away from me, but this was not one of them.
Sometimes there are setbacks, though. I recently went home with someone and was triggered by the sexual position he wanted us to be in. I ended up crying in his arms. I was lucky because he was kind and understanding. I am now seeking counselling.
Less than two weeks ago, a good friend of mine approached me and told me she had been raped. She brought a guy home who asked her if she wanted to have sex. When she said no, he proceeded regardless. As she was telling me what had happened, I was trying to control my emotions, to be her rock. But how could this have happened? How could someone assault such a kind-hearted human being? What had she done to deserve this? I felt heartbroken all over again.
While I will never be able to fully understand what she’s going through, it’s safe to say that I have a general idea. The pain from being in the position of a victim’s friend was different, but still prominent.
These situations made me realize how often people question what rape really is. I now know that, put simply, it is any form of sexual activity with another person without their consent is sexual assault.
The statistics are disgusting: one in four women in North America will be raped. While the media normally reports rapists as being strangers in parking lots (which does happen often, unfortunately), that is not true for the majority of rapists. 80 percent of the time, your rapist is someone you know. It’s a close friend, or acquaintance, or family member.
I hope people can learn from the experience I’ve had dealing with this crime on campus. There are resources on campus to approach and consult if you have had a similar experience, but it still isn’t enough. If you have been in a similar situation, please contact the Human Rights and Equity Services department at the university.
*Name has been changed.
The author of this article has asked to remain anonymous. If you have any questions, email thesil@thesil.ca.
RESOURCES ON AND OFF CAMPUS
If you or someone you know is in need of a support service, below is a listing of local centres that are able to provide a variety of services and couselling.
On campus
Human Rights and Equity Services
Provides confidential complaint resolution according to the University’s Sexual Harassment Policies.
(905) 525-9140 x. 27581
hres@mcmaster.ca
Meaghan Ross, Sexual Violence Response Coordinator
(905) 525-9140 x. 20909
rossm4@mcmaster.ca
Student Wellness Centre
Provides a wide range of counselling options and medical services and testing.
(905) 525-9140 x. 27700
wellness@mcmaster.ca
WGEN
Provides confidential support for all victims of sexual assault.
(905) 525-9140 x. 20265
wgen@msu.mcmaster.ca
SHEC
Provides confidential peer support, referrals on and off campus, anonymous and confidential pregnancy testing.
(905) 525-9140 x. 22041
shec@msu.mcmaster.ca
Off campus
SACHA
Provides a 24-hour support line, counselling services and public education.
(905) 525-4573
(905) 525-4162 (24-hour Support Line)
Hamilton General Hospital, Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Care Centre
Provides a 24-hour support line, counselling services and public education.
(905) 521-2100 x. 73557
sadvcarecentre@hhsc.ca
Hamilton Police Services
Takes crime reports from city constituents.
(905) 546-4925
[thesil_related_posts_sc]Related Posts[/thesil_related_posts_sc]
