With people turning to social media dating platforms to get their romance, dating in the contemporary world is becoming extremely complicated
As the nature of society becomes increasingly chaotic and in ways disconnected, so does romance. The boundaries of romantic relationships are becoming increasingly blurred and the idea and definitions of being in one are no longer as straightforward as they used to be. Amid this, Generation Z has coined the term the “talking stage,” a grey area where people connect but don’t commit
The talking stage refers to the early phase of getting to know someone before deciding to start dating. It’s a critical stage in any modern relationship. It’s a stage that can go on for weeks or months, leaving those involved in a state of limbo. There is undeniable pressure to get it right; one wrong step and you’ll be ghosted.
It begins with a rush of excitement and a feeling of great potential, but this can quickly change. The challenges of the real world will emerge and the doubt will set in as the initial excitement fades. The talking stage is filled with uncertainty; it is a grey area between casual acquaintance and full-blown romance, with no one really knowing what is going on.
The talking stage is filled with uncertainty; it is a grey area between casual acquaintance and full-blown romance, with no one really knowing what is going on.
The talking stage is a time of late nights and constant confusion, but things weren’t always this way. In the past, people had to meet naturally and in person, making for a much simpler dating process. You meet someone; you go on a date and if you mesh well, you go on another. There was no need for a talking stage and conversation happened organically. But with the rise of both social media and dating apps alike, people are forced into a world of swiping, texting and shallow conversation.
The introduction of social media has complicated the world of love further. With endless opportunities to meet new people it is easy to fall into the trap of casual conversation that will ultimately lead nowhere.
The introduction of social media has complicated the world of love further. With endless opportunities to meet new people, it is easy to fall into the trap of casual conversation that will ultimately lead nowhere.
This raises the question, why do we keep the talking stage around?
It offers a sense of freedom; there is no pressure of commitment. It is a relationship without any real feelings or pressure. Commitment is scary. Therefore, it could be argued that this stage might be used to test the waters, giving those involved an opportunity to leave without consequence.
While the talking stage may seem like an easy way to avoid getting hurt, it can still affect you emotionally. The limbo of not knowing where things are going can cause anxiety and sleepless nights. Hours can be filled thinking of the next steps. A hole of unavoidable worry can be dug as the realization sets in that you don’t really know this person at all.
The talking stage is now intertwined with dating. It is slowly becoming the first step in every relationship. Social media is reshaping the way we interact, creating a space to explore new connections. However as social media continues to take over, new complications will arise and we will be forced to consider whether this shift is truly enhancing our relationships or just prolonging the uncertainty of modern relationships.
On Jan. 30, the annual Bell Let’s Talk Day, an advertising campaign created by Bell Canada, took the country by storm. In an effort to raise awareness and combat stigma surrounding mental health in Canada, Bell donated money to mental health funds for every social interaction with campaigns hashtag.
While the world tweeted, snapped and Instagram-ed away, The McMaster Women’s Athletic Leadership Committee took it one step further and hosted their first-ever Bell Let’s Talk event.
The event consisted of McMaster student-athletes sharing their personal stories in an open and safe environment that was open to the entire McMaster community. Five student-athletes, Sabrina Schindel, Allison Sippel, Aurora Zuraw, Nicolas Belliveau and Louis Sharland, took the floor and led discussions on depression, eating disorders, language and anxiety and men’s mental health.
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The event was a success with a great turn out that included open discussion and much-needed conversations on mental health and how it affects athletes, in addition to the right steps that need to be taken to combat different stigmas.
“At first, I was expecting it to be a small event with just members of WALC, but to have my teammates, friends and people I didn’t even know come out to support was so amazing and inspiring,” said Sippel, the initiator for the event.
The idea for the event came up after Sippel, a cross-country runner, wanted to be able to create an open space for people to be able to talk about their battles with mental health.
“I feel like if we are able to create a space where people are open to talking, there would be less of a stigma around it,” said Sippel.
She first wrote down her story after she got out of the hospital after suffering from an eating disorder. After reading it to her close friends and family members, she never really shared it with the public. But when the idea of creating an event for Bell Let’s Talk came up, the idea of the panel sharing personal stories came to mind.
Working with Claire Arsenault, McMaster’s Athlete Services Coordinator and WALC, the panel that would originally be a conversation for members of the committee grew to more.
“I was happy that male athletes joined in and it was really inspirational that the group of us could be able to share our stories,” said Sippel.
🗣️ #OneTeamForMentalHealth 🗣️
Ask someone how they are doing.
📸 @MPHcentral#WeAreONE | #BellLetsTalk pic.twitter.com/OlmEeBWH9r
— Ontario University Athletics (@OUAsport) January 31, 2019
Each speaker shared their story then opened up the floor for discussion, answering questions in regard to their experiences, advice for others and much more.
During the panel, Sippel shared her story about how her eating disorder led her to be hospitalized when she was 14 years old. After losing too much weight and no longer being allowed to run, her journey to bounce back was not easy.
“This illness had turned mind against body and person against person because nurses were trained to trust no one,” Sippel explained about her time in the hospital.
Eventually, Sippel showed signs of improvement and was allowed to leave the hospital and return to her everyday life. Fast-forward to today, and she is now running on the Mac cross-country team while trying her best to stay on top of her condition.
“It’s a lifetime of fighting against my mind so I never had to go back,” Sippel said.
For Sippel, having the student-athletes lead this conversation was important for a number of reasons.
“I feel like a lot of times, it is frowned upon to express our feelings. If we start the conversation, there is no better way to set an example for our fellow students,” said Sippel. “Hopefully five students sharing their stories can spiral into something bigger and start a movement.”
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Schindel, another one of the five student-athletes who shared their stories, is a lacrosse player who suffered from depression. Through the ups and downs of dealing with her battle, she eventually discovered that staying busy and active is what kept helped her out the most. This meant that when her lacrosse season was over, she would have to find something to keep her occupied so she did not fall down that dark hole again.
“Realizing that no one is beyond help and getting in front of my depression before it could do the same damage it used to,” Schindel explained as the steps she takes to keep herself from falling again.
Schindel’s story, though devastating, is more common amongst young people than one may think. This is why it is so important that these conversations are happening. Having the bravery to start the conversation, and sharing tips and resources with their fellow students is a great way for Marauders to do their part in helping end the stigma surrounding mental health.
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By: Rachel and Megan Goodland/ WGEN
We often hear that our society is becoming too “politically correct”, or “PC.” It is true, that it is not uncommon to see trigger warnings on potentially upsetting content, and in many communities we see the elimination of oppressive language from everyday conversation. This has inspired a confusing amount of rage from people that feel that we are becoming too “sensitive” or “weak” as a culture — especially us young folk. As two people who are trying to uphold this “PC-ness,” we would like to apologize to all of those reading who feel bothered by this new social standard of caring.
Actually, we’re not sorry at all.
Take a second to bear in mind that changing our language to be inclusive is not, in reality, difficult. Why is it that the second we ask people to check themselves when saying “gay” or “whore” in a negative context, they look at us as if we have asked them to aspire to sainthood? If we can exchange one degrading word we use to make people around us feel more comfortable, then why wouldn’t we? And to be honest, if you don’t care about making the people around you feel at ease, then may we suggest you consider speaking less in general.
We know what you are thinking: “I have the right to free speech so I can say whatever.” Very good, that is a valid argument, and to that we will respond that free speech does not protect you from facing the consequences of the things you say.
Freedom of speech does not mean you can bypass the critical backlash you may encounter if your words are hateful. So if you say, “I have a right be offensive,” then we could respond in turn, “I have a right to be offended and make it known that I am offended.” You see the interesting cyclical pattern here? We do admit that considering your words more carefully may be slightly inconvenient, it may even involve reflective critical thought (a horrendous task). No one can change their language in a day — it involves making many mistakes along the way. But we promise you that it’s worth it.
We would like to present an example of one phrase in particular that is popular in Western vernacular. Have you ever heard someone refer to a woman as a “crazy bitch”? The answer is almost definitely a resounding yes. There are a few major issues with this phrase. When a woman is called a crazy bitch she is left to question the relevance or importance of her own words and feelings. In many cases, a man will call a woman crazy because he does not want to acknowledge that she is upset for a legitimate reason.
If you don’t care about making the people around you feel at ease, then may we suggest you consider speaking less in general.
Another issue with calling someone crazy? It involves the use of a word that calls into question mental stability, therefore making one feel that their opinions are less important as a result. There are words, such as “mad” or “crazy”, that are problematic. They are open for reclaiming by many communities — as delightfully demonstrated by the Hamilton Mad Students Collective — but using them in an insulting context to bring someone down perpetuates stereotypes about the mentally ill and is not a way to get a point across. We argue that this is nothing more than a thoughtless way to shut someone up and make them question the validity of their feelings, in lieu of taking the time to consider and address their concerns.
So here we are, in this new standard of “checking ourselves” before we speak. Does it involve effort? Just a bit. Are we being sensitive? Sure. But does it make a difference? More than you know. If your right to casually use oppressive words and phrases is something that is very important to you, perhaps the small shift in language is not the real problem here.
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We’ve all heard the criticism regarding social media — that, as a generation, we’ve lost the art of conversation and are too self-absorbed and caught up with our social media accounts to connect with each other. I have to disagree. Social media is not inherently restrictive and isolating; it is the way that you choose to use it that determines how you connect with the outside world. You could just as well isolate yourself by immersing yourself in a novel or movie, so why does social media have such a bad rap among older generations?
Contrary to popular belief, we have not lost the art of conversation, we’ve simply come up with new ways to engage in it. I have a few friends who are international students and use platforms like FaceTime and Skype to communicate with family abroad. Just because the conversation occurs through non-traditional media doesn’t mean we shouldn’t embrace the fact that we are able to stay in touch with people miles away.
Even class assignments make use of social media to improve productivity. Think of how many of your Facebook groups are dedicated to schoolwork. Organizing meetings in person is not always feasible. Of course, in-person interaction is a different experience and does help you form bonds with people you may otherwise forget about after the course is complete. However, the reality is that a commuter student, for example, would benefit from an online meeting through sites such as Facebook or Google Hangouts as opposed to altering his or her schedule. Rather than try to find a different time and potentially cancelling meetings altogether, social media provides flexibility for everyone involved.
I’m not advocating that all contact be limited to social media, because that would really limit our communication. Face-to-face interaction ensures that body language is visible and can be interpreted. It can be difficult to get the same intuitive understanding of how someone is feeling through emojis and text. Despite the fact that video chat is available, it is certainly not perfect. While it is important to be able to communicate effectively in person, why shun technology that works in favour of those who prefer to convey their thoughts through a different medium? Social media not only offers a platform that can accommodate busy and conflicting schedules, but it also serves as a comfortable space for people with more introverted personalities who might prefer to communicate online. At the same time, what social media allows us to share with others is probably one of its most innovative and valuable aspects.
Contrary to popular belief, we have not lost the art of conversation, we’ve simply come up with new ways to engage in it.
We all know what it’s like to have an indescribable experience. When I try to describe my summer vacation to my friends, I tend to repeat how amazing, fantastic and wonderful it was, but those words hardly capture the experience accurately. Social media platforms like Snapchat and YouTube take words out of the equation and make experiences shareable without overusing clichéd terms to attempt to explain them. Conversation is important, and contrary to popular belief, millennials do engage in it. Yet, the traditional conversation is not always the best way to communicate. Social media gives us the means to communicate beyond words and to share experiences as they happen rather than after the fact. At the end of the day, social media does not hinder conversation if it is used appropriately. Rather, it connects us with people in unique and valuable ways and enhances our experiences of the world as we share them with people across the globe.
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