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When it comes to texting, there are two kinds of people: those who reply right away, and those who don’t. I’m a pretty strong advocate of the former. I like to think replying in a timely manner, particularly when someone needs something from you, is the courteous thing to do. Sometimes, however, that isn’t the case.
As much as I hate the archetypical teenager who’s glued to their phone in literally every family movie ever, it used to be a fairly accurate representation of me. I had a friend who lived on the other side of Canada, and since visiting each other was out of the question, our favourite form of communication was through iMessage. We loved talking to each other so much that we texted each other constantly throughout the day. We dreamt up fictional universes, shared our insecurities and when one of us wanted to rant about something, the other one of us was always there to listen.
I became so absorbed that my parents made a rule prohibiting phones at the dinner table. In retaliation, I would sneak away to the washroom, just so I could text her back. Whenever I smiled at my phone, my parents would know it was her. “What’s the hurry?” they would ask, chiding me. “Why can’t it wait?” It was never that I couldn’t wait. I just didn’t want to.
Although I had every intention of carrying through with our connection, transitioning to the demands of university was too much for me to juggle. My friend proved less than understanding to this change. If I didn’t reply, it meant that I didn’t care. Any response that took longer than 10 minutes was too long. One-word sentences like “nice” were disingenuous; “lol” seemed unengaged. We agreed to stop using “lmao” in our conversations because it seemed too “passive aggressive.” “Okay” meant things were not at all okay. They became words we used when we wanted to hurt each other–to make the other person doubt themselves.
I became antsy checking my phone dreading the exact moment she’d text me good morning. I started making excuses, desperate to find anything that could explain my inevitable lapses. I was taking a shower. I forgot to charge my phone. I passed out for a nap because class had exhausted me. I was exhausted — but not from class, from talking. Even the mere sight of an alert would give me bouts of anxiety.
Our friendship had no happy ending. The more we argued, the more I drew away. My friend went off to university herself the following year, and she got caught up in her life, much like I had in mine. The damage we had done to each other, however, was irreparable. It was impossible to part amicably, to check in every once in a while. So we cut all our ties.
Deleting her as a contact was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and knowing I could never reach out to her again made me feel incredibly alone. But it also helped me realize that texting each other constantly had been neither normal nor healthy. Texting was meant to be a convenience, not a hindrance. We shouldn’t have gone out of our ways to put texting first, and we should have never come to depend on each other in the way that we did. Life came first. When you were busy, the people you texted were supposed to understand.
I still get anxious when people don’t reply to me quickly, and the truth is, I could spend a lifetime worrying about why people take their time to reply. I always consider the possibility that people are making excuses, because I kept on making them myself. I always wonder whether I’m being exhaustive, because I felt that way so often trying to keep our conversations going. I’ve become hypersensitive to cues that indicate people are unhappy with me through text, because I was always expected to recognize the signs without ever being explicitly told.
Worrying, of course, does me no good. I remind myself of that every day. I tell myself to remember why I’m friends with people in the first place, because of their personalities and not because of the way we choose to phrase our texts. I tell myself to remember that if someone has an issue with me, I have to trust they’ll take it up with me in person. Texting isn’t meant to be a replacement for talking. If there’s something important to be said, then we have to speak up about it with our phones down.
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This past week Apple unveiled the soon-to-be released iOS 9, which heralds in new emojis, including a taco and the middle finger. It was a truly blessed day as it meant the human race was one step closer to getting rid of words all together. Just a few years ago young people everywhere were typing sentence fragments on their Blackberries. A few years before that people were typing out paragraphs in emails, but now we can just use emojis!
Nowadays, if someone asks you how your midterm went, all you have to do is type “crying face emoji” and “gun emoji” and you’re good to go. Incidentally, there has been debate about whether the dead face and gun emoji combo can be constituted as a threat in a court of law, which is equal parts interesting and hilarious.
Emojis conveys your point clearer than words do. They elevate the mundane to a visual and visceral experience. If you’re really happy that your mom bought you groceries, does a simple thank you or ten heart face emojis convey your message better?
Jokes aside, emojis may actually be the first global language. Someone in India may not understand what I mean when I say, “I’m pooped,” but they’ll understand if I send them a sad face and poop emoji. Admittedly, emojis are somewhat culture specific, but it’s not a stretch to imagine a world in the near future where this is not longer the case. The eggplant emoji, for one, is quite confusing. Are you looking to catch a dick or just get some eggplant ganoush? Luckily we’re making strides to an inclusive emoji world. Just a few months ago we finally got emojis that included people of different races.
How far has emojis penetrated our way of living? Check out Emoji Tracker, a website that visualizes the real time use of all emojis on Twitter. Be warned: you may get an epilepsy attack or lose faith in humanity. Who knew the cry laughing face is so popular? In other news, someone even translated the entirety of Moby Dick into Emoji Dick.
You might say, “Wait. Sometimes emojis can’t fully express my emotions.” To which I say, “You need to download GIF Keyboard.” It’s an app that allows you to easily search for gifs based on hashtags and send them on Facebook Messenger. If you’re feeling hungry, just search it on GIF Keyboard and you’ll get to choose from Bart Simpson starving, a hamster eating a bunch of baby carrots, and Tina Fey shoving a sandwich into her mouth while crying, among other great choices. What a time to be alive.
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It’s 4 in the morning and you’re at a random house party. Your friends are any number of things: passed out, belligerent, making out, the list goes on. As the party slowly clears out, you feel truly alone with your thoughts the first time that night. They are stronger than ever now, leaping over logical gaps that appeared seemingly insurmountable just a few hours ago. In a moment of weakness, you pull out your phone and start writing a text the length of a PhD dissertation. It could be because you had a fight with a significant other, you are wondering that you have been friend-zoned, or maybe that one person that one time looked at you funny and you want to make sure you’re cool with each other, you know? Again, the list goes on.
Later that morning, you wake up with a headache and the nagging feeling that you did something you shouldn’t have. When you check your phone you see the text you sent in all its elementary-school-level-English glory. After swearing off alcohol, now it’s time to figure out what to do next.
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Since high school, I have heard the same lies constructed to recover from a drunk text: my friend did it as a sick prank, I didn’t mean to text you but I was really drunk or I meant to send that to someone else. No one is by any means convinced, and science has proven the situation just became 10 times more awkward.
Not acknowledging the truth only makes it worse, because you are convincing the other person that the issue has implications that you don’t want to admit. They read the text. There’s no going back. So how do you recover from a drunk text? Well… you don’t. Even if you pass off your lie, the nagging problem in your mind is unresolved and will come back stronger eventually.
Often when we have feelings that we feel we shouldn’t have, we bury them deep inside. Not only are you giving them undue power, you are also invalidating your own emotions. This is fundamentally wrong because your emotions are always valid, no matter what you or others say. Maybe you understand that you should not have these feelings, but it is important to accept that you are having them and to understand why you are having them rather than letting it fester in the back of your mind.
Instead, you should make use of this opportunity. You’ve opened the can of worms, now you might as well just talk it through with the other person. The hardest part of bringing the issue up is not a problem anymore, so have an honest conversation to hash things out. It may not always end well, but it’s the best shot you have, and at least you always get closure.
Julia Busatto
The Silhouette
We’ve all been there, that moment when you get that special person’s number and the texting escapades begin.
Texting someone new feels like venturing into an unknown territory. It’s exciting, but proceed with caution my friends. A lot more than you may know is conveyed through a simple “lol”. Communication is easily lost through your iPhone screen and texting can be a recipe for disaster if handled by over zealous, unintelligible fingers. You’ve got to play the game, and you better be good at it.
So let’s run through some scenarios to help you maintain the interest of that particular lady, or not send that poor lad running to Compass for the earliest bus ticket out of the city.
When first interested in someone, they seem to be the only thing occupying your mind. However, you cannot let them know through your texts that you feel this way. Texting someone once or twice every couple of days at first is flattering, but texting them multiple times every single day is excessive.
What the other person comprehends from your texts may be false, but gives a negative impression nonetheless. The common, “What are you doing? What are you doing now? What’s up? How was class? What are you up to tonight?” texts that come in spurts every couple hours is a little much don’t you think? Don’t be a time consuming texter.
Secondly, response time is key. It’s okay to respond right away if the other person is doing the same, but if they delay their response time, delay yours. It’s a little embarrassing when you are always responding back right away, and their responses come every couple hours. To maintain interest, keep your response following the same timing as theirs. It’s becoming more and more like a game, isn’t it.
Next is the issue of emoticons, and those super keen texts that thrive in the forms of exclamation marks, extra lettered words, and excessive punctuation. This may make you appear juvenile, or immature. We all know girls want to text men, not boys. So expand your vocabulary, and avoid saying lol after every word lol and every sentence. Are you really laughing? Let’s be serious.
Lastly, don’t use your phone to send manuscripts of novels to the person you’re trying to impress. It’s not fun being a little tipsy on a Friday night, and trying to decipher a 4 page text. Be clear and concise. The only time a huge text is appropriate is when something outrageously funny happens and you’re texting your best friend, or you are giving your mom an extensive breakdown of your day.
If you take my advice I guarantee you, you will snag the person you’re trying so hard to “wheel”. Remember texting isn’t an art, it’s a strategic game.
Vanaja Sivakumar
SHEC
I know what you must be thinking: another article about the dangers of impaired driving, the same old stats that we have been hearing since high school. Well, the media, alongside groups such as MADD, has done a good job keeping our society constantly aware of the ultimate repercussions of driving under the influence.
So, this article will not be about alcohol or drugs but about the distractions you do not really think about, the ones that have crept into your everyday lives. Though they may seem harmless at first, they can cause just as much damage as drugs and alcohol when used in combination with driving and in some cases, even more so.
BBMing, IMing and Texting are getting more popular and have become a part of our everyday lives. Though many adults have become accustomed to the occasional text, our generation has been the most affected to a point that one could call it, dare I say, an epidemic. Many people would say this habit is relatively harmless in that it actually promotes networking for job searching and other benefits.
Until recently, however, very few have recognized the dangers of these habits while driving. A new survey conducted by Stats Canada said that 8/10 Canadian drivers were distracted behind the wheel. Unfortunately, most of these drivers were between the ages of 18-30, a large portion of our university’s age group, and cell phones are to blame.
“We think we’re invincible,” says fourth-year Life Science student Fariha Husain. “We all know that being distracted while we drive is a bad idea yet the common mentality is ‘I’m a good driver, it’s not going to happen to me. I mean I look up after every word I text, that is ridiculous!”
The list unfortunately does not end at cellphones for culprits that cause distracted driving. Elaborate car accessories, such as GPS systems and iPod docks, which are supposed to make driving easier, have escalated the problem. Part of the issue for GPS devices is that drivers rely on them too heavily and follow its directions blindly, even in some cases, right into oncoming traffic. Finding the right song to match your mood while driving has regrettably become more important than keeping your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel.
A study conducted at Drexel University in the Department of Computer Science in Philadelphia received results that showed that selecting media on an iPod had a significant effect on driver performance as measured by lateral deviation from lane centre (translation: not being able to drive straight). Similar results were also seen with cell phone use and driving.
Now onto a happier note: the general populace are slowly becoming aware of these issues and fortunately, are reacting and doing things about it. Laws not only in Canada but all over the world are being passed prohibiting the use of cell phones or other electrical device use while driving and hefty fines are being placed on the delusional people that still do.
The law is not the only venue being used for change - celebrities such as Oprah are getting in on the “No Phone Zone” in cars, and they are proving to be quite effective.
The most interesting solution that has been used to solve this rising problem is exercising technology to combat technology. Applications in the car and cell phones are becoming available to prevent the use of electronics while driving.
For an example, Textecution is an Android application aimed to restrict the user from sending text messages while driving. It costs roughly $10/month and works by tapping into the phone’s GPS system. If Textecution determines that the vehicle is moving over 10 km/h, it disables the phone’s texting capabilities. Similar features have been installed in GPS systems, where it detects how fast a vehicle is moving and disables the user from using the device until the vehicle has come to a full stop.
Being aware of the problem is the first step. To gain further insight on this issue and witness the consequences of impaired driving, McMaster’s Student Health Education Centre (SHEC) and the Emergency First Response Team (EFRT) will be hosting an Impaired Driving Event on March 26 in front of University Hall every hour starting at 10:20 a.m. This is an event that everyone should see so that no one has to experience it.
