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Like many other stressed students in my life, as of late I have been finding solace in procrastinating on Yik Yak, an anonymous Twitter-esque app restricted to your area. This all started when my roommate shared one of the most unbelievable Yaks I had ever read. There’s no refined way of putting this: the anonymous poster had stuck an everyday object up an unmentionable body orifice and decided to consult the Yik Yak world for advice on how to have it removed. My first question wasn’t how said item was lodged in said location (I think most of us could figure it out) but instead why the user decided to consult Yik Yak for medical advice. After spending most of my nights scrolling through endless Yaks, I’ve come to the conclusion that anonymity brings out the Internet troll in all of us, and I wonder, is it possible to get a troll to give you reasonable advice?

As much as I appreciated the guidance, I think I will pass on approaching him naked.

So, I Yik’ed and I Yak’ed and I asked a few questions. For someone who has been trying to get into yoga for the longest time, I thought I could get some advice on increasing my flexibility. Innocent me was simply looking for some stretches, but apparently the only things people wanted to advise me about were difficult sex positions. Well, I figured, if this was the advice that Yakkers were sending me, maybe I should ask for their help with the first step — resolving my non-existent love life. When asking how to hit on the attractive guy in my tutorial, the quality of replies was lacking. As much as I appreciated the guidance, I think I will pass on approaching him naked. At the expense of my dating life, I’ll elect to keep my dignity intact. Thanks for trying, anonymous Yik Yakker.

So after seeking out guidance from an anonymous social media source, I’ve learned that comments on Yik Yak are for the most part made in good spirit, even if the content does not answer the question at hand. Despite unhelpful advice, I will say that some comments did make me laugh, and maybe that’s enough. Even though they say laughter is the best medicine, the exception is if you have lost something up where the sun don’t shine — when faced with that problem, please, for the love of god, seek out a doctor.

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