There's no such thing as 'wanting to be raped'

Bianca Caramento
The Silhouette

Trigger Warning.

Typically, people challenge the notion that some victims “deserve” their assault. No one deserves to be raped, regardless of the circumstances. This article, however, challenges the notion that some people “want” to be raped.

According to Joseph W. Critellia and Jenny M. Bivonaa’s research, published in the The Journal of Sex Research, 31-57 per cent of women fantasize about being raped.

Let’s be clear. This fetish does not constitute a logical impossibility. Those who want to have sex in a manner that resembles forcible sex do not want to be raped; they simply want to have sex in a particular fashion.  Seeing as how the act of sex would be consensual, it is not rape that they want; rather, it is a type of sex.

It is impossible to “want” to be raped. Wanting it implies consent. Rape is non-consensual sex. As such, it is impossible to “want” to be raped because consensual sex negates rape. In the same way that no one deserves rape, no one wants it either. For if they did, it would not be considered rape to begin with.

This distinction is rather important for a number of reasons. If people speak lightly of rape or provide caveats for excuses, consequences follow. We must reinforce the notion that rape is never acceptable and there are no exceptions. It is more than trivial semantics; it is a matter of social framing. If rape is always framed in a way that maintains its literal meaning, it will be clear that it is never acceptable and should never be used lightly. Used in the context of the aforementioned statistic, rape is framed as both permissible and enjoyable. It is neither. While forceful sex may be enjoyable for some, non-consensual sex is not.

By pointing out the difference, my goal is not to discredit the statistic. On the contrary, my goal is to reframe the narrative that is used to depict this sexual preference, in a way that does not provide grounds for rape culture. Up to 57 per cent of women may very well fantasize about having forceful sex. That does not mean they want to be raped. No one “wants” to be raped. Quite clearly, no one can.