That midterm didn't "rape" you

By: Irina Sverdlichenko 

I understand; midterms suck. Tests suck. I feel your pain, your frustration. I’ve left a test hall feeling harassed by an assessment more than once since my time here. But I also acknowledge the physical and psychological ramifications rape victims endure days, even years after their attack. And I would never want to trivialize or imply that the magnitude of their ordeal was less than it was.

So why am I noticing a disturbing trend among my fellow classmates to alter the connotation of “rape?” Why is it suddenly okay to make callous remarks like, “that mid-term raped me,” while friends snicker and shake their heads in agreement? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not accusing every student of being inappropriate or not politically correct. But talking like this, with no inhibitions or latent human decency and sensitivity to what some people have gone through, causes a snowball effect where sexual assault becomes normalized in our culture.

We all know there’s been no shortage of reports on sexual assault victims coming forward to share their stories, to expose and put their rapists on trial in the court of public opinion. The Jian Gomeshi case sparked a national outcry for the controversy surrounding a man that used the blurred lines of consent in submissive and dominant sexual role-play as justification or a mitigating factor in the accusations made against him.

His insolent remarks and borderline victim blaming, using the term, “jilted ex-girlfriend” once or twice, prompted the creation of a hashtag, #BeenRapedNeverReported, where victims of sexual assault can share their personal assault stories. One of the more poignant was this one (paraphrased): “I didn’t think it qualified as 'real rape,' so I didn’t report it.”

What qualifies “real rape?” I’m not going to try to define it, because that’s not my objective. But the fact that an individual might be reticent coming forward to share their experience because society has set in place a rigid definition of “real rape” is worrisome; and is only exacerbated by the normalization and misuse of the term “rape.”

This might seem contradictory, but the detached use of the word attributes to it a lighter connotation, which is juxtaposed by society’s rigid interpretation of what rape really is. This leaves no grey area, which is where a lot of rape victims might fall into. So making a joke out of a believed small group is actually being highly insensitive to a larger demographic.

We have to stop using the word “rape” to describe our difficult tests or exams, as this is not conducive to creating an environment educated on the topic of sexual assault.