Cock block

JOY SANTIAGO / MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

Brandon Meawasige 

Assistant Sports Editor

Although the term “cock block” typically denotes some sort of hindrance on the activity of male genitals, the crime with which it is actually associated equally affects both genders.

So ladies and gentleman, you are omitting truth if you say that you have never been affected in some way by the cock block.

Whether you have found yourself saying “she totally would have been DTF, bro, if that person hadn’t…” or you’ve had to listen to your buddy explain the chemistry between him and his would-be conquest to the tune of, “man, she was feeling it, why’d you have to cock block me like that?” somehow, the practice has found its way into your life.

Unfortunately, in some cases, you too will be blamed for cock blocking.

That being said, there is a very fine line between being at fault and not having had anything to do with the failure, rejection or what ever it may be.

So what constitutes a cock block?

And what doesn’t?

Let’s start with what doesn’t.

First of all, if you set a goal to go home with someone from the bar and you don’t do it, there is probably no one to blame but yourself.

Sure, she may have walked away after one drink, but that isn’t because the bartender made a bad vodka and diet coke.

Chances are, it was something you said.

If her friends beckon for her and she walks away, you did not get cock blocked; she had a choice to stay and probably would have if she wanted to.

In order for one to truly be cock blocked, one must first have some chance at success before their efforts are circumvented.

We’re talking about the type of interaction with a girl that could only be broken by some sort of cosmic accident and should in no way resemble a shot in the dark at the bartender.

With the above considered, you have a right to be upset if a legitimate chance at achieving your goal is in some way ruined by a third party.

This can third party can come in numerous forms.

There is the traditional third wheel, which is the person that, for whatever reason, simply doesn’t understand when there is work being done.

Though the intentions behind that may not always be bad, the outcome usually is.

Exes can also be an extremely effective method of avoiding success.

The conversation between you and your new friend, in most cases, will probably end once you answer the question,

“Who was that?” Enough said.

Greater than all cock blocks, though, is the mother hen.

She the one who takes it upon herself to look out for her friends just a little too much – the kind that, in search of greater good, makes an attempt to impose good decision making on all.

Where is any of the fun in that?

Not everything has to be blamed on another person when it comes to the failure, either.

Sometimes circumstance can be the biggest cock block.

There are far too many to list. Anything can happen at any time.

Parents can call, roommates can require assistance after breaking up with their boyfriends, and sometimes the Blue Line cab needs to pull over to expel the numerous tequila shots enjoyed in Hess Village.

Whatever it may be, to be cock blocked is to be the victim of a crime against humanity. But at the end of the day, you can still find comfort in the fact that it wasn’t your fault.