Dating is hard, but commitment is worse

In an era where physical intimacy no longer requires commitment, we’re seeing the decline of traditional courtship

The process of getting to know someone through consistent dates and meaningful conversation is a crucial stage before entering a committed relationship. This “traditional” stage of dating allows both people to invest time and effort into building a connection. It was a way to explore compatibility and emotional intimacy, with the understanding that it may or may not lead to a deeper relationship 

Today, modern dating can bypass the traditional format of formal dates designed to help people get to know each other. With the understanding that sexual or physical intimacy no longer necessarily requires commitment, the dating stage itself has changed. 

This dating stage is commonly referred to as the “talking stage” or “situationships” by Generation Z which often lacks the structure of planned dates, leaving the process more casual and less defined. 

The rise of technology has aided in shifting this stage. Dating apps, social media and increased online communication have played significant roles in reshaping how relationships and courtship are approached today. People can now connect with potential matches online, no longer limited by location. 

While hookup culture has always existed, particularly in environments that encourage autonomy such as universities, technology has amplified this trend. People are exposed to a variety of profiles, allowing them to explore potential interests. This removes the constraints of getting to know one person at a time, consistent communication and real-life interaction. 

One could argue that the decline of traditional dating can largely be attributed to how we now communicate and interact. In the past, social skills like charisma, being a good conversationalist and knowing how to flirt were essential tools for dating. Today, however, these skills have been reduced to trendy buzzwords like “rizz”, a term that ironically does not necessarily imply one can genuinely engage with another person. 

As a result, there is a growing disconnect, with some individuals seeking casual encounters while others are looking for commitment. This creates an awkward space where casual encounters or “talking stages” become the norm, driven by their low pressure and lack of commitment. 

The shift towards low-pressure dating scenes, where traditional dating is avoided unless boundaries are explicitly set, reflects deeper changes in how people approach relationships today. Whether it is a fear of commitment, anxiety about dating, or a reluctance to be vulnerable, many are opting for casual connections that do not require the emotional investment of a committed relationship. 

Although, it is important to note there are differences between younger and older generations, with younger people often favouring low-pressure, casual connections over traditional, long-term commitments. This shift in dating culture is also impacted by factors such as sexual orientation, education, gender, race and age. 

For example, a 2019 American study found that Black adults are more likely to be single than White or Hispanic adults. Those with less education are also more likely to remain single. These factors shape when and how people are ready to date, with many younger individuals prioritizing personal growth and independence. 

Ultimately, the decline of traditional dating reflects broader societal changes, where technology has expanded access to potential partners and increased selectiveness in dating intentions. With the rise of low-pressure, casual connections, there’s a growing need to reconsider the importance of self-love, vulnerability and emotional intimacy in building meaningful partnerships.