EDITORIAL: When my Valentine's Day changed forever

It was one year ago this Valentine’s Day that I found my grandpa’s body.

On an otherwise usual Thursday, I arrived home after an anthropology tutorial to find him laid down by a heart attack at the side door of the home we shared. He hadn’t made it inside.

A lot of things changed on that day. I lost my housemate, my grandfather and my friend. The world lost a scientist, a beer-connoisseur and a remarkable human being. As anyone who has lost loved ones will know, that day was the first day of a journey I didn’t choose to embark upon; one I didn’t even realize was in motion until long afterwards.

Such journeys, of course, are not without their ups and downs – some immediate, some down the road. I found out what it feels like to ride in the front of an ambulance in a state of shock. I know what it’s like to hold the hand of a person you’ve known your whole life, when their hand has no life left in it. I realized the inanity of the things we cling to, as I grieved the melting of the snow bank into which he had fallen.

I discovered what it is to have the association of an innocent object trigger a wave of uncontrollable sadness, and that this is inevitable as much in private as it is in public. I became anxious that I would lose more people that I loved suddenly, soon, without warning. I also questioned the fact that grandpa died on Valentine’s Day.

“Why did it have to happen on Valentine’s Day?” I repeatedly asked myself. I suppose I was worried that this celebratory day would be spoiled by sadness, or that the inescapable nature of such a heavily advertised day would be hard to bear.

I’ve discovered that neither is the case. In fact, my feelings are quite contrary.

I’m now glad Valentine’s was the day. For what other day of the year is entirely devoted to love? Behind the commercialism, superficiality and fanfare of February 14, the essence of love remains.

Valentine’s has become a reminder of my wonderful, supportive friends, of the strength of my family and the love I have for them, and of the romantic love I share with my partner. Valentine’s isn’t just for lovers - it’s for love of all sorts: friendly, familial and romantic. And it’s for the kind of love that lingers in my memory of a time, a place and a person who is lost but never forgotten – especially on Feb. 14.