How students are affected by divorce

Sonya Khanna

Business Editor

Divorce can be a drag. While it might be an escape from the perpetual turmoil in a household, there are a slew of long-term issues that may arise in the years subsequent to divorce. Having divorced parents, I can say personally that although the matter had been lingering throughout my childhood, the issues evident in the years prior to the separation were almost as negatively doused in drama as the issues that arose post-divorce.

After the epic custody battle of ’06, an array of issues ensued, much to my dismay. Cue Dad’s new girlfriend and the possibility of marriage number two and let the emotional rampage continue. In modern society, divorce, a once frowned-upon notion, is now increasingly prevalent among many families. In 2006, more than 1.6 million Canadians were divorced. The nonchalant attitude towards divorce is epitomized particularly in Hollywood, where stars seem to change spouses as frequently as they would purchase a Starbucks latte.

As divorce becomes less a taboo topic in many cultures, it seems as though a trend has been set, paving the way for more families to hop on board. Although divorce may seem like an optimal alternative and parents may have the best intentions in doing it, there are several negative long-term implications for children and adolescents of divorce that may get shoved under the rug. The concept of ‘staying together for the kids’ is quite popular. Whether or not this positively affects children in the long run is debateable.

Picture this familiar scenario: Mom and Dad prepare the perfect meal and sit the family down around the dinner table. All seems normal, but this is just the calm before the storm. Before you know it the bomb’s been dropped, the emotional havoc unravels, and that chicken dinner doesn’t seem to be sitting too well. Suddenly promises of an ‘amicable’ divorce and ‘joint’ custody are being thrown around to ease the minds of the children and to lessen the guilt of the parents.

Although in some circumstances of low-conflict marriages this may seem like an ideal alternative for both parents and children, the notion of a ‘good divorce’ is rare. Separation in households, regardless of the level of conflict, often leaves children vulnerable to new challenges not visible in intact families.

“After my parents divorced I went through an emotional breakdown,” said fourth-year McMaster student Kevin Kang. “Even though I was in my late teens I struggled with anxiety, depression a bunch of problems in school that I didn’t have before.”

Traumatic events can make it tough to focus on everyday tasks, negatively impacting emotional well being and hurting academic performance. Various avenues have been made readily available to students that seek to improve the condition of students. The Mental Health Wellness Team is available at the Student Wellness Centre to McMaster students. Counsellors are available to assist students in treating “upsetting thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that may be hindering the student’s capability to succeed in their educational and personal endeavours,” according to the organization’s website.

Counselling may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you find yourself feeling emotionally beat due to unsettling family matters try seeking the comfort and advice of your friends or other family members. Although it is easier said than done, as many are shy of revealing intimate family details, it may come as a surprise to learn just how much others can relate to what you are going through. Be it in a negative or positive way, divorce does drastically alter the identities of those impacted.