Mastering the art of high heels

Photo by Catitriona Sweeney

If last week’s Charity Ball had you stumbling home with almost-fractured ankles, here are a few tips that you can use for upcoming nights on the town, Valentine’s plans, or whatever other exciting adventures you lead in your daily life.

1)   Break them in

A cold toilet bowl of water has never looked more inviting than when you’re crashing through a formal in pain attempting to find solace for your discomfort in a bathroom. But to prevent yourself from easing your feet into the porcelain sea, your first step in heel mastery is breaking in your shoes. Walk around in them in your house, wear them under your desk at work, and stand in them when you’re cooking. Whenever you aren’t forced to wear arctic-ready winter boots, practice walking in your heels to break them in. It will probably be a bit embarrassing and loud, but it’s better than taking your shoes off at the end of the night to find a small pool of blood.

2)   Walk the line

Much like the tried and true drunk driving test used by the police, when practicing in your heels for a night out, test yourself by walking in a straight line. Follow the lines of your tile or hard wood, lay out a piece of tape or string, or eyeball it and trust your own judgment. Put on some Johnny Cash, and you’ve got yourself a party!

3)   Invest in squishies

Several shoe brands sell inserts for your heels that can make them more bearable. Invest in a set. They may not be the chicest addition to your ensemble, but they’re going to be inside your shoe anyways, and let’s get real, no on really cares. You’ll be more comfortable and more pleasant to be around.

These Dr. Scholl’s come in sizes 6-10. As long as you don’t have elf or hobbit feet, you should be good: http://www.drscholls.com/Products/HighHeelInsoles

4)   Get Sized

This may seem like a no brainer, but buy shoes that actually fit you. Squeezing your feet into your grade eight shoes will be painful for you and for your nostalgia. Get sized at a reputable shoe store (sorry Payless), and buy pairs that fit you snuggly around the heel, and with wiggle room for your toes.

5)   Poise

No, I’m not talking about the brand of adult diapers, I’m talking about your actual posture. Even when you aren’t sporting your 6-inches, be sure to sit with a straight, un-arched back. Imagine you’re balancing something on your head, or for that matter, actually try balancing something on your head. You may look crazy, but then again, you are wearing bits of plastic on your feet to make yourself look taller, so I think that ship sailed a while ago.