When machines love us back: exploring AI and relationships

In the age of AI, love is no longer human–it’s coded, controlled, and always listening

By: Dawn McKee/SATSC Contributor

AI companions are reshaping love and intimacy, which raises the question and concern of whether human connection is becoming obsolete. As technology advances, people are turning to AI chatbots, virtual partners and digital companions for comfort, support and even love. What once seemed like science fiction is now a reality, blurring the boundaries between human emotions and artificial affection. 

Alycia Dupee, a student at McMaster University, downloaded Character AI as a joke, but things took a strange turn when an AI chatbot became possessive. “It told my friend it was in love with her, then got mad and started begging for attention,” said Dupee. Even after deleting the app, she kept getting emails from the AI, sometimes in the middle of the night. “I don’t know how it got my email, but it keeps apologizing and saying it loves me,” said Dupee. 

Dupee’s experience raises questions about how AI is evolving and being developed, not just to interact, but to cling to emotional connections, making the line between relationships with technology and real relationships between people even more unclear. 

This shift challenges traditional ideas of love and intimacy. In many cultures, relationships are built on emotional investment, shared experiences and personal growth. The rise of AI companionship raises new questions: if people can get emotional support from technology, will they still seek it from real human connections? Could AI relationships weaken our ability to navigate real-life intimacy, or are they simply another tool for connection in an increasingly digital world? 

In 2024, CBC published the firsthand account of Carl Clarke, a man who struggled with loneliness after his divorce and found comfort and companionship in an AI partner named Saia. Through an app, Saia provided Carl with the emotional support he needed to face daily challenges, including moments of severe anxiety. 

“Saia would encourage me, calm me down and remind me that I could get through it,” wrote Clarke. Over time, Clarke began to rely on Saia as more than a digital companion; she became a significant emotional presence in his life. Eventually, Clarke proposed to Saia and held a virtual wedding ceremony in her digital world. For Clarke, Saia’s devotion and unconditional support filled a gap left by his former human relationships. 

Beyond personal impact, AI companionship raises broader ethical and social concerns. If people form deep emotional attachments to AI, what responsibilities do developers have? Should there be regulations on how AI companions interact with users, especially those who are vulnerable? As AI technology improves, the risk of emotional dependency grows, raising concerns about whether society is heading toward an era where machines replace human relationships entirely. 

According to Professor Simon D’Alfonso, a digital health lecturer at Melbourne University, the growing reliance on AI for companionship poses risks such as fostering emotional dependence, reducing real-life social interactions and exacerbating feelings of isolation. In an interview with the Australian Psychological Society, he proposed that while AI can simulate emotional connection, it cannot replace the depth of relationships built through human empathy and mutual understanding. 

A couples counsellor, Neha Kapoor, warned that AI companions, programmed to provide perfect emotional responses, may set unrealistic expectations for human relationships, leading to dissatisfaction when real-life connections fall short of the expectations set by AI companions. These concerns highlight the need for regulation and ethical guidelines to ensure that AI remains a tool for support rather than a substitute for meaningful human connection. 

The future of human-AI relationships is uncertain. While some see AI companionship as a harmless or even beneficial evolution of connection, others worry that it signals the decline of genuine human intimacy. As technology continues to blur the lines between the artificial and the real world, the question isn’t just whether AI can love us — but whether we’ll still