Let It buzz

Anyone who has ever had a roommate has probably encountered that awkward moment when you want a little “private time” but your roommate is either in the room or in close proximity to it. When the mood hits and I want to settle down with one of my vibrators, I often find myself focused on where my roommate is and whether or not she can hear the buzzing, rather than the pleasantries going on between my legs.

I’m not a prude at all, but since childhood, I, and most other women, have been inundated with the paradox that women are simultaneously supposed to be sexual beings and lack sexual knowledge. These ideas have somehow manifested themselves in the way that women masturbate. I’m speaking directly about women because a) it’s harder for women who use toys to be quiet compared to men who prefer manual stimulation and b) men have fewer sexual expectations thrust upon them (no pun intended). We have all had that childhood conversation about masturbating where one or more of your friends denied ever doing it, claiming that it was gross, while those same conversations in groups of male friends resulted in high fives and trading secrets.

Why? I personally love orgasms and masturbating. Being a lesbian, getting in touch with my body allows me to be better in bed. It also allows me to feel more confident about myself. The more comfortable I am with all parts of my body, the less shame I feel about it. I own six vibrators, and one of my favourite places to go shopping is an adult store. For me, buying a new sex toy is like Christmas morning, but the fear of my roommate overhearing me masturbate really puts a damper on the whole hot and bothered mood.

It’s time to put the shame to bed, turn up the vibrator to the highest speed, and moan away. If you’re a vocal person, it can be hard to feel comfortable when you don’t live alone, but not accepting this taboo that has been forced on us is the first step towards satisfaction. It’s hard to completely let loose and enjoy yourself when you have one ear on the other side of the door. If you do find it hard to get off when your roommate or parents are home, try the shower, non-battery-operated toys, or go old-school and get reintroduced to your hand.

Solo time should be between you, your body, and whatever medium you decide. Clit stimulator, rabbit, suction dildo, g-spot vibrator, external, internal, bullet, whatever your vibrator preferences are, I hope that you’ll let it buzz loud and proud and have the orgasm of your life.