Maslow's hierarchy of needs adapted to McMaster student living

Physiological

At the bottom of the pyramid, we find the most basic, physical needs of humans: breathing, food, drink, sleep and sex. Lucky for you, McMaster makes it easy for you to fulfill most, if not all, of them.

Breathing: Mac is conveniently located on the planet Earth, known for its abundance of oxygen. If you’re reading this, you’ve probably figured out the whole breathing thing and should move on to the next point.

Food: It’s pretty much everywhere. If you are on campus, you are never more than five minutes away from a meal, or at the very least, a snack to keep you going. Thode Library even has a café on the first floor, so you can satisfy your hunger for knowledge and croissants in the same place. And if you’re commuting from home, most parents come equipped with a full fridge!

Drink: You’re in first year, which probably means you’re not 19 yet. But don’t worry; you’ll find a way. For all you of-age fogies, though, the west-heading bus will take you straight to University Plaza in less than 15 minutes. It has the usual LCBO, as well as a Dollorama, a Coles, and a few food sources, if you’re still hungry after the last paragraph. On campus, you’ve got bars The Phoenix and TwelvEighty. Walk east into Westdale for The Snooty Fox, or south of campus for Ramshead, West End Pub and Emerson Pub.

Sleep: This is where Maslow and I disagree. He thinks sleep is an important human need, whereas I have a few years of anecdotal evidence to disprove the old man. Sleep? Forget about sleep. You’re in university now.

Sex: You sly dog, you. The Student Health Education Centre (SHEC) on the second floor of the student centre, room 202, is perpetually stocked with free condoms, lube and volunteers to answer all your health-related (sexual and otherwise) questions. Pick up some protection, find someone that’s into you, and getterdone.

Security

Security of Body: Campus is a safe place to be. There are emergency telephone portals, equipped with bright lights, smattered around campus. You can always see at least one, no matter where you are. And more than that, for the times you’re off-campus and trying to get home safely at night, you can call up the Student Walk Home Attendant Team (SWHAT) and they’ll send out a man and a woman to get you where you need to go. So don’t sweat, call SWHAT.

Security of Health: In addition to the student-run SHEC, there’s also the Student Wellness Centre. There you can get appointments with mental or physical health professionals, five days a week, all year round.

Security of Employment: Not yet. That’s what you’re here to attain, remember? But until then, there are many part-time employment opportunities on campus. Check out OscarPlusMcMaster.ca or the McMaster Students Union jobs portal for available job opportunities in the area.

Love/Belonging

This level of the Pyramid is similar to the one bellow it, in that it provides some stable support, but this time of the emotional variety. There are clubs for everyone at Mac (check out Clubsfest on Sept. 5), and finding one you enjoy gives a great sense of belonging, without having to join a gang. There are thousands of people to choose from at university, so you can surround yourself with people that keep you feeling energized and excited about your life.

Esteem

Now that we’re nearing the top of this pyramid, it’s time to get a little serious. Self-esteem and confidence might fail you in the first few weeks of school. You’re adjusting to a new environment, and might feel a bit out of place. Play your cards right, though, and you’ll quickly discover skills you might not have known you even had.