On the Road: A car ride and airport wait survival guide
As long as you’re not driving or flying the plane, there’s no reason why the hours leading up to your arrival have to be boring or PG-13.
The rising action of travel takes place during the journey to the destination. Don’t let it take on the face of a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie - create a worthwhile lead up to the climax with a whimsical adventure in travel-safe activities. Make the most of your journey by coming prepared and hyping up the adventure before it officially begins.
Activities Worth Your Time
1) Madlibs: Entertainment for the masses.
Whenever people travel, it seems completely necessary to pack a journal. “I’m going to write down everything I do so I’ll never forget what happened”- theoretically, a great idea, but let’s get real, you’re not a nine-year-old girl going to camp for the first time who loves scrapbooking and is obsessed with her mom. You’re not going to end up writing in the journal. Instead, pack something that has fun rewarding principles not just for yourself, but for those around you. Madlibs is not only a great way to befriend that foreign old man sitting next to you on the plane, but it’s a fun way to pass time and practice your use of inappropriate adjectives in casual pre-written phrases.
2) Airport scavenger hunts or road trip bingo.
Before you set sail (maybe literally), write out a list of items you could potentially find while awaiting your arrival or departure. For instance, an airport scavenger hunt could include: locate one family of Japanese tourists, or construct a hat out of free luggage tags. Road trip bingo could include a number of boxes with different possible sights such as: an abandoned farmhouse that may or may not have been in a low-budget horror film, or a cow with low self-esteem. Write down the location of where you saw it, and whoever makes a line first, wins.
3) Alternate between catnaps and staring contests with strangers.
Napping during a car ride or flight is easier said than done. They both provide long uninterrupted times for relaxation, but uncomfortable body positions and noisy neighbors
Other possible activities: singing around an iPhone campfire, Taboo, or consensual touching.
1) Border-approved snacks.
It’s always disappointing when you spend time crafting an artisan peanut butter and jelly sandwich only to have it taken away by a greasy looking security guard who’s convinced it may contain crystal meth. The next time you’re making an international run, be sure to carry snacks that cannot be hijacked by the hijack police.
Fresh fruit is a no-no. So is raw meat, but that’s a given. Dried apples and rice cakes are nutritious, delicious and stale enough to not be taken away. Pre-packaged food is always a good way to go. I recommend Fundip. This actually crystal meth-like snack is quirky, nostalgic and an activity in itself.
2) Become a teeny tiny bartender.
Airplane food is not exactly gourmet. But, it tastes a lot better if you’re drunk enough to not know what you’re eating. Don’t get out of control, but also don’t be hesitant about mixing your own drinks on your flight. Numerous tiny, adorable bottles of alcohol are at your disposal. Find out what happens when pineapple juice and vodka come together, or what happens when a university student goes ham on airplane liquor at high altitudes. Just remember to drink responsibly and don’t go overboard, you do not want to be that person who vomits during turbulence.
Other possible snacks: dried or candied anything.
1) Midnight Train to Georgia- Gladys Knight
2) Life is a Highway- Rascall Flats
3) Leaving on a Jet Plane- Peter, Paul and Mary
4) I Just Called to Say I Love You- Stevie Wonder
5) I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)- The Proclaimers
6) America- Simon and Garfunkel
7) California Dreamin’- The Mamas and the Papas
8) Rocket Man- Elton John
9) Island in the Sun- Weezer
10) Africa- Toto
11) Down Under- Men at Work
12) Holiday- Madonna
13) I Can Go the Distance- Tate Donovan (Hercules) (not the Michael Bolton version, for the love of God)
14) In the Sun- She and Him
15) Road Regrets- Dan Mangan
16) I Want to Soak Up the Sun- Sheryl Crow
17) Summertime Sadness- Lana Del Rey
18) Drive By- Train
19) Walk it Out- UNK
20) Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa- Vampire Weekend
21) Saskatchewan- Les Trois Accords
22) Home for a Rest- Spirit of the West