Separating friends from financial foes

Sonya Khanna

Business Editor

Picture this: your server slips the bill on your table; everyone reaches for their wallet to chip in, with the exception of one stingy individual, who instead scuffles around in search of some non-existent form of payment. Everyone finds themselves scrounging for cash to cover the balance. I’m sure the characteristics of this individual are similar to someone we all know – a frivolous spender of money that isn’t theirs, and a stingy lender at heart.

The easy answer is simply to just say, no. One word, completely painless, but the ramifications of saying no can be a tad bit unnerving, particularly if the person is close to you. When a good friend asks you for money, fumbling around for the appropriate response can be a cumbersome task.

Test the security of repayment. How well do you know your friends? Are they compulsive money squanderers, or would they be categorized as money-conscious individuals, spending only when deemed necessary?

Lending cash is just a small piece of the financial burden that you’ll be taking on. Obviously, this is not to suggest that you should be too cynical to lend money at all, but be cautious. Some friends are better at giving money back than others.

“I’ve loaned money to friends before and, for the most part, they’re pretty good at repaying money, but sometimes there will be those odd friends who just don’t seem to put any importance on it,” said fourth-year McMaster student, Jessica Garcia. “It becomes pretty disheartening when you put a lot of faith in close friends and you notice they really don’t care.”

Most students bear similar financial circumstances, so if you know upfront that lending money encompasses a greater long-term financial risk for you if the repayment is delayed, then don’t give it out. Ask yourself, is the money being put to a necessary expenditure? It is important to assess unexpected changes that may come about with your finances, and as such, loaning funds when you are unable to satisfy your own financial obligations will lead to frustration on your part and amplify the awkwardness factor.

“I once had a friend ask me for a couple bucks at the bar. She didn’t take into account the intensity of her drinking expenses for the night, so I loaned her money under the unspoken condition that it would be returned when she got money again,” says Garcia. “I guess it was my fault for making that assumption, but after over two weeks went by and I still hadn’t received any money, it definitely got me questioning whether I made the right decision.”

After cash has been loaned, weeks have passed and as the financial burdens pile, you wither in ball of anxiety stemming from the realization that your source of funds is scarce. To avoid the risk of being rude, you may shy away from confrontation. However, in the long run, getting it off your chest will lessen the burden on your end and clear your mind.

“What it comes down to is not so much about the money as it is about principle surrounding it,” said Garcia. “If I loan you money, be respectful. I’m not asking for money immediately, but when I see you using cash to buy yourself a couple of beers, I’m asking myself why you couldn’t have given me money instead. We’re all students here.”

To put a damper on the inevitable awkwardness of financial matters, confront the situation by asking your friend what the money is being put toward – a piece of information that you are entitled to. Keeping things transparent from the get-go will help you determine whether loaning the money is a smart idea. Whether financing a night of binge drinking is an important investment is your call, but once you have been made aware of what the money is being put towards, you can’t hold that against the recipient.

Although putting a time frame on repayment may stir some uneasy female viagra feelings on both ends, discussing this ahead of time will offer an ease of communication in the future. Insisting on adhering to a fixed repayment schedule might seem a tad excessive, but it might prevent arguments that could damage your friendship.

Follow up casually with your friend after a few days have passed to avoid aggressive and demanding communication methods. Friendly reminders are a far more effective means of sending a message across.

If the chance of repayment seems slim, depending on the amount of money, it may be better to cut your losses, consider the money lost and move on. In that unfortunate scenario, it’s up to you to decide whether to continue on with the friendship under the implication that a barrier will be placed on your financial generosity.

Also keep in mind that things come up. Just as you have certain financial burdens, consider the fact that your friend might share similar financial difficulties. Asking you for money might have been their last alternative to seek funds. Take this into consideration and go easy on them instead of hassling them.