The beginning of the end of words

September 17, 2015
This article was published more than 2 years ago.
Est. Reading Time: 2 minutes

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This past week Apple unveiled the soon-to-be released iOS 9, which heralds in new emojis, including a taco and the middle finger. It was a truly blessed day as it meant the human race was one step closer to getting rid of words all together. Just a few years ago young people everywhere were typing sentence fragments on their Blackberries. A few years before that people were typing out paragraphs in emails, but now we can just use emojis!

Nowadays, if someone asks you how your midterm went, all you have to do is type “crying face emoji” and “gun emoji” and you’re good to go. Incidentally, there has been debate about whether the dead face and gun emoji combo can be constituted as a threat in a court of law, which is equal parts interesting and hilarious.

Emojis conveys your point clearer than words do. They elevate the mundane to a visual and visceral experience. If you’re really happy that your mom bought you groceries, does a simple thank you or ten heart face emojis convey your message better?

Jokes aside, emojis may actually be the first global language. Someone in India may not understand what I mean when I say, “I’m pooped,” but they’ll understand if I send them a sad face and poop emoji. Admittedly, emojis are somewhat culture specific, but it’s not a stretch to imagine a world in the near future where this is not longer the case. The eggplant emoji, for one, is quite confusing. Are you looking to catch a dick or just get some eggplant ganoush? Luckily we’re making strides to an inclusive emoji world. Just a few months ago we finally got emojis that included people of different races.

How far has emojis penetrated our way of living? Check out Emoji Tracker, a website that visualizes the real time use of all emojis on Twitter. Be warned: you may get an epilepsy attack or lose faith in humanity. Who knew the cry laughing face is so popular? In other news, someone even translated the entirety of Moby Dick into Emoji Dick.

You might say, “Wait. Sometimes emojis can’t fully express my emotions.” To which I say, “You need to download GIF Keyboard.” It’s an app that allows you to easily search for gifs based on hashtags and send them on Facebook Messenger. If you’re feeling hungry, just search it on GIF Keyboard and you’ll get to choose from Bart Simpson starving, a hamster eating a bunch of baby carrots, and Tina Fey shoving a sandwich into her mouth while crying, among other great choices. What a time to be alive.

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